# Favorite Bumper Sticker

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [June 27, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649 "2000-06-27T00:30:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![orestes543](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b5e925/32.png) [@orestes543](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orestes543)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/21 "2000-06-27T16:24:42Z")

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I think my favorite bumper sticker would have to be:

“Don’t drink and park. Accidents cause people.”

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**Author:** ![egkelly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/db5fbb/32.png) [@egkelly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/egkelly)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/22 "2000-06-27T16:38:28Z")

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Let Me tell You (About Your Granddaughter)

My Son Is Inmate of the Month at MCI Concord

Warning-I Brake for Trees!

and this one (seen on a 20-year old wreck): THANK YOU PAINE WEBER!

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**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/23 "2000-06-27T17:40:25Z")

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My fave is:

So, you’re a feminist… isn’t that cute.

Honourable mentions:

Sex on television doesn’t hurt unless you fall off.

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

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**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/24 "2000-06-27T17:48:29Z")

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“If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will shoot their kids by mistake”

I’m not particularly anti-gun, but that did make me laugh.

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**Author:** ![ren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@ren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ren)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/25 "2000-06-27T19:06:48Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> ML8-ML8
> 
> At first I couldn’t figure it out. It was clearly a vanity plate, since it wasn’t likely they got that repetition by chance. But what did it Mean? Then it hit me:
> 
> I’m Late – I’m Late
> 
> But that wasn’t the best part. The car this was on was a white Rabbit! I’m glad I figured it out before the light changed and the car drove away.

LOL! That’s awesome… Reminds me of the follwing plate, seen on one of the new VW Beetles:

FEATURE

(I live in Seattle, so it didn’t take me long to “get it”)

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**Author:** ![Cowboy\_Greg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Cowboy\_Greg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowboy_Greg)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/26 "2000-06-27T19:13:13Z")

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My all-time favorite has to be:

“You need to pull over and change the air in your head”

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**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/27 "2000-06-27T19:20:36Z")

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“Do you have change for 25 million people?”

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**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/28 "2000-06-27T19:36:16Z")

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**JESUS SAVES SINNERS**  
and redeems them for valuable prizes

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**Author:** ![ren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@ren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ren)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/29 "2000-06-27T19:45:02Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> JESUS SAVES SINNERS  
> and redeems them for valuable prizes

This reminds me of yet another item.

There was graffiti (sp?) on an overpass in Detroit that read “Free Chairman Gonzalo”. I never did find out what it was referring to. Anyway, it was like that for several months. Then one day someone added “with every purchase”.

I wonder if it’s still there…

* * *

“You’ll win prizes  
if you stay  
'cause that’s how we do it  
In LA” - Lindsey Buckingham

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**Author:** ![DarkHeart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@DarkHeart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkHeart)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/30 "2000-06-27T20:35:21Z")

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This I a very old one but still make me laugh when I think back to it. I was stopped at a rest area on the way back home and pulled up next to a small motor home. The thing was moving back and forth pretty bad. thats when I spotted the bumper sticker.  
" If This Carriage is rockin’ dont’t bother knockin’"

The reason it sticks with me is after I came back to my truck, a guy about 60 years old(looked anyway) came out smilling.

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**Author:** ![Cosmo\_s\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Cosmo\_s\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmo_s_Ghost)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/31 "2000-06-27T21:36:04Z")

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There’s one here now that says “Lick Bush in 2000”.

This is OK, since it’s got a double-whatsit.

But then some people cut it down to just “Lick Bush”.

This is stupid, because it gives away the punch line, so there’s no joke left in realizing it.

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**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/32 "2000-06-27T22:48:16Z")

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“A FEW YEARS OF THERAPY AND YOU’LL BE FINE”

OK maybe I should explain it’s on my mother’s car, she’s a pyschologist, and she had it made up special. I see it as a message of hope for a lot of drivers.

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**Author:** ![Fiona\_Firehair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fiona\_Firehair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiona_Firehair)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/33 "2000-06-27T22:57:57Z")

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My fave will always be,

“Don’t assume I share your prejudices.”

But that one isn’t funny, so, seen on a car with Texas plates:

“Never elect a Son of a Bush.”

'nuff said.

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**Author:** ![Retief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Retief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Retief)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/34 "2000-06-27T23:43:13Z")

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My favourite is also an oldie:  
“When God created man, SHE was only joking”

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**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/35 "2000-06-27T23:58:26Z")

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Not exactly P.C., but pretty funny in a twisted way:

Don’t Blame Me…I Voted For Jefferson Davis!

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**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/36 "2000-06-28T02:45:00Z")

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Ren:

Forgive me, but I’m dense. I don’t get it. “FEATURE” on a VW Beetle? Please explain (and have pity on my soul).

A friend once told me about a Richard Adams /Watership Down fan who had a license plate INLE on a BLACK Rabbit. (See the book if you don’t get it).

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**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/37 "2000-06-28T03:33:30Z")

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I nominate…

“Vote Liberal: Abolish Take-home Pay!”

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**Author:** ![my85car](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ed8c4c/32.png) [@my85car](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/my85car)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/38 "2000-06-28T03:41:01Z")

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Not exactly a bumper snicker, but I saw this on the back of an 18 wheeler one time – “If you have a problem with the way this vehicle is being operated, take it to our main office…80 feet ahead.”

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**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/39 "2000-06-28T07:15:18Z")

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I figured I might explain the Tzimisce one for those who don’t get it… the Tzimisce are a clan of vampires according to White Wolf and they have a discipline called Viscitude which basically enables them to mould flesh like an artist would clay… thusly they could mold someone into a car…

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**Author:** ![Bluemonchichi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@Bluemonchichi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluemonchichi)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-bumper-sticker/23649/40 "2000-06-28T07:45:15Z")

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I have two bumper stickers I really like:

1. Behind every successful woman is a trail of dead men that tried to get in her way.

and

1. Get any closer and I’ll eat you.  
My SO has the second one on the back of his motorcycle helmet. 😃

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