# Favorite Futurama Episodes/Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 18, 2004, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494 "2004-12-18T05:58:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/41 "2004-12-18T19:20:16Z")
I can’t believe no one’s mentioned the following: “Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.” Fry, in the first episode. Anything by Zapp Brannigan. He’s in a dead heat for my favorite character. It’s a three-way race. Zapp, Bender, and Morbo. Bender: That’s no lady. Robot Drag Queen: Damn, chico. One more upgrade and I’ll be more lady than you can handle. Why you so stupid, stupid? Bender: Hey, bite my shiny metal ass. Robot Drag Queen: You couldn’t afford it, honey. And, from the Slurm Cola episode, regarding Soylent Cola: Fry: How’s it taste? Leela: It varies from person to person. "If for any reason you’re not satisfied with our service, I hate you. " “If you rule out every guy with a lizard tongue or a low IQ or an explosive violent temper, of course you’re going to be lonely.” Captain Zapp Brannigan: As my protege you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her. [Kif groans] Captain Zapp Brannigan: This time we are sure she’s a woman, right? Kif Kroker: YES. Bender: That plot makes perfect sense. Wink, wink. Dr. Zoidberg: Bender, you said ‘wink, wink’ out loud. Bender: No I didn’t. Raise middle finger. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/42 "2004-12-18T19:20:18Z")
“Fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it… fix it fix it.” “This episode brought to you by Thompson’s teeth, the only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/43 "2004-12-18T19:37:09Z")
Futurama has so many great quotes: Fry: It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you? Zapp has to be my favourite character, though: Zapp: It was almost the perfect crime, but you forgot the one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper. And bring me a rock. Zapp: Wow, one day a man has everything…,then the following day he blows up a $40 billion space station, and the next day he has nothing. It really makes you think… Kif: No it doesn’t. Leela: You know Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson. Zapp: If it’s a lesson in love, watch out! I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif? Kif: _sigh_ “Sexlexia.” Captain Zapp Brannigan: Just let me work for a little food. Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floor. Leela: You don’t know how to do ANY of those things. Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif might! Favourite episode has to be “The day the Earth stood stupid”: Zoidberg: Zoiby want balloon! Want balloon now! Zoiby want go outside! Fry: Grrr, I just let you back in! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/44 "2004-12-18T19:42:40Z")
> [@continuity eror](#): > > “Fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it… fix it fix it.” That’s really hard to say! ---
**Author:** ![Santos\_L\_Halper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/santos_l_halper/32/1_2.png) [@Santos\_L\_Halper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santos_L_Halper)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/45 "2004-12-18T20:01:43Z")
Zap Branigan: > [@](#): > > Spare me your space-age techno-babble, Attila the Hun! or my sig: ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/46 "2004-12-18T20:01:48Z")
When Mom has her robots take over the world her remote control has five buttons on it - Give Gifts - Tidy Up World - Rebel - Serve Man (Regular) - Serve Man (Ironic). She also has a great line (that is a deleted scene) from IIRC, Raging Bender- She screams out “Make that bitch your bitch you bastard”. While breaking into the Watergate to get Benders body back, bender is looking into rooms through the windows. Bender: Hey, you two. Get a room. Man: We’ve got a room. Bender: Well, then lose some weight. And of course- Bender: Antiquing? I’m all right ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/47 "2004-12-18T20:04:18Z")
“There! Now nobody can say I don’t have John Larroquette’s spine!” ---
**Author:** ![Skott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Skott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skott)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/48 "2004-12-18T20:27:34Z")
I think my favorite episode has to be _Parasites Lost_, followed very closely by _The Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings_… so basically any episode with holophoners in it is my favorite 😉 I really, really liked _Luck of the Fryrish_… didn’t know silly cartoons could make me emotional. As for funniest, the **Raiders of the Lost Arcade** in _Anthology of Interest 2_. Fry: “I still got a trick or two up my sleeve! Watch, as I fire upwards through our own shield!” Bender: “He’s a mad man… A maaaad maaaan!” Fry: “Wait a second. I know that monkey! His name is ‘Donkey’.” Professor: “Monkeys aren’t donkeys. Quit messing with my head!” But I think my favorite quote is: Farnsworth: “Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in… get the hell off my property!” Free Waterfall Junior: “You can’t own property, man.” Farnsworth: “I can. But that’s because I’m not a penniless hippie.” Leela: “What do you people want?” Free Waterfall Junior: “We’re with mankind for ethical animal treatment. Popplers are little creatures. You got to stop harvesting them for food.” Bender: “Or what?” Free Waterfall Junior: “Or we’ll boycott Fishy Joe’s.” Leela: “You’re vegetarians. Who cares what you do?” Free Waterfall Junior: “Shut up!” Leela: “Animals eat other animals. It’s nature.” Free Waterfall Junior: “No it isn’t. We taught a lion to eat tofu.” Lion: _cough_ _pause_ _cough_ The scary thing is… when reading all these quotes here, in my head the sound exactly like in the shows… My wife says that her favorite episode is “that one where they go to the beehive and it turns out that it’s not Fry who’s in a coma, but Leela.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/49 "2004-12-18T20:45:47Z")
> [@Skott](#): > > My wife says that her favorite episode is “that one where they go to the beehive and it turns out that it’s not Fry who’s in a coma, but Leela.” 😉 I think you already know this, but in case anyone else doesn’t know, that’s “The Sting”, which seems to be getting the most votes here for favorite episode. ---
**Author:** ![Qwerty\_not\_Dvorak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/bcef8e/32.png) [@Qwerty\_not\_Dvorak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwerty_not_Dvorak)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/50 "2004-12-18T20:54:45Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > Speaker: “They’re checking the electron microscope… and the winner is … Number 3, in a quantum finish.” > Farnsworth: “No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!” I wonder how many of us actually got that joke…I was the only one laughing at my house :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/51 "2004-12-18T20:55:49Z")
I dig the MST3K references. The 3000 on the moon on the first episode was subtle. But the funniest was in “Raging Bender” (IIRC) when they’re in the movie theatre, Bender starts cracking jokes and the camera pans to a silhouette of very Tom and Crow-like robots saying “We’re trying to watch the movie, here!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/52 "2004-12-18T21:02:56Z")
> [@Qwerty\_not\_Dvorak](#): > > I wonder how many of us actually got that joke…I was the only one laughing at my house :rolleyes: Every Doper in existance. With the exception of **Chronos**. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/53 "2004-12-18T21:26:31Z")
> [@Qwerty\_not\_Dvorak](#): > > I wonder how many of us actually got that joke…I was the only one laughing at my house :rolleyes: I thought it was one of the more “geek for the masses” jokes that most people who would regularly watch _Futurama_ would get. From what I’ve heard from people who have listened to the commentaries, there are some very complex mathematical jokes that few without a degree in math or a related field would even _notice_, much less “get”. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/54 "2004-12-18T21:39:25Z")
With apologies to **bouv** : Alien: “Whoa… That hippie’s starting to kick in… My hands are HUGE… and they can touch everything but themselves… whoooooaaaaa…” Leela: I didn’t know ancient astronauts were so fat. Fry: He wasn’t really an astronaut. He was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Dirx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@Sir\_Dirx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Dirx)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/55 "2004-12-18T22:49:32Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > Anything by Zapp Brannigan. He’s in a dead heat for my favorite character. It’s a three-way race. Zapp, Bender, and Morbo. I forgot about Morbo! [someone I don’t remember]: “So Morbo, how’s the family?” Morbo: “Belligerent and numerous.” And my favorite: “Kittens give Morbo gas.” ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/56 "2004-12-18T23:00:11Z")
> [@Sir Dirx](#): > > [someone I don’t remember]: “So Morbo, how’s the family?” > Morbo: “Belligerent and numerous.” It was Nixon who asked. And his (Nixon) response was even better. He said "Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/57 "2004-12-18T23:14:20Z")
Heh, yeah, there’s only one thing I’m a stickler for and it’s Futurama, but I’ll try to refrain from being an ass any more. 😛 (Besides, most of you are doing much better. Maybe you’re checking your sources.) More great quotes: “Everyone’s a jerk. You, me, this jerk. That’s my philosphy.” (I love that once cause I agree with it.) Zoidberg: It just so happens I have degrees in Murderology AND Murderonomy! Scruffy: I’m on break. Nixon: I’ll sell out children’s organs to zoos, and I’ll go into people’s houses at night and wreck up the place! Morbo: (His wife is adjusting his tie) It’s fine, it’s fine, I will _destroy_ you. Nixon: The loot! The loot! The loot is on fire! ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/58 "2004-12-18T23:28:17Z")
Well, some of us are comfortable merely paraphrasing our quotes, knowing that the true Futurama cognoscenti will be able to fill in the blanks automatically. I’m sorry you lack the confidence in your _Futurama_ knowledge to be comfortable with less than perfect quotes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hustle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@Hustle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hustle)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/59 "2004-12-18T23:41:24Z")
**Mom** : “Shove a bastard in it, you crap!” **Calculon** : “That was so terrible I think you gave me cancer!” And my absolute favourite… **Bender** : “WooooOOOOooo… woooOOOOOoooo…” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/60 "2004-12-19T00:02:00Z")
> [@Qwerty\_not\_Dvorak](#): > > I wonder how many of us actually got that joke…I was the only one laughing at my house :rolleyes: I know two more people who did. I’m half of them. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494.md?page=4)