# fauxpas, I'm trying to help.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [December 28, 2002, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345 "2002-12-28T11:04:10Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 9

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**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/161 "2002-12-31T02:40:05Z")

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fauxpas: You do know that you have to pass English to graduate from high school? That includes punctuation and spelling. If you know “11th’s grades work”, it sure doesn’t include English, because it looks to me like you could use some remedial grade 7 language arts. At least, I think that’s the grade where they teach you how to punctuate and parse sentences. It’s been a while.

I don’t mean to slam you too hard - I’d rather see a young person reach for too much than not reach at all. But really… A little humility is important here, along with a little reality. Unless you’re a wonder-child who’s already skipped a few grades and who gets straight A’s in school, you’re going to be finishing in grade 12 along with the rest of your friends. There actually is quite a lot to learn in high school, believe it or not.

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**Author:** ![fauxpas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e480ec/32.png) [@fauxpas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fauxpas)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/162 "2002-12-31T07:17:49Z")

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What if I already know 9th grades work? Yeah, I have staight A’s, but its not something I’m proud of…and I understand how to parse and the whole BOYFANS thing and FCR _squared_

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**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/163 "2002-12-31T07:22:03Z")

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…you just don’t like to show it off, eh?

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**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/164 "2002-12-31T08:13:34Z")

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What you _really_ need hammered into your head, **fauxpas** , is that you do **not** know everything. Just knowing the basic definition of something does not make you an expert. Take my comment about Ethernet from the first page, for example. You responded:

> [@](#):
>
> I’m not everyone, I’m myself, well yeah of course I know what Ethernet is, I am not stupid!

You do? Then why doesn’t your post reflect that? Indeed, what does your post even mean? I’ve read it over several times and I still can’t make heads or tails of it.

Then we could examine this gem from your GQ thread in which you solicit advice on programming:

> [@](#):
>
> um…Derleth, where do I find this Linux program\> Would it interfere with my Windows '98?

I know many people who could hardly be called computer whizzes that would laugh out loud at that statement.

> [@](#):
>
> Well, I know what Linux is(and that Unix is the owner of it) the thing is I was finding a FREE and legal way of owning a copy of it. You said KazAa?

In the same thread, three days later, you posted that. Quite frankly, it made my jaw drop open in amazement. Anyone who had spent ten minutes reading about Linux would not only know that Unix is not a company and does not own Linux, but would also understand that Linux is not a single entity. There are dozens of free distributions out there for the taking, and available from web sites.

Also in that thread, **auliya** spoke of her nine-year-old son, who read computer manuals like they were Hardy Boys books.

Your not-quite-so-humble response was:

> [@](#):
>
> _cries_ Your son reminds me a lot… a lot…of me… You are truly blessed. I read the books as well as if they were Sesame Street. Now at 13 (almost 14 on Sunday) I continue the trilogy or should I say a 6.13th of the approximate time people believe to live, I continue my subtle ways. Lingering here and then dinning one’s own self reflections of life. **Ahh…then again I view your son’s lifestyle and I smile with pride of my own accomplishments. Bliss…sheer bliss.** As I’ve said before you have been wonderfully blessed.

(Bolding mine, for emphasis, because it’s hard to make sense of most of that post.)

I would think that someone who read computer manuals “as if they were Sesame Street” would at least have an inkling as to what Linux is.

You’re coming off as a pompous, know-nothing ass. It’s clear that you need high school far more than you think you do. Your attitude won’t get you very far in college or in the real world.

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**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/165 "2002-12-31T14:01:56Z")

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fauxpas - You now have the opportunity to say something profound. Something that would shock all your naysayers.  
A bit of prose that will redeem yourself. If you know what I mean.

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**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/166 "2002-12-31T17:10:12Z")

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Never happen.

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**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/167 "2002-12-31T17:37:56Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> I continue the trilogy or should I say a 6.13th of the approximate time people believe to live, I continue my subtle ways.

What the fuck is this supposed to mean? I don’t think I could intentionally make up anything less understandable than this sentence. I pray my daughter doesn’t have whatever disorder or disease you have fau.

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**Author:** ![jmizzou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@jmizzou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmizzou)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/168 "2002-12-31T18:49:26Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Orignally posted by fauxpas:_  
> I read the books as well as if they were Sesame Street.

Ooh! Ooh! I get it! He just smiles and looks at the pretty pictures!

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**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/169 "2002-12-31T18:59:23Z")

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Today’s book was brought to you by the terms POLYMORPHISM and BIG O NOTATION and the phrase WEB PORTAL.

sheesh

> [@](#):
>
> I continue the trilogy or should I say a 6.13th of the approximate time people believe to live, I continue my subtle ways.

I think the young lad is saying either that he is one third through his life, or 1/6.13 of the way through… given how long people believe to live… which can only mean that as I reach either 42, or 85.4 I will cease to believe I live…

In your subtle ways, do continue, young fauxpas. A more apt name could not have been chosen for you.

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**Author:** ![d12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/71c47a/32.png) [@d12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d12)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/170 "2002-12-31T19:45:37Z")

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Fellow Dopers, please excuse me. I need to vent right now. I’m having a few troubles in life at the time being and after reading the shit Fauxpas writes only adds to it.

Fauxpas, you are REALLY abusing your gift of being able to post on the boards. This is NOT a chat room. I’m a teenager as well, and I don’t feel like having MY posting privillages revoked privileges because a fucking idiot like yourself has to ruin it for ALL of us.

You say you’re somewhat like Fauxpass is? You’re not.

1. He isn’t a teen (I hope not, I’m pretty bad at this guessing ;))
2. His posts make sense.
3. He’s got MUCH more credibility than you do.

Fauxpas, when you joined the SDMB, what were you looking for? Friends? People to talk to? Go to an AOL chat room. The difference between the places is this isn’t an a/s/l wanna cyber with a hot teen lolz hahhehehe?!!?!  
No, this is a place with culture. I post here because these people are smart, they can help me with questions that I have. Great Debates is a forum that I can exercise my debating skills for upcomming tournaments, MPSIMS is a place I can share stuff I need to, for no reason at all. One day, I open up GQ and about a million posts by Fauxpas show up? What the hell is up with that? I open one, and all I see is nonsense. Now I know what you’re saying… Prove it! Well if I was like you, I would say, if you don’t believe me then you look it up! No, here on the SDMB, if we have a point, WE prove it. So here we go.

You say:

> [@](#):
>
> No they’re Buhdidst(forgive me for the spelling of that word)

then:

> [@](#):
>
> but if you havent noticed we are on the internet if I was going to type correctly, I would have.

Well then why the fuck don’t you? Do us all a favour, make some sense.

The thread was about _Chop Suey_ by System of a Down. You said they’re Armenian. Derleth says

> [@](#):
>
> GQ isn’t the place for `intelligence tests' or `quizzes’ or games in general.

So now we’re not in GQ, here’s a quiz for you. Where in the world is Armenia? Well any other Doper would go to a reputable site, say… The CIA factbook. You on the other hand would answer this: Duh wellz if tha Digipen’ll like accept me i can not us esuch knowlage and if you think i dunno then ure wrong! Aremenia is south of Australia.  
Unless Continental drift moved Southwestern Asia below Hobart, you my friend are wrong. Somehow in your tiny mind, you think otherwise. So you say to someone who proves you wrong and even bothers to list the sites “I am right. If you don’t believe me, go look it up on the internet.”  
Well little kid, we did. We didn’t find anything, but we looked it up. “Oh, I guess the server must be down” you say. All I say is, Make some sense or make your way to the door.

Thank you, that is all.  
P.S. Tripler, I could’ve sworn I saw a picture of you as a teenager somewhere. Maybe it’s just the drugs. :smack:

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**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/171 "2002-12-31T20:08:06Z")

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**d12** , no-one is going to set an age limit for posters because of a few idiots. You seem like a “nice kid” (jeez, do I sound 35 or what? 😃 ) and although I’m not familiar with your posts I love this one.

You seem to be here with the right mindset, and one which many of us share regardless of our age- listen, learn, share, laugh, vent, explore, debate, grow.

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**Author:** ![d12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/71c47a/32.png) [@d12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d12)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/172 "2002-12-31T20:12:30Z")

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I agree, I doubt anyone would take the great lengths as to prevent Teens from posting here, but I hate it when adults view us teens as hoodlums, stupid idiots, or k1d5 \'h0 5p34k 1337. I’m glad you liked the post.

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**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2002, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/173 "2002-12-31T22:22:09Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by d12 \*  
> \*\*I agree, I doubt anyone would take the great lengths as to prevent Teens from posting here, but I hate it when adults view us teens as hoodlums, stupid idiots, or k1d5 \'h0 5p34k 1337. I’m glad you liked the post. \*\*

Exactly! There was a thread by **Rexdart** a few days ago about how some thoughtless teenage girl had bugged him through a movie. This brought on legions of posts about how all teenagers are dimwits. So I’m over there defending teens while **fauxpas** is running around living up to the stereotype.

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**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\
**Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/174 "2003-01-01T00:58:24Z")

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I’m sorry, but what the hell does “1337” mean?

**fauxpas** , everytime you post, it’s like one of Charlie Brown’s teachers talking: just a vague and unintelligible buzzing noise.

Maybe you’re just not ready for the SDMB. You can barely form a coherent sentence, your grammar is appallingly bad, and you have absolutely nothing to say. I have less trouble understanding people who learned to speak English from the _Police Academy_ movies.

You claim to have many adult friends with whom you “discuss frank discussions”. About what? Do these friends of yours speak English? Can other people see them? Or do they just live in your tiny, underdeveloped head?

Look, I understand you’re only 13, or 14, or some such barely-more-than-fetal-tissue age. That’s great, and I’m happy you’re trying to explore your world. But I don’t think you’re ready to sit at the grown-ups’ table just yet. Maybe you should go find yourself a more suitable place to play.

Like traffic.

No, no, I joke, I joke. Really. But perhaps a more-your-speed message board is in order, or some aol teen chat room, where you will not be expected to possess any intelligent or original thoughts, nor express yourself in a manner comprehensible to other humans.

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**Author:** ![censored](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/35a633/32.png) [@censored](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/censored)\
**Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/175 "2003-01-01T01:07:40Z")

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1337 is a shortened version of 31337, which ‘translated’ into letters (3 = e, 1 = l, 7 = t) turns out to be eleet, which is just a phonetically spelled ‘elite’. This is “hacker-speak.”

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**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\
**Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/176 "2003-01-01T01:12:19Z")

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hacker-speak[ers] nd text-speak[ers] shd b rndd p nd ht wth bg stks tl thy bld!

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**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\
**Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/177 "2003-01-01T01:43:31Z")

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So many of the people here seem to be saying “So he’s barely literate, exaggerates to the point of lying, has a high opinion of himself for no good reason, contributes nothing and comes off as a complete ass - give him a break! He’s just a teenager.”

**d12’s** post proves that you can be a teenager and still be pleasant company and contribute to this message board. No matter what his age, **fauxpas** is just an asshole and a dimwit. I’ve seen no evidence that he’s smarter than your average 13 year old, but I’ve seen plenty that he’s a arrogant moron. Flattering him by telling him he’s above average just because he’s capable of logging into this website merely feeds an ego that needs no fuel. If he was half as smart as you give him credit for, he’d stop insulting our collective intelligence with his bullshit.

None of the things that make **fauxpas** annoying can be excused by his age.

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**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\
**Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/178 "2003-01-01T01:46:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ratty \*  
> **I have less trouble understanding people who learned to speak English from the _Police Academy_ movies.**

To be fair, a lot of them are college educated.

“If a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump it’s ass when it hops.”

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**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\
**Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/179 "2003-01-01T03:14:06Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Flymaster \*  
> \*\*To be fair, a lot of them are college educated.
> 
> “If a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump it’s ass when it hops.” \*\*

Your cookie is in the mail. 😃

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**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\
**Post date:** [January 1, 2003, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fauxpas-im-trying-to-help/145345/180 "2003-01-01T05:24:04Z")

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Though I enjoy reading all this bashing, don’t you all think this thread has run its course? How many more people can tell fau he sucks and that he can’t read or type? I can’t believe a newb has been able to sustain a pit thread for this long after having only been here a week or so.

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