# Favorite "dirty" or novelty song? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 29, 2006, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169 "2006-11-29T03:52:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/21 "2006-11-29T10:48:53Z")
Oh, man. I grew up in \*Fish Heads \* era Dr. Demento, and I have a lot of old favourites. I was a big fan of the punny goodness of Kip Addotta, with lines from songs such as \*Wet Dream \* and \*Life in the Slaw Lane \* still in my ammunition today. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/22 "2006-11-29T11:01:12Z")
“I’m A Wanker” by Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Burglars. “I’ve wanked over Germany” “I’ve wanked over Spain” “I’ve wanked over Italy” “I’ve often had a wank in a plane” About another 4 verses which I forget ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/23 "2006-11-29T11:42:31Z")
John Valby’s version of **Barnicle Bill The Sailor** Is probly my favorite Dirty song. Oscar Brand also does a version, but Valby’s is much dirtier. Red Peters **Come Stains** has all the flavour of a Red Sovine song. It’s only dirty if you think _THAT WAY_ Cheech and Chong’s **Hey Margaret** didn’t get much air-play. Speaking of Oscar Brand… **Seven Old Ladies** is fun. **Piece of Shit Car** by (I don’t know) **America, FUCK YA!** Team World Police. I too grew up in the 70’s, so I listened many Sundays to “The Mighty-Met” and The Good Dr. Almost anything from that era inspires great nostalgia. My latest Holy Grail song is Ted Knight’s **Hi Guy**. I’ve seen the album on ebay but have a hard time justifying getting the album. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/24 "2006-11-29T11:56:51Z")
My favourite dirty song is of course “The Dirty Song” by Bertolt Brech. That’s why it’s called that. For that’s my way. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/25 "2006-11-29T12:13:07Z")
I’ve always been a fan of [**Blow Me**](http://allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=ADFEAEE4781CDF49A97620C8852D1599E620D210DF4BF58150234558C0B73844810473FD0DA4C6CFB8E577B479A9B329AE5A09D9C9EB468DA1&sql=33:fcdfyb3nxpsb) by Red Peters. There used to be a bar near Clearwater, Florida (I think it was in Atlantic Beach) that had a bunch of the songs in this thread on its jukebox. A truly amazing place. Wish I could remember the name of the bar. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/26 "2006-11-29T12:33:35Z")
> [@](#): > > Piece of Shit Car by (I don’t know) Adam Sandler. And the song’s official title is _Ode To My Car_. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/27 "2006-11-29T12:44:50Z")
[QUOTE=Labdad] There used to be a bar near Clearwater, Florida (I think it was in Atlantic Beach) that had a bunch of the songs in this thread on its jukebox. A truly amazing place. Wish I could remember the name of the bar. [/QUOTE] Indian Rocks Beach. Atlantic Beach is on the Atlantic - not the Gulf! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/28 "2006-11-29T13:15:40Z")
All kinds of John Valby’s work is great. Not to listen to if you **don’t** find incredibly foul to also be incredibly funny. As has been mentioned, Tenacious D’s “Fuck Her Gently” is lovely. I also recommend Judge Dredd’s “Up With The Cock.” OH HEY - and the B 52s’ “Monster In My Pants.” (I have a truly ridiculous number of novelty songs without owning a single Dr. Demento CD. Some day I have to give that man some of my money.) ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/29 "2006-11-29T13:26:00Z")
_Song of the Summertime,_ by Ezio Pinza. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/30 "2006-11-29T13:49:15Z")
Ruth Brown’s **If I Can’t Sell It** : > [@](#): > > If I can’t sell it, I’m gonna sit down on it. > I ain’t gonna give it away. > Now darling if you want it, you’re gonna have to buy it. > And I mean just what I say. > Now how would you like to find this waitin at home for you every night. > Only been used once or twice but it’s still nice and TIGHT! > Whoa… So if I can’t sell it, > I’m gonna keep sittin on it. > I ain’t gonna give it away. > Now you can’t find a better pair of legs in town > and a back like this, huh, not for miles around. It’s about a chair, you perverts! ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/31 "2006-11-29T14:02:59Z")
[QUOTE=Hamadryad] OH HEY - and the B 52s’ “Monster In My Pants.” [/QUOTE] Was that technically by the B-52s or just Fred Schneider? ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/32 "2006-11-29T14:03:05Z")
“A Lapdance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Cryin’” by the Bloodhound Gang. Any song that starts “I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert…” is probably going to take you someplace you don’t want to be. ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/33 "2006-11-29T14:09:38Z")
Liz Phair’s “Flower” is absolutely filthy and I love it. She gets bonus points for singing it in a cute little-girl voice. “I want to f\*\*\* you like a dog I’ll take you home and make you like it.” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/34 "2006-11-29T14:29:08Z")
We used to trick freshmen DJs in college by requesting they play Harry Nilsson’s “You’re Breaking My Heart”: > [@](#): > > You’re breaking my heart. > You’re tearing me apart > So fuck you. For more subtle sexual innuendo, there’s always “Chestnut Mare” by the Byrds. No, it’s not about a horse. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/35 "2006-11-29T14:40:49Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] Was that technically by the B-52s or just Fred Schneider? [/QUOTE] I think it may have been a Fred Schneider release, come to think of it; I’m not sure. The B-52 girls definitely sing on it, though. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/36 "2006-11-29T15:16:46Z")
**The Pussycat Song** \*…my neighbor stole my kitty cat away from me i told my neighbor set my pussycat free FREE pussy sore wet hot tight bald free pussy just a friendly little cat [friendly little cat] [meow]\* ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/37 "2006-11-29T16:02:59Z")
[QUOTE=fishbicycle] P.S.: in square dancing, the call is “allemande left, allemande right.” [/QUOTE] Yeah, it was a cut and paste from a website; although, come to think of it, ‘allemande’ probably comes from the French “a la main” (with ‘main’ pronounced ‘man’), literally ‘to the hand’. So ‘a la main left’ would be ‘to the left hand’. Perhaps the phrase in America came from New Orleans patois? Back to songs. I love the video of “What Would Brian Boitano Do?”. Don’t know the group, but it’s hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/38 "2006-11-29T16:03:11Z")
[QUOTE=brownie55] “A Lapdance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Cryin’” by the Bloodhound Gang. Any song that starts “I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert…” is probably going to take you someplace you don’t want to be. [/QUOTE] “You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?” The Bloodhound Gang is hilarious. “Hell Yeah” and “Take the Long Way Home” have always been my favorite tracks. “If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V. Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea” “If life were picture perfect you could frame it But the world is a diaper so let someone else change it” “Life is like a penis most people don’t know it But most people suck so they usually blow it” And in the pure gross-out vein, I like “Code Blue” by TSOL: “I never got along with the girls at my school Filling me up with all their morals and their rules They’d pile all their problems on my head I’d rather go out and fuck the dead 'Cause I can do what I want and they won’t complain I wanna fuck I wanna fuck the dead” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/39 "2006-11-29T16:20:45Z")
[QUOTE=The Chao Goes Mu] **The Pussycat Song** \*…my neighbor stole my kitty cat away from me i told my neighbor set my pussycat free FREE pussy sore wet hot tight bald free pussy just a friendly little cat [friendly little cat] [meow]\* [/QUOTE] Yep. **Chefguy** , this was on the jukebox at _The Birdhouse_ before it burned down. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169/40 "2006-11-29T18:00:15Z")
[QUOTE=Garfield226] I enjoy pretty much anything by Tom Lehrer, which is something, since most of his stuff is pretty dated and I wasn’t alive when he was performing. [/QUOTE] I almost hurt myself laughing at one about the Pope and rosaries and something…? My friend had some records from probably the 70s or 80s. Very funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-dirty-or-novelty-song/382169.md?page=3)