# Favorite fake product names? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 3, 2021, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158 "2021-02-03T19:57:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/121 "2021-02-06T19:49:27Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > “MountainAir,” an airline whose logo shows an airplane descending into a mountain. Y’know, we could do a “Product/company names that you’re sure are fake until you find out…” thread. One of my earliest TV memories is Johnny Carson telling a story about flying in Minnesota on a puddle-jumper plane from **Gopher Airlines**. "You just know that plane _wants_ to be _in the ground!"_ ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/122 "2021-02-06T20:07:17Z")
The Very Big Corporation of America, and it’s upstart subsidiary, [Permanent Assurance](https://vimeo.com/111458975). ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2021, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/123 "2021-02-06T20:27:46Z")
> [@Mark\_Finn](#): > > The “Mission Impossible” TV series used a number of fake country names - usually to denote an Eastern European dictatorship - e.g. “People’s Democratic Republic” or “Bulmania”. A Benny Hill skit had Benny as a secret agent; when his boss the head of the spy agency was briefing him on a mission he began by saying “an Eastern European nation-” when Benny interrupts him: _ **“RUSSIA!”** _ ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/124 "2021-02-07T21:55:24Z")
There’s a web comic series called _The Birth of Equestria_ dealing with the author’s explanation of the origins of the world of _My Little Pony_. The company that tries to acquire the technology that creates Celestia is called Stuf Inc. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/125 "2021-02-07T22:15:20Z")
Although I believe I invented the fruit indistincterines, I was pleased when Avatar gave us unobtanium. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/126 "2021-02-07T22:52:26Z")
And before someone else points it out, yes, I know it was “unobtanium” in Avatar, that yes, was based on jocular engineering usage of “unobtainium.” ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2021, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/127 "2021-02-07T23:07:56Z")
[Total Bastard Airlines](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wg5lIpQkoOg) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/128 "2021-02-08T00:18:16Z")
I’ve always liked “Upsidaisium.” [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/jUeTMC4QoXk/maxresdefault.jpg "Rocky & Bullwinkle - Upsidaisium") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUeTMC4QoXk) ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/129 "2021-02-08T04:14:39Z")
If you count schools, there’s also Bullwinkle’s alma mater, “Wossamotta U.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/130 "2021-02-08T05:02:39Z")
There’s also the ruby yacht of Omar Khayyam.and the demolitions company Edifice Wrecks. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/131 "2021-02-08T08:25:36Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > [Food Clown](https://mittendrinnen.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/1f3b3-email0638.jpg) Grocery store from National Lampoon. Many fine items there like Turkey Flakes, canned salad, etc. > [@Labdad](#): > > Years ago, the National Lampoon produced a parody of a Sunday newspaper: the “Dacron Republican-Democrat.” (Its motto was “One of America’s Newspapers”) > > There was a full color advertising insert for Swill Mart, whose store brand was Nonamo. (No name-O > [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Yeah, that’s where the Food Clown ads I linked to in my post were from. Priceless stuff, I still have my original copy. My goodness. The _Dacron Republican-Democrat_ was my Rosetta Stone, my Magna Carta, my lodestar parchment for this mind-bogglingly un-motivated grade-niner in '79. I thought it set the bar for the avalanche of parody-this-and-that’s at the time, and later. I also thought it was better than their (usually) more highly-regarded 1964 High School Yearbook Parody, which came out a couple years earlier. As I presently bring out one of my two (long story) copies of the rag, I pull out all its wonderful inserts and flyers, including the aforementioned Swill Mart, featuring their Pink Slip Sale, with items like the Armpit Dryer, Perpetual Lunch Meat, Digital Grandfather Clock, and the possible fashion risk Thermom-o-Tie. Also liked the TV guide section with :“Search For A Hospital”, “Rich Man, Dirty Girl”, “A Negroid Look at the News”, “Let’s Put It In Our Mouth!”, or another installment oif “Mean Kingdom”, where “Animals eat each other and go to the bathroom on plants.” > [@digs](#): > > [Swill Mart insert] [w]ritten and illustrated by THE Bruce McCall… Always been a huge fan of the fantastic Mr. McCall (who disappointingly 😡denounced his Canadian roots / citizenship - another story) in _NatLamp_, and then moving on to the _New Yorker_. There’s something almost meditative in his absurd, 40’s-burnished style, I found. > [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > 6MTK was the first time Mrs. C and I ever heard of Martin Mull. Next for us was Fernwood 2 Night. Just before _F2N_ he played his Barth Gimble character in _Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman_, where he played a dick husband who didn’t carry a whole lot of entertainment value for me, and when he first transitioned to _F2N_, I was meh about it, until seeing a few episodes, as it very quickly became the second greatest TV show next to _Get a Life_. > [@digs](#): > > Back in the day, pre-TV roles, he billed himself as “America’s First Sit-Down Comedian”. [Mull would] pull an over-stuffed armchair out onto the stage… Ah yes, the many times he did that on Johnny’s show. One time he opened a monologue with “The other day I was having a V8 watching football and realised (_head smack_) I coulda had a beer!”, in reference to a V8 ad at the time touting “I coulda had a V8!” How about [fake dances?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOteomrqeXM) products… The Durango 95 and Milk Plus in _A Clockwork Orange_ (and I spose the ole Ludovico Technique) (we going in to film, here?) Heh, or fake awards?..In an _Odd Couple_ episode, Felix is awarded the Dink, an advertising award he won by dishonestly portraying Oscar in a fat suit to promote some sort of diet pill or something. At the end, at the podium, a remorseful, ashamed Felix announces “I cannot accept your Dink”. Too late right now to think of all the scads of Monty Python crap but the favourite that always comes first to mind is Heart-Attack-o Margarine. _SNL_’s Flucker’s Jam mentioned yet? Had, actually, [a few choice products](https://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75qjam.phtml) in that one. The Cornballer could sometimes get a little problematic in _Arrested Development_. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/132 "2021-02-08T09:05:21Z")
I’m more of a bourbon guy, but I wouldn’t mind a dram of Glengoolie Blue every now and then: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/VXgGv_ZwKcM/maxresdefault.jpg "Archer - GLENGOOLIE, For the best of times") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXgGv_ZwKcM) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/133 "2021-02-08T09:28:08Z")
Fremulon Not sure if that counts because a) it’s not a product and b) it went from being fake to real ---
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/134 "2021-02-08T13:29:28Z")
a local radio guy had 2 flags over Fuquay and Fundermontz airlines ---
**Author:** ![Author\_Balk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Author\_Balk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Author_Balk)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/135 "2021-02-08T13:33:20Z")
At the beginning of Monk he would only drink Sierra Springs water, which is real. Later he changed to Summit Creek, which is not real. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/136 "2021-02-08T16:23:58Z")
Not widely known, but the Early Web-era site Lilek’s Institute of Official Cheer invented their own line of clothing: [**The Dorcus Collection**](https://www.lileks.com/institute/dorcus/index.html). It gets real high marks for apt naming. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/137 "2021-02-08T16:30:11Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > It gets real high marks for apt naming. Why? They don’t look anything like a genus of beetles in the family Lucanidae. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/138 "2021-02-08T19:00:29Z")
Not to mention the Kerwood Derby. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/139 "2021-02-08T19:03:11Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > Just before _F2N_ he played his Barth Gimble character in _Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman_, where he played a dick husband who didn’t carry a whole lot of entertainment value for me, and when he first transitioned to _F2N_, I was meh about it, until seeing a few episodes, as it very quickly became the second greatest TV show next to _Get a Life_. **VOICE OF JERRY HUBBARD:** Makes perfect sense to me! ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158/140 "2021-02-08T19:28:17Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Not widely known, but the Early Web-era site Lilek’s Institute of Official Cheer invented their own line of clothing: [**The Dorcus Collection**](https://www.lileks.com/institute/dorcus/index.html). It gets real high marks for apt naming. Lilek’s is a terrific website, but the Mother Of All Rabbitholes. Enter only when you’ve got time to kill. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fake-product-names/932158.md?page=8)