# Favorite Books that don't really exist? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 5, 2002, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951 "2002-04-05T06:33:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/1 "2002-04-05T06:33:05Z")
If everyone will forgive my posting, this seemed like a promising topic… What are your favorite “fictionaL” books? That is, books that only existed in Movies, TV, literature, etc., and not in real life. I’m personally giving an early vote for the original _Necronomicon_, by Abdul Al-Hazred. 🙂 Ranchoth (Or maybe _Thype_.) ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/2 "2002-04-05T06:59:09Z")
_The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Pre-teens_, prominently featured on _The Simpsons_. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/3 "2002-04-05T07:04:16Z")
_50 ways to leave your lover_ ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/4 "2002-04-05T07:40:05Z")
I have to second the Necronomicon. Other than that, “Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey” by Mable Syrup. (From “Calvin and Hobbes”) ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/5 "2002-04-05T08:55:49Z")
_World Targets in Megadeaths_ a binder held by Geroge C. Scott’s character (whose name I’m drawing a blank on) in Dr. Strangelove. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/6 "2002-04-05T09:12:09Z")
Ranchoth, you stole my idea. _gets down on his knees and remember his lessons from the Chuck Heston school of overacting, begins yelling “DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/7 "2002-04-05T11:12:47Z")
I vote for _How to Cook for Forty Humans_ from the “Hungry Are The Damned” episode of _The Simpsons_. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/8 "2002-04-05T12:27:58Z")
One I’ve been talking about for years is _When Good Things Happen to Bad People_ ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/9 "2002-04-05T12:42:36Z")
_To Serve Man_ **"It’s a cookbook!!!"** ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/10 "2002-04-05T13:01:09Z")
_Working Without a Net_ - the as-yet-unreleased Harlan Ellison auto-biography that Ivanova was reading in the Babylon 5 episode “TKO”. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/11 "2002-04-05T13:19:39Z")
Al Bundy made “Bigguns” famous. ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/12 "2002-04-05T13:20:59Z")
“Stoichiometrics of Oxygen-Carrying Capacity and Diffusion Gradients with Increased Arterial Gas Tensions” From “the Andromeda strain” OK, I had to look it up. Just to spell it. ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/13 "2002-04-05T13:21:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by drayton \* > \*\*_World Targets in Megadeaths_ a binder held by Geroge C. Scott’s character (whose name I’m drawing a blank on) in Dr. Strangelove. \*\* General Buck Turgidson. My vote goes to either “Will There Ever Be a Rainbow” or the J. Peterman story (what was the title?) from Seinfeld – which of course was the life of Kramer. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/14 "2002-04-05T13:36:03Z")
I want to get my hands on an Acme catalog. They sell everything from TNT to railroad ties to huge springs. And they must offer very competitive prices or Wile E. Coyote could never afford to keep shopping there. ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/15 "2002-04-05T13:59:26Z")
The Joye of Snacks by A Lancre Witch… My god, the things I could do if I got my grubby little hands on that book… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/16 "2002-04-05T14:01:48Z")
But, **Punditlisa** , everything he buys from there is defective or backfires on him. I think ACME must be a clearing house for factory reconditoned items, discontinued product lines, rejects, and merchandise from bankrupt retailers. Buyer beware.😃 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/17 "2002-04-05T14:25:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by widdershins \* > \*\*_To Serve Man_ > > **"It’s a cookbook!!!"** \*\* Inspired by the Twilight Zone episode, a man wrote just such a book. ``` "To Serve Man A Cookbook For People" ``` It was written by Karl Wurf and published by Owlswick Press. As I keep a kosher house, I haven’t tried out any of the recipes just yet. Also, I’m gonna need bigger pots-much bigger. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/18 "2002-04-05T14:33:07Z")
Besides the unmentionable, previously mentioned Necronomicon I’d like Unausprechen Kulten The Black Book and The Pnakotic Manuscripts From Other Stuff- Ghostbusters-Tobin’s Spirit Guide Never Ending Story-I want THAT book. The one that has parts about me reading it printed in it. Young Frankenstein-How I Did It You’ll all be happy to know that I’m hard at work on Doc Cathode’s Big Book Of Things Man Was Not Meant To Know. ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/19 "2002-04-05T15:55:05Z")
**the joys of cooking milhouse** ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951/20 "2002-04-05T16:00:58Z")
and also: **love in the time of scurvy** both from the simpsons [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-books-that-dont-really-exist/101951.md?page=2)