# Favorite Board One-Liners or Exchanges
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 11, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336 "2006-08-11T19:21:43Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/1 "2006-08-11T19:21:43Z")
Probably my single favorite thing about the Boards is how funny people are. Sometimes it seems like too much trouble, or distracting to the thread ,to post just to say “HA!”, but damn, some funny stuff gets said here. So here are a couple recent exchanges that have made me LOL, with posters identified so they can take a bow if they want. Who or what in our demented little crew has made you laugh lately?
From [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=383420&page=2&pp=50).
ANAAMIKA: “Talk to my SO, who has the most American, patriotic name around.”
CERVAISE: “Lincoln McPieflag?”
From [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=383400).
RICKJAY: “Countdown: just 9 days to ‘Snakes On A Plane’”
JTHUNDER: “‘Snakes On A Plane’? What’s it about?”
HA! 🙂
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/2 "2006-08-11T19:26:18Z")
Hee! One of my comments made it in, even though I was only the one setting it up. I’ll come up with some, but I had to say - Cervaise’s comment cracked me up, then cracked my SO up, too.
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### Author:  [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/3 "2006-08-11T19:29:07Z")
> [@Anaamika](#):
>
> Hee! One of my comments made it in, even though I was only the one setting it up.
Everyone says you give great straightline. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2006, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/4 "2006-08-16T13:12:05Z")
OK, I’m reviving this because I just couldn’t let such wittiness pass unnoticed!
In response to Winston Smith’s pledge to return to caveman ways, we get this gem from Smeghead:
> [@Smeghead](#):
>
> I’m still trying to get a group together to get back to the ocean. C’mon, gills!
😃
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2006, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/5 "2006-08-16T20:52:57Z")
🆒
**JThunder** ’s SoaP post also made me pee myself a little.
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### Author:  [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/6 "2006-08-16T21:20:34Z")
I really like the exchange in [How do I keep IE from automatically chenging the text size?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151356).
> [@Cleverman](#):
>
> sailor, Hail Ants, I wasn’t talking to you. What are you, the fucking hall monitors?
> [@manhattan](#):
>
> As it happens, _I_ am the fucking hall monitor.
It has to be one of the best mod responses ever.
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### Author:  [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/7 "2006-08-16T21:22:34Z")
Podkayne, in a thread about stupid things we’d all done recently:
“Somewhere in the dim recesses of my overtaxed brain, a lone synapse bravely sparked.”
[Link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=380272&highlight=synapse)
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2006, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/8 "2006-08-16T21:29:10Z")
**Qadgop** , most likely, in a thread about LOTR, discusses whether Gandalf really had magical skills. “It’s not like the book said ‘And then Gandalf casts a spell.’”
That was nostril-milk worthy.
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### Author:  [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/9 "2006-08-16T22:52:07Z")
The first time I saw the phrase “We’ve secretly replaced [poster x]'s Cheerios with crack cocaine. Let’s see if he notices” made me laugh and giggle and then giggle at random moments throughout the day. It was in response to a particularly random crazy outburst, and the timing was just perfect, and it was the first time I’d seen it on a message board.
I’ve seen it many, many times since, but it’s not been nearly as funny (and sometimes just seems likely desperately reaching for the funny).
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/10 "2006-08-17T00:56:20Z")
“Fucko Off!” is still pretty funny.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/11 "2006-08-17T02:29:05Z")
I thought of two:
In a thread about the ideal funeral, Wild Bill posted he wanted a sign mounted by his corpse, saying, "Gotcha ya!"Typo, of course. But **Eve** caught it.
And one I did but someone else noticed, when I said something like “of course McDonald’s shakes have milk in them. It would be such a scandal if not. It’d be like the French Fries fried in beef fat and the Hindus.”
And someone said, “They fry French Fries in beef fat and Hindus? How do they keep it so cheap?”
Made me laugh.
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### Author:  [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/12 "2006-08-17T02:40:46Z")
I think it’s gone now, but **elucidator** has as many great one-liners----nay, I say he has the most on the board.
I’m searching for the (paraphrasing, perhaps) " If you ain’t had any librarian noggin then you don’t know what you’re missing."
He continually cracks me up.
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### Author:  [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/13 "2006-08-17T03:01:03Z")
Another from **'Luci’s Greatest Hits** :
In the [Florida Pubbies Push Harris Under the Bus!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7647755) thread:
**BrainGlutton** :“From what I know of Harris, it’s shoe that fits like she’s been wearing it five years.”
**elucidator** :“Ruby. Belonged to her sister.”
It took me five minutes to catch my breath.
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### Author:  [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/14 "2006-08-17T03:20:14Z")
> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> 🆒
>
> **JThunder** ’s SoaP post also made me pee myself a little.
🆒 Your patriotic post was darned funny too.
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### Author:  [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/15 "2006-08-17T03:45:56Z")
I still giggle about **Giraffe** ’s exchange with **Hot Buttered Toast** in this thread: [How a dangerous situation was defused by the wonders of toast - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=224544).
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### Author:  [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/16 "2006-08-17T03:56:07Z")
ANAAMIKA, I agree, but EVE’s response to WILDEST BILL’s post is a true board classic that deserve to be reposted. The thread is [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=80870).
WILDEST BILL said “I really don’t want to have a boring funeral like everybody else has. . . . I want the morgue dudes to put me in a cool looking suit and put a big like smile on my face. Then I want them too arrange my hand like a gun so when people lean over and look I’ll be saying ‘Gotcha Ya’.” Catching BILL’s unintended typo, EVE posted:
> [@](#):
>
> I wouldn’t recommend having them make you say “Gotcha ya.” I don’t think it will result in the reaction you want.
>
> Bill’s corpse: “Gotcha ya!”
> Bill’s widow: “WHAT did he say?”
> Friend of Bill: “I think he said ‘Gotcha ya!’”
> Other FOB: “Why the hell would he say that? You think he meant ‘Gotcha?’”
> Bill’s widow: “Hmm. I will have to talk to the funeral home about this. I think I want my money back.”
> Bill’s corpse: “Gotcha ya!”
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/17 "2006-08-17T14:15:13Z")
“What’s your favorite …?” threads belong in **IMHO**.
I’ll move this for you.
**Cajun Man**
for the SDMB
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### Author:  [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/18 "2006-08-17T17:04:14Z")
The triple-play between **cerberus** , **Foldup Rabbit** and **Caught@Work** in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=384369) made me laugh.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/19 "2006-08-17T17:52:37Z")
**Walter Windchill** in the very hot right now BBQ JonBenet Ramsey thread:
> [@](#):
>
> Wait? Does the wealth prove their innocence, or prove their guilt? I’m confused.
Followed up by **PriceGuy**
> [@](#):
>
> Both, of course. Rich people never kill their children, and only rich people get away with killing their children.
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### Author:  [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-board-one-liners-or-exchanges/368336/20 "2006-08-17T18:28:53Z")
I liked **gazpacho’s** assist to **dogbutler’s** response in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7687922#post7687922) to a new poster who seemed like he was looking for serious answers.
> [@Peaceful](#):
>
> What is the biggest problem on SDMB?
> [@dogbutler](#):
>
> Getting the squid to release the goat.
> [@Peaceful](#):
>
> I don’t understand exactly what your mean by this.
> [@gazpacho](#):
>
> Squids they have these tentacles and they hold onto the goats. Your average squid has the brain of a mollusc and does not respond well to verbal commands so you have to get some long stout sticks and pry them off the goats.
> [@Peaceful](#):
>
> In what context does this happen in real life?
> [@gazpacho](#):
>
> Pretty much whenever you have goats and squids together.
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