I think you wanted to say BRIAN BLESSED
“Your brain is so small it would make a grain of sand appear large and ungainly. You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would, and the part of you that can’t be mentioned, I am reliably informed by the ladies of the court, wouldn’t be worth mentioning if it could be mentioned.”
Ludwig: Yes! I was one of his sheep.
Melchett: One of his sheep? Not…?
Ludwig: Yes!
Melchett: Flossy?
Ludwig: Yes!
Melchett: But didn’t we…?
Ludwig: Yes, Lord Melchett! BBBAAAAA!
There’s nothing in the world, like a sheep-fucking joke. 
This is one of my favorite lines from anything anywhere ever.
“better a lap-dog to a slip of a girl than a…git!”
Also, any variation of “bob!”
Here’s something I didn’t realise. That’s Toht from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I’m with beowulff, I can’t pick one as everything about every episode of every series (yes, including the first) is amazing. Third series is my favourite.
“I was under the impression that it’s common maritime practice to have a crew.”
“Opinion is divided on the subject.”
“Really?”
“Yes. All the other captains say it is, I say it isn’t.”
After, through a complex series of events, Baldrick has recieved 400,000 pounds meant for Blackadder:
E: You spent it? What could you possibly spend 400,000 pounds on?
(Baldrick slowly looks toward a giant turnip)
E: Oh, no… Oh, God, don’t tell me…
B: …my Dream Turnip.
E: Baldrick, how did you manage to find a turnip that cost 400,000 pounds?
B: Well, I had to haggle…
Often it really is one line, rather than the whole conversation.
“Percy, it’s green.”
You are to be congratulated, my friend. We live in an age where illness
and deformity are commonplace, and yet Ploppy, you are without a
doubt the most…repulsive individual I’ve ever met. I would shake
your hand, but I fear it would come off.
I know, he looked totally different in Blackadder.
One of the most quoted things in Blackadder for my wife and me is, “You have a woman’s hand!!!”
That was a great bit from the Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker.
From the third season:
Blackadder: Baldrick, I would like to say how much I will miss your honest and friendly companionship.
Baldrick: Ah, thank you, Mr. B.
Blackadder: But as we both know, it would be an utter lie. I will therefore confine myself to saying simply, “Sod off,” and if I ever meet you again, it’ll be twenty billion years too soon.
Also, from the second season:
Blackadder: Thank you, young crone. Here is a purse of monies— which I’m not going to give to you.
Blackadder:Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’m anispeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulation.
“macbeth!”
Found it, pinched it, spent it.
Wicked child! (Thump!)
I see, so what you are saying is that something which you have never seen is slightly less blue than something else, which you have also never seen.
I’m as English as Queen Victoria!
So, your father is a German, you’re half German, and you married a German.
Oh my, too many to include!
BA: “Percy, the devil farts in my face once more.”
G: “Well, Jocko and the Badger bought it at the first Ypres, unfortunately - quite a shock that. I remember Bumfluff’s housemaster wrote and told me that Sticky had been out for a duck and the Gubber had snitched a parcel sausage-end and fone goose-over-stumps frog-side.”
BA: “Meaning?”
G: “I don’t know, sir, but I read in The Times that they’d both been killed.”
BA: “Ask them who they’d prefer to meet - Squadron Commander Flashheart or the man who cleans the public toilets in Aberdeen and they’d go for Wee Jock Poo-Pong McPlop every time.”
This thread is timely, actually, because as it happens my theatre company will be staging Blackadder Goes Forth in its entirely this April/May. Boston-area dopers who are interested can get details here. (I hope the mods don’t mind this little plug, as it is on point to the thread topic).
[First lines]
Blackadder: Baldrick, what are you doing out there?
Baldrick: I’m carving something on this bullet, sir.
Blackadder: What are you carving?
Baldrick: I’m carving “Baldrick”, sir!
Blackadder: Why?
Baldrick: It’s part of a cunning plan, actually!
Blackadder: Of course it is.
Baldrick: You know how they say that somewhere there’s a bullet with your name on it?
Blackadder: [haltingly] Yyyyyyyyes…?
Baldrick: Well, I thought that if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I’ll never get hit by it! Cause I’ll never shoot myself…
Blackadder: Oh, shame!
Baldrick: … and the chances of there being two bullet with my name are very small indeed!
Blackadder: Yes, it’s not the only thing around here that’s “very small indeed”. Your brain, for example. It’s so miniature, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn’t be enough to cover a small water biscuit.
“I think the phrase rhymes with ‘clucking bell’.”
There have been many times in my life when that line was applicable.
I am so there. You wouldn’t happen to need someone to play Capt. Blackadder, would you?