# Favorite Fictional Arguments
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [April 29, 2014, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274 "2014-04-29T14:07:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/21 "2014-04-30T01:04:48Z")
I’ll second The Big Kahuna. There are some truly choice arguments there.
> [@TriPolar](#):
>
> [Best fictional argument ever.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDjCqjzbvJY)
No it isn’t.
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### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2014, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/22 "2014-04-30T03:15:36Z")
_Tootsie_:
[“When you want to send a steak back, Michael Dorsey is a name.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnHqiipcw6g)
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### Author:  [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2014, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/23 "2014-04-30T04:00:27Z")
Sadly disqualified, due to fighting during the debate, but…[Batman vs. Batman.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYMBwqtMht0&t=0m29s)
Um—if anyone asks, let’s just say I nominated something from _Inherit The Wind_. That’s probably slightly more classy than a Cartoon Network original series. :smack:
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### Author:  [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2014, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/24 "2014-04-30T04:16:24Z")
[The Devil and Daniel Webster](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXfU2AaJDEQ). It is definitely a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
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### Author:  [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2014, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/25 "2014-04-30T04:43:51Z")
Every scene between Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell in _Hi Girl Friday_.
> [@Sitnam](#):
>
> **Chasing Amy** , the argument in the parking lot of the hockey arena.
For me, this movie hasn’t aged well. It was one of my favorite movies for a long time, but I’ve grown more sophisticated and society has progressed enough that it’s no longer to be seen as daring in its subject matter . . .
. . . but _damn_ does that scene hold up.
And you can’t just cue it up, you have to watch the whole movie and go on the journey with the characters for this scene to have its full impact- thus, this scene completely validates viewing a movie that I would otherwise have abandoned by now.
Joey Lauren Adams is a good actress, not a great actress but talented and has turned in some good performances but- holy crap, does she bring it in this scene! She’s just amazing, she goes all out and every bit of it reads as real. Heartbreaking.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2014, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/26 "2014-04-30T13:39:33Z")
The debate in Parliament in Robert Bolt’s **Lady Caroline Lamb**. Bolt wrote the play and screenplay for _A Man for All Seasons_, a stack of plays most people have never heard of, and the screenplays for \*\*Dr. Zhivago, Lawrence of Arabia, \*\* and **The Mission** , but this is the only movie he directed himself. I think it flopped, which is too bad. This scene of a Parliamentary debate is wonderfully bone, depicting the argument between an Idealist and a Practical Man, with the latter illustrating how the law being defended by the Idealist will actually end up working if enacted.
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### Author:  [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2014, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/27 "2014-04-30T14:27:09Z")
Elizabeth Bennett vs. Lady Catherine is a classic. It’s kind of a wizard’s duel, only with words.
There are a lot of great arguments in _As Good As It Gets_. I think it’s an excellent film in general. Maybe my favorite is Greg Kinnear and Jack Nicholson near the end, when Kinnear is telling Nicholson to go talk to Helen Hunt. “Well then put on your pajamas and I’ll tell you a story!”
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### Author:  [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)
#### Post date: [April 30, 2014, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/28 "2014-04-30T17:31:13Z")
How could I forget the Dead Parrot sketch?
\*Pining for the fjords? \*
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### Author:  [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/29 "2014-05-01T00:34:07Z")
I’ve been watching _Foyle’s War_ lately. The main character (“My name’s Foyle. I’m a police officer.”) doesn’t often get into arguments. He usually just raises his eyebrows and lets a remark slide. But Og help you if that man decides to lay it out straight. He explains to the offender in very civil, polite terms how they are idiots, incompetents, cowards, and degraders of what is good and innocent. It’s a verbal lashing that leaves most people slack jawed and stuttering. Anyone who tries to defend themself gets a second round, and it’s the verbal equivalent of the bastinado.
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### Author:  [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/30 "2014-05-01T02:12:11Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#):
>
> The debate in Parliament in Robert Bolt’s **Lady Caroline Lamb**. Bolt wrote the play and screenplay for _A Man for All Seasons_
_A Man for All Seasons_ was what I immediately thought of when I read the title of this thread. Almost any of More’s exchanges with his prosecutors, in or out of a formal setting.
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### Author:  [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/31 "2014-05-01T02:26:29Z")
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman is a pussy, RSM Lauderdale would make him cry like a little girl. **Guns at Batasi** has many great arguments, but there are two between Lauderdale and Lt. Bonniface that are cinema gold. One is on YouTube but iPads are shit for citing, so I’ll link to it later.
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### Author:  [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/32 "2014-05-01T15:11:12Z")
Mr. Incredible vs Elastigirl, arguing about whether she’s going to fight or stay with the kids.
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### Author:  [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/33 "2014-05-01T15:20:34Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#):
>
> Sadly disqualified, due to fighting during the debate, but…[Batman vs. Batman.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYMBwqtMht0&t=0m29s)
There’s a combat-free followup a bit later in the story in which the tables are turned. Also, there’s a nice example of a peaceful but not-really-argumentative scene in “Flash and Substance” where Flash talks Trickster into going back on his meds and turning himself in.
> [@](#):
>
> Um—if anyone asks, let’s just say I nominated something from _Inherit The Wind_. That’s probably slightly more classy than a Cartoon Network original series. :smack:
I’d suggest John the Savage and Mustapha Mond debating the nature and relative importance of freedom and happiness in _Brave New World_, but I’m calling dibs on it myself. 😛
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### Author:  [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/34 "2014-05-01T15:34:12Z")
My favorite is the 4th dimension argument in HG Well’s The Time Machine. To paraphrase: everything in existence has 3 dimensions: length, width, and breadth (draws cube on chalkboard.) But, there is a fourth dimension: duration (erases cube.) Without duration, nothing can exist.
And from there, he builds a time machine. Pure. Pseudobabble. Moment. Of. Awesome.
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### Author:  [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/35 "2014-05-01T15:47:39Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#):
>
> There’s a combat-free followup a bit later in the story in which the tables are turned.
Yep - that’s my favorite part - after watching a man get arrested for disputing a restaurant check, we get this dialogue
Batman: They’d love it here, don’t you think?
Lord!Batman: Who?
Batman: Mom and Dad. They’d be _so_ proud of you.
Lord!Batman: …Just drive.
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### Author:  [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/36 "2014-05-01T18:11:00Z")
Also, there’s the argument Miles has with Speaker Karal about whether a woman’s accusation of murder against her husband should be investigated or not in _The Mountains of Mourning_, by Lois McMaster Bujold.
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### Author:  [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/37 "2014-05-01T18:38:07Z")
“I don’t tip.”
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### Author:  [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/38 "2014-05-01T18:44:09Z")
Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are dead:
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swqfFHLck1o)
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/39 "2014-05-01T18:51:38Z")
> [@JSexton](#):
>
> Mr. Incredible vs Elastigirl, arguing about whether she’s going to fight or stay with the kids.
Ooo, good one.
And Harry “Breaker” Morant on cross examination during his court-martial: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj8N8Nvv6ys](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj8N8Nvv6ys)
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [May 1, 2014, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-fictional-arguments/687274/40 "2014-05-01T23:08:16Z")
If “argument” in the philosophical sense is acceptable here, [then](http://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/index.php/Ventre):
> [@](#):
>
> **Ventre** was the Quirmian philosopher (mentioned in Hogfather) who expounded the Discworld equivalent of Pascal’s Wager. He said, “Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it’s all true you’ll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn’t then you’ve lost nothing, right?” When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, “We’re going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts…”
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