# "Father's outrage over pornographic candy wrappers" - and it's not The Onion **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 27, 2009, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896 "2009-08-27T12:07:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/41 "2009-08-27T19:04:08Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > I think you mean: > > Diana death due to immigrant NHS workers: what will it mean for YOUR house price? Or even better “Diana death due to immigrant NHS workers: what will it mean for YOUR house price? Hurrah for the Blackshirts” ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/42 "2009-08-27T19:10:35Z")
The clincher is in the ingredient list, which includes KY jelly. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/43 "2009-08-27T20:13:28Z")
[These don’t come in lime nor lemon-lime](http://www.aumarche.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=store.prodDetail&prodID=662). That ain’t no lime, that’s a green weebl. [Here’s the little guy on a skateboard (sorta)](http://www.mysupermarket.co.uk/Images/ExternalImages/ProductsDetailed/25/017025.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/44 "2009-08-27T20:14:15Z")
Am I the only one who really dislikes that lime? He’s just got so much attitude. ---
**Author:** ![Dublin11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dublin11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dublin11)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/45 "2009-08-27T21:26:42Z")
Mr Simpkins has done a fine job of ripping off The Daily Mail and advertising Haribo at the same time. The article mentions that Mr Simpkins lives in Pontefract. Take a wild guess which town in Yorkshire has a dedicated Haribo sweet shop. Can you guess? I bet you can. 😃 Calling any Pontefract Dopers - why not pop in there and ask to speak to Mr Simpkins? Tell him to sign up on here. We need men like him. ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/46 "2009-08-27T21:37:23Z")
What’s he complaining about? Those cherries are hot… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/47 "2009-08-28T03:25:31Z")
How does one pronounce “maoam?” ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/48 "2009-08-28T03:31:16Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > [These don’t come in lime nor lemon-lime](http://www.aumarche.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=store.prodDetail&prodID=662). That ain’t no lime, that’s a green weebl. [Here’s the little guy on a skateboard (sorta)](http://www.mysupermarket.co.uk/Images/ExternalImages/ProductsDetailed/25/017025.jpg). My god, you’re right! For some reason, that makes it even more disturbing to me. I mean, fruit-on-fruit action is one thing, but that’s just a little fruit-fucking _dude_! I mean, he doesn’t tell you anything about the flavor or the product. He’s just there to fuck! And did you notice that on the one wrapper where he’s not fucking, he’s wearing clothes? What kind of company chooses a fruit-fucker as its mascot? That’s worse than [the Noid](http://www.tvacres.com/admascots_noid.htm)! ---
**Author:** ![FalconFinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@FalconFinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FalconFinder)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/49 "2009-08-28T03:54:06Z")
The article had me laughing so hard I was crying. Then I read the rest of the thread. Thanks. I needed that laugh! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/50 "2009-08-28T03:56:17Z")
That’s some good fucking candy! ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/51 "2009-08-28T05:04:18Z")
> [@Rayne\_Man](#): > > Or even better “Diana death due to immigrant NHS workers: what will it mean for YOUR house price? Hurrah for the Blackshirts” [Daily Mail-o-matic](http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/) COULD FERAL CHILDREN DEFRAUD YOUR PETS? WILL THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT RUIN YOUR MORTGAGE? ARE LESBIANS STEALING THE IDENTITY OF HOMEOWNERS? COULD THE INTERNET GIVE BRITAIN’S FARMERS SWINE FLU? ARE THE FRENCH INFECTING PENSIONERS WITH AIDS? HAS BINGE DRINKING HAD SEX WITH THE MEMORY OF DIANA? Hours of entertainment… I particularly like the description line: “I was going to give the generator a sophisticated grammar for more varied sentences, until I realised the Mail’s grammar is nearly always the same.” ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/52 "2009-08-28T05:52:25Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > The best part is the captions! Be sure to read this in Eric Idle’s voice: > > **Fruity: According to Mr. Simpkins, the lime has a ‘particularly lurid’ expression on its face during its encounter with a lemon** > > followed by > > **Debauched: The lime enjoys a similar experience with a willing pair of cherries** > > God save the Queen! You really can not trust that evil produce. 🙂 [http://www.webguys.com/pdavis/karate/fresh\_fruit.html](http://www.webguys.com/pdavis/karate/fresh_fruit.html) > [@](#): > > _**General (John Cleese)**_: Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I’ll tell you something my lad. When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me! Now, the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit… > > _ **All** _: [With sulkiness] We done the passion fruit. ---
**Author:** ![Neverending\_Elbow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e274bd/32.png) [@Neverending\_Elbow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neverending_Elbow)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/53 "2009-08-28T09:03:42Z")
I love those wrappers. I always get a wee immature chuckle out of seeing them on shop shelves and I’ve been pointing them out to friends whenever the opportunity presented itself. That being said, I don’t think that at a young age I would have been able to take anything “indecent” away from those pictures, and if I have, then my parents should not have worried about the actual sweet-wrappers depraving me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/54 "2009-08-28T12:39:21Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > How does one pronounce “maoam?” This video: [MAOAM](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXBeo8ZWNE0) demonstrates how to correctly pronounce MAOM. Haribo is indeed German. Haribo stands for “ **Ha** ns **Ri** egel **Bo** nn”, so it combines the name of the founder and the city it is based in. The company is still one of the largest employers in Bonn. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/55 "2009-08-28T12:55:49Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > I think it’s pretty clear that they did that on purpose. So, how many other people think those images are actually supposed to be sexual? ---
**Author:** ![JoseArcadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc348/32.png) [@JoseArcadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseArcadio)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/56 "2009-08-28T12:56:12Z")
That “lime” is a pear. I still would, though. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/57 "2009-08-28T13:13:26Z")
Orange you glad you opened this thread? I like the wrappers. **In one, the pear is actually putting on a condom** , but I read that the manufacturer claims this is just to convey how juicy pears can be. I **n another series of wrappers, the cherries are using home pregnancy tests** , but the manufacturer claims this is just to convey how you’ll feel if you eat too much candy. I mean, come one… those are all totally legitimate reasons to have the wrappers designed like that. ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/58 "2009-08-28T13:13:32Z")
Seriously, that lime is fucking that lemon and there is some cherrylingus going on. It was the first last and only thing I thought of. If I were a thirteen year old boy I would buy it for that reason alone. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/59 "2009-08-28T13:16:30Z")
> [@fruitbat](#): > > Seriously, that lime is fucking that lemon and there is some cherrylingus going on. It was the first last and only thing I thought of. If I were a thirteen year old boy I would buy it for that reason alone. If all thirteen year old boys are like I was at that age, they will see sex in anything, not just cartoon pictures of fruit. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2009, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896/60 "2009-08-28T15:10:36Z")
But with the grape wrapper and the orange wrapper, it’s much more benign. It makes it all look like he’s playing with the fruits like they’re all pets - just rolling around on the floor, play wrestling, licking… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fathers-outrage-over-pornographic-candy-wrappers-and-its-not-the-onion/507896.md?page=4)