I dunno. Mom didn’t want anything to do with him…
Well, show me any evidence the mom knew dad was a druggie pedophile, and I’ll agree with you.
Just because someone doesn’t suit you as a partner doesn’t mean they’re automatically an unfit parent, otherwise there’d be a whole lot fewer joint custody agreements in divorce. We don’t even know why they separated - maybe he didn’t want to be a dad and only recently agreed to see his daughter.
No evidence, just the feeling that she could have his child, then not want anything to do with him for 12 years, and be clueless.
I want my youngest son to have some sort of idea and half assed relationship with his bio-dad. I let him see bio-dad for short visits, usually on Sundays. You could not pay me to have a friendly relationship that goes any further than pleasantries at pick up and drop off, and the obvious “no bad mouthing the ex” rule.
It would still be completely out of the blue to me, and a complete surprise, should I ever find out he was into child porn or any kind of predator.
I know for a fact that my ex’s screwy ideas about raising children are completely screwing up his step kids but I do everything I can to support my kids to having a relationship with them. I also spent a lot of time teaching them to protect themselves from him and his views of the world though.
It hasn’t always been pretty but based on this story we’ve been pretty lucky. Ex only tried to screw with the kids financially and by teaching them stupidity. There were a few rough years when I wished I had taken them far far away from him but in the long run they learned a lot about life. Probably too young but the alternative isn’t pretty either. Luckily my skill at choosing men got better later in live so they had a much better role model around to counteract the effect.
OK, I withdraw my feelings about mom. I just have a very tough time interacting with scum like the dad and not getting a vibe.
Although I don’t have kids personally, I can understand the bind parents are in, when they think the ex is a looser, but still encourage the children to spend time and get to know the ex.
If done right, the children can and will find out for themselves that the ex is a looser; or will discover his good sides and his bad, which is an important part of growing up *.
The alternative of keeping the kid away from the bad influence of the ex** and “bad-mouthing the ex” by trying to tell the kids why s/he is such a jerk you want to protect them from him/her, ends up worse in the long run: the children will start to idolize the missing parent - as they do with dead, unknown or absent parents; they will start to think “My dad would never treat me like that, he would treat me like a princess!” whenever you give them room arrest or tell them to wash dishes; and once they become rebellious teens, they might start searching for that wonderful parent-in-the-sky by running away.
Also, people change. The deadbeat looser at 20 who wasn’t able to handle the responsibility of a baby might have cleaned up his act and his life 10 years later and want to become a good dad now, so he should have a chance.
- There’s an old saying: You are no longer a child when you discover that your parents are human, not gods.
You have become an adult when you can forgive them that.
** Unless the ex is real criminal, kiddie diddler or the like - and even then, once he’s in prison and might change, with visits supervised, it should be attempted at least.
You have no idea how many scumbags you’ve interacted with and not gotten a scumbag vibe from. None of us do.
Quote for truth.
Point in case: A very popular, very professional, up-n-coming Nuclear-trained Electrician’s Mate I once served with. Everyone liked him, respected him, thought he was a great farther and a helluva stand-up guy.
Then his wife discovered him diddling his daughter.
Not one of us knew. Not one us, including his wife, suspected. Zero warning signs, zero indicators - just out of the blue one day, she came home from work early when he was on leave, and Surprize! :eek: :mad:
No matter how good your ‘scumdar’ is, there are more scum out there than you’ll ever guess. Scum are good at hiding, because the consequences of getting caught are so high. They’re highly motivated to stay hidden, and generally, I suspect, only the dumber ones get busted, unless random chance intervenes (as in the case of my former shipmate and current Federal prisoner).
It’s Darwinism, with the most successful scum carrying on for decades and longer.
This is bullshit. The 2002 SCOTUS ruling was about completely virtual images.
Technically, almsot all pornography is digitally edited in some way. And no one’s boobs are that perfect.
I’m going to venture a guess that taking a picture of a child posing in a lewd manner is against the law. But sexually exploiting her and violating her privacy isn’t?
Fucking A. Cali is a weird place when it comes to law.
nm
For all we know, the guy copied her picture out of a school yearbook and pasted it over pics of porn actress that he got off the web. That is just too fat a stretch IMO to call it child pornography and slap someone into prison for it.
And how exactly did he violate her privacy? The pictures were taken from his computer. I haven’t seen any claims that he posted them online. Did I miss that somehow?
Wasn’t there a case (around a decade ago) where a man was convicted for writing pedophiliac fantasies in his diary?
IIRC he was a young guy who was charged and convicted for actually abusing a child. He was out on probation, and as part of that, the authorities (or his counsellor) has access to his journal. When they found the journal entries, they recharged him and put him away for longer.
I am typing this all pre-morning coffee, so forgive me if I have any of the details wrong.
Fuckin’ A. She should totally get him a tie with a really horrible pattern that he can’t exchange…
OK. I laughed.
wow…just…yeah. I can think of creepier things, but they would require slight tweaks to the fabric of reality…or rule books, d20, a blow up doll and a good imagination.
I believe, from memory, he violated his parole as a result, rather than was convicted. The two have very different standards. I don’t believe there was second criminal charge involved.
OK, thanks for the clarification.
It was pre-morning coffee and I didn’t really want to reread all the gory details had I tried to Google the original incident.
The story in the OP was more than enough WTF?! eeewww… for first thing in the morning.
I forgot to mention that in my original message. The very first thing I typed should have been WTF?! Eeewww!