# Fate dangles a carrot before me! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2000, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033 "2000-03-21T19:04:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Thirsty4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Thirsty4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thirsty4)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/41 "2000-03-22T15:37:00Z")
Eve, ## If AMC has any sense of taste, style and sophistication you are a shoe-in. And if they don’t, well they don’t deserve you anyway. “You CAN’T be evil. 'Cos no matter how many ‘bad’ things you do on purpose, you MUST be doing it because you think it’s the right thing to do.” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/42 "2000-03-22T15:38:00Z")
Hmmmm . . . Good idea, CM. “Gee, we were going to hire you, Miss Golden—but you seem to have gained 50 pounds!” If I do get a TV job, you realize, I will never be able to eat again . . . Calista Flockhart and Courtney Cox and I can trade upchucking tips. I really am excited about all this—but I don’t want to get my hopes too high, as realistically I don’t have much of a chance at getting this, and I don’t want to be dashed from too high a height. Still, I do a Happy Dance up and down the hallway now and again . . . Plus, I have my new book coming out to be all excited about, so this does help me forget about the one or two horrendous things that are also going on in my life! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/43 "2000-03-22T15:43:00Z")
Well Done Eve!!! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/44 "2000-03-22T17:23:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Why do I get the ominous feeling that all this is leading up to a huge let-down? Our headline today on CNN: Ted Turner announced that he has decided to shut down the American Movie Channel. Turner, who had previously bought the rights to every film made prior to 1970, said “I don’t know what I was thinking. Even after I spent so much effort trying to improve these so-called classic films by adding color, and sound, and special effects, and car chases, and gratuitous nudity, and numerous commercials, I still got complaints. It’s obvious to me that there must be something wrong with these old movies. So I’ve decided to cancel AMC and start up another network dedicated to showing nothing but baby boomer sit-coms. We’ll be premiering with a hundred episode Brady Bunch marathon hosting by none other than Barry Williams himself.” On next story is that authorities are still trying to identify the ax-wielding woman who attempted to break in to Mr Turner’s home last night. The FBI is investigated all leads including the woman’s use of the names of various film actresses from the 1920’s and 1930’s as aliases in hotel registries. An FBI spokesman said “We have evidence that this woman belongs to an organization known as the South Dakota Militia Band and we expect to identify and arrest her in the near future based on this information.” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/45 "2000-03-22T17:26:00Z")
Nemo—Har! ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/46 "2000-03-22T20:42:00Z")
Eve, PLEASE tell me you aren’t going to end up another Booley Mia like the women you mentioned. Courtney Cox looks like a lollipop with that huge head on that pale, stick-like body. Don’t you be a sucker, too (hey, that was a deft segue…somebody ought to hire me as a writer or something). You look fabulous just as you are, judging by the PBS special I saw you on. As for that self-defeatist “I have little chance of getting this” thing, bear in mind that THEY called YOU. That automatically sets you above Barry Williams, who probably slinks from audition to audition doing his “Johnny Bravo” bit trying to score sympathy gigs. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/47 "2000-03-22T20:57:00Z")
Go Eve Go! Forgive me, Eve for not congratulating you sooner. If you need an imposing Luca Brasi like figure to convince the prez of AMC that either your name or his brains will end up on that contract, give me a ring. I’m sorry, but I don’t feel like being guided through the rich treasure-trove of cinema’s golden age by Greg Brady. * * * **Gypsy** : Tom, I don’t get you. **Tom Servo** : Nobody does. I’m the wind, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/48 "2000-03-22T20:59:00Z")
Thanks, Chef, dear—I could never get as thin as Courtney and Calista; I hate throwing up! I just don’t want to get my hopes too high—this job would be the best thing that ever happened to me, a real dream job . . . having it yanked away would kill me if I let it. Meantime, I’m practicing sweeping in and out of rooms going, “Hello, I’m Loretta Young . . .” I think they’re starting to get suspicious at the office. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/49 "2000-03-22T21:42:00Z")
They just gave me a big party at work, to congratulate me on my book coming out—that was so sweet, I’m almost not ticked-off about the crappy things they’ve done to me over the years! It was a surprise party, and when I walked in and they yelled “Congratulations!” my first thought was, “Omigod, how did they find out about the AMC audition?” Anyway, this was the first time anyone has ever thrown me a surprise party—this really has been one helluva week! ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033/50 "2000-03-22T22:35:00Z")
Did they give you a card? Did they ask you to proofread it? [http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif](http://www.beginbids.com/ubb/smilies/icon25.gif) Speaking of proofreading, I just posted to your thread in the Pit, in case you’ve abandoned it. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-dangles-a-carrot-before-me/15033.md?page=2)