# Fate had decreed that SOMETHING was dying. I'm just glad it wasn't me.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 8, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128 "2005-11-08T23:16:31Z")
**Posts on this page:** 9
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128/1 "2005-11-08T23:16:31Z")
I was on the way to work this morning, bopping along, windows down, singing along with Black Sabbath. I came around a steep curve on the old country road where I work (probably just a little fast,) and this large black dog darted out of a pasture and right in front of my car.
I veered just a bit, missing the dog, but my new trajectory took me directly toward a steep ditch, and since it was approaching very quickly indeed, I overcompensated and sent my car into a wild, careening skid down the road. I first fishtailed, then panic-locked my brakes (shut up, you defensive driving expert know-it-alls :)), and went into a rather graceful 180-degree skid.
Well, somewhere in there, I became aware that while I had missed the dog, a (luckless) squirrel had also darted out into the road, and as I passed through the 90-degree mark, part of the squirrel went right under one of my tires.
I ended up with two wheels right on the edge of the ditch, in the other lane, and facing the opposite direction.
Immediately in front of me, the squirrel flopped around, desperately trying to escape, unaware that it had been disemboweled. I carefully, but quickly, drove over it again to put it out of pain.
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### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128/2 "2005-11-08T23:19:21Z")
A similar incident happened last week (but didn’t involve me personally teetering on the edge of the Abyss.) I walked up to pet the cat we have at work, and noticed that little blue, twitchy [lizard](http://fwie.fw.vt.edu/VHS/Southeastern%20Five-lined%20Skink%20(Eumeces%20inexpectatus).JPG) tail-segments were scattered about near her. Obviously, she’d been having a bit of predatory fun.
Well, cats will be cats. I reached down to pet her, and she got up. Turned out that the lizard had taken refuge under her prone body, and when she stood up, it ran like crazy. The sudden motion starled the cat, who jumped. Her jump startled me, and I twisted around to see where the lizard went, only to accidentally step firmly on it. Squish. Sorry, little buddy.
The whole weird incident lasted probably less than 2 seconds.
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128/3 "2005-11-08T23:25:56Z")
Wow a roadkill and an accidental squishing all within one week. Dang **Ogre** should we be putting out a warning to the animal kingdom to watch out for ya? 😃
Seriously, I’m glad you didn’t get hurt today. That had to be damn scary.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2005, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128/4 "2005-11-09T01:00:54Z")
You give that same tired explanation everytime you disembowel and run over a squirrel. I can see it happening once, maybe even twice, but three times a week for six years? Admit it Ogre, you have a problem.
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### Author:  [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128/5 "2005-11-09T01:45:45Z")
I’m glad it wasn’t you too.
Sucks to have been that lizard, but how much is that cat 'nippin to not realize there’s real live squirmy prey under it?
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### Author:  [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128/6 "2005-11-09T19:04:05Z")
> [@](#):
>
> but my new trajectory took me directly toward a steep ditch
You have a new Trajectory? Mega cool! I looked at some of those at the dealer and they are _sharp_! Unfortunately, I can’t afford a new one, and the pre-owned Trajectories just don’t have the same pizzazz. Bummer.
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### Author:  [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128/7 "2005-11-09T19:15:56Z")
My office building is one story with an inner courtyard that has been decorated with lovely river rocks and slate, thus making it [anole](http://www.blackwellpublishing.com/ridley/image_gallery/Anole_lizard.asp) heaven. Their numbers are legion. Unfortunately, their collective brain cells are not. They have a tendancy to dart directly underfoot when in flight mode. At least I can say with pretty much 99% certainty that their deaths are instantaneous. 😛😛
Glad you are okay, **ogre**
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### Author:  [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)
#### Post date: [November 9, 2005, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128/8 "2005-11-09T23:42:14Z")
I was not aware that you could “bop” to Black Sabbath. I think that was the root of all the trouble.
I’m glad you weren’t hurt.
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### Author:  [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)
#### Post date: [November 10, 2005, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fate-had-decreed-that-something-was-dying-im-just-glad-it-wasnt-me/330128/9 "2005-11-10T13:59:25Z")
> [@Sampiro](#):
>
> You give that same tired explanation everytime you disembowel and run over a squirrel. I can see it happening once, maybe even twice, but three times a week for six years? Admit it Ogre, you have a problem.
_cough_ Crush fetishist _cough_