# Favorite fake product names? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 3, 2021, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158 "2021-02-03T19:57:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/41 "2021-02-04T15:32:45Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > In the 70 before generics became popular (BEER), and before [art departments got really creative](https://insidethecask.com/2019/08/20/do-you-recognise-these-fictional-drinks-brands-from-hollywood-films-and-tv/), a lot of TV shows used a fake beer can that looked similar to a Budweiser but just said “beer”. I spotted them in both red and blue. My favorites from that page: Cerveza Fresca (Fresh Beer) Cerveza Claro (Clear Beer) Cerveza Chango (Monkey Beer) > [@RivkahChaya](#): > > From _L’il Abner_ : Kickapoo Joy Juice. > > I think someone may have actually tried marketing a product called that once. but the comic came first. Yes, and it’s [still in production](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kickapoo_Joy_Juice) > Kickapoo Joy Juice’s early [advertising campaign](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advertising_campaign) was very similar to [Mountain Dew](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Dew)’s of the time – using characters from _Li’l Abner_ to create and market a [hillbilly](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillbilly) feeling.[[13]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kickapoo_Joy_Juice#cite_note-hollis-13) Although the product is distributed largely in [Asian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asia) markets (Singapore, Malaysia, Brunei, Cambodia and Bangladesh), the can still comes decorated with a vintage _Li’l Abner_ drawing.[[14]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kickapoo_Joy_Juice#cite_note-14) ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/42 "2021-02-04T16:27:51Z")
Years ago, the National Lampoon produced a parody of a Sunday newspaper: the “Dacron Republican-Democrat.” (Its motto was “One of America’s Newspapers”) There was a full color advertising insert for Swill Mart, whose store brand was Nonamo. (No name-O” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/43 "2021-02-04T16:31:07Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Acme (from the Roadrunner cartoons) made many fine products, like the Jet-Powered Pogo Stick, Triple-Strength Fortified Leg Muscle Vitamins, the Giant Rubber Band, and Earthquake Pills (why wait, create your own earthquake!). This confused the heck out of me as a kid. Acme was the name of the supermarket we had right downtown (not to mention one of the two anchors of the circa 1960 shopping mall nearby). Yet Acme market never sold any of the cool stuff like Volcano Pills or Rocket-Powered Roller Skates. Apparently they’re still around, but not in the two locations near where I grew up > **[Acme Markets](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acme_Markets)** > > Acme Markets Inc. (stylized as ACME Markets) is a supermarket chain operating 161 stores throughout Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, New Jersey, the Hudson Valley of New York, and Pennsylvania and, as of 1999, is a subsidiary of Albertsons, and part of its presence in the Northeast. It is headquartered in East Whiteland Township, Pennsylvania, near Malvern, a Philadelphia suburb. > Acme Markets has 162 supermarkets in Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Maryland. > Aft... Acme products, by the way, were being used in Warner Brothers cartoons long before Chuck Jones created his Roadrunner cartoon series. There are entire websites listing the products and which cartoons they appeared in [http://acme.com/catalog/acme.html](http://acme.com/catalog/acme.html) > **[List of ACME Products](https://looneytunes.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_ACME_Products)** > > The following is a list of products from ACME that were used in the Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons, as well as in Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, The Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries, Taz-Mania, Duck Dodgers, The... > **[Acme Products - TV Tropes](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AcmeProducts)** > > Your one-stop shop for a variety of products which may or may not function exactly as advertised. Renowned for express shipping that has FedEx drooling in jealousy. For this wiki's purposes, an Acme Corporation is any generic corporation that … ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Incognito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guy_incognito/32/3920_2.png) [@Guy\_Incognito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incognito)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/44 "2021-02-04T16:37:22Z")
From the Simpsons: “Cheezus H Rice” and “Tubbb!” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/45 "2021-02-04T16:44:20Z")
> [@Labdad](#): > > Years ago, the National Lampoon produced a parody of a Sunday newspaper: the “Dacron Republican-Democrat.” Yeah, that’s where the Food Clown ads I linked to in my post were from. Priceless stuff, I still have my original copy. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/46 "2021-02-04T16:47:52Z")
Port-O-Dump ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/47 "2021-02-04T16:48:36Z")
Don’t forget Fashion Log for girls! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/48 "2021-02-04T16:49:07Z")
> [@Labdad](#): > > Years ago, the National Lampoon produced a parody of a Sunday newspaper: the “Dacron Republican-Democrat.” (Its motto was “One of America’s Newspapers”) > > There was a full color advertising insert for Swill Mart… Written and illustrated by THE Bruce McCall… and I still love that under the Swill Mart name was the tagline: _ **“Where Quality Is A Slogan!”** _ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/49 "2021-02-04T16:57:37Z")
Loosener’s Castor Oil Flakes. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/50 "2021-02-04T17:14:54Z")
_Futurama_ is full of great fake products, the best part of which are usually the slogans: **Big Pink Gum** : “Breath as fresh as a summer ham.” **Stop-and-Drop Suicide Booth** : “America’s favourite suicide booth since 2008”. **Molten Boron** : “Nobody doesn’t like Molten Boron!” **Bachelor Chow** : “Now with flavor!” **Glagnar’s Human Rinds** : “It’s a buncha muncha cruncha human!” **It Sure Ain’t Butter!** **Slurm** : “It’s highly addictive!” **LöBrau Beer** **π-in-1 Oil** : 3.14159 oils combined into 1. **Mobil Dick Whale Oil** _ **Minimum Obligations Manual‎** _: the Planet Express employee handbook. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/51 "2021-02-04T17:33:08Z")
Also, Swill-Mart. “Where quality is a slogan”. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/52 "2021-02-04T17:56:57Z")
_ **Brawndo** _, the thirst mutilator! (There were a couple of real beers named Brawndo, so I don’t know if it qualifies as a fake product) ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/53 "2021-02-04T18:11:43Z")
Hat tip to the classic “Snicker Snack Cereal Company” of Peanuts fame. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/54 "2021-02-04T18:27:38Z")
Fu-Manchews breakfast cereal, from one of the Nightmare On Elm Street movies. ---
**Author:** ![anny\_m](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@anny\_m](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anny_m)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/55 "2021-02-04T18:35:10Z")
Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs from Calvin and Hobbes. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/56 "2021-02-04T18:45:02Z")
For some reason I was always very amused with all the generic products in Repo Man. [![](https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/17073/Blog_Images/Repo_Man.jpg) ](https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/17073/Blog_Images/Repo_Man.jpg) [![](https://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Repo1.jpg) ](https://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Repo1.jpg) [https://i0.wp.com/www.geekjuicemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/2-b.jpg](https://i0.wp.com/www.geekjuicemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/2-b.jpg) [https://i2.wp.com/www.geekjuicemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/2-a.jpg](https://i2.wp.com/www.geekjuicemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/2-a.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/57 "2021-02-04T18:53:40Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > For some reason I was always very amused with all the generic products in Repo Man. Looks like my childhood! [70s and 80s at Jewel.](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ei2Ik5quiI0/S-92boFQk5I/AAAAAAAAD3s/PindkF82GvM/s1600/jewel+generics+1977+pleasantfamilyshopping.jpg) > [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > “Home Labyrinth” (Home Depot?). If it was orange, then Home Depot, but my first guess would be a blue send-up of Ikea. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/58 "2021-02-04T19:01:00Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > Looks like my childhood! [70s and 80s at Jewel.](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ei2Ik5quiI0/S-92boFQk5I/AAAAAAAAD3s/PindkF82GvM/s1600/jewel+generics+1977+pleasantfamilyshopping.jpg) Exactly. I haven’t seen generic products like that since the 1980s, but at one time there were generic products that were truly generic, as in no brand name at all. Like a 2 liter bottle with a plain white label that just said “Cola”. It seems like those products have all been replaced with store brands or private label brands. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/59 "2021-02-04T19:22:17Z")
Late 70s, kids in “the projects” (Cabrini Green, but probably others as well) would diss each other with "Well, you, you’re… _generic."_ We figured their moms would bring home bags of white products with big black type instead of the name brand stuff the kids wanted. So those generics became a symbol of boring and disappointing. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2021, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/60 "2021-02-04T19:44:02Z")
_ **Sweet Steaks.** _ “Served with milk and fruit, you get all the nourishment of milk and fruit!” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Mfu-1BLNQXw/maxresdefault.jpg "Martin Mull 'Soundstage: 60 Minutes to Kill' (1975)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mfu-1BLNQXw) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158.md?page=4)