# Favorite Futurama Episodes/Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 18, 2004, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494 "2004-12-18T05:58:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![vinniepaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@vinniepaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vinniepaz)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/61 "2004-12-19T00:17:05Z")
Ok ok ok someone explain the quantum joke to me. ---
**Author:** ![Spudo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/62 "2004-12-19T00:25:17Z")
Farnsworth: I’ll have the soylent green, with a slice of soylent orange and some soylent coleslaw. Mildred: Pardon? Leela (whispering): It’s the 20th century Professor. Farnsworth: Oh right! [To Mildred.] I’ll have a croque monsieur, the paella, two mutton pills and a stein of mead! ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/63 "2004-12-19T00:40:10Z")
I love the bumpers at the beginning with the show’s sponsors: > [@](#): > > _sung jingle-style_ > Call RoboRooter when you flush your towel, and we can also help with an impacted bowel. _RoboRooter!_ And I also can’t believe I forgot Morbo! **Morbo:** Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat. **Linda:** It’s a “T”. It goes “Tuh.” **Morbo:** Hello, little man. I will destroy you! **Morbo:** “In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human Professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior brain.” **Linda:** “The holiday season is time of celebration for most but it is also the time to remember the tragic suffering of the less fortunate.” **Morbo:** “Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/64 "2004-12-19T00:46:37Z")
Calculon: “Do you have an extra GOTO: 10 line? I said I don’t need a Bender!” Hermes: “When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it’s not a good idea.” ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/65 "2004-12-19T01:06:30Z")
Ahh I get to answer the Quantum measurement joke? I don’t know exactly as well, but I’ll pretend I do. Its based on the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle. As for an explanation of that you’ll have to look elsewhere because I only knew enough to get the joke, being that by measuring the position of a partile, you change it because it is necessary to collide something (like a photon) to get any sort of info, which changes the position. Favorite quotes? I have a particular favorite. It happens when Fry wants to go live with is girlfriend in the lost underwater city of Atlanta. Farnsworth says something like, “Fry, you fool, don’t you realize that if you stay down here much longer, you’ll never be able to return to the surface!” Fry then says, “Realize it? I don’t even understand it!” The delivery was perfect. He made it sound as if not understanding it somehow made his reasons for staying greater!" Favorite moments: The part where the gaseous cloud in the Star Trek episode keeps on zapping “Welshy” out of anger. Brannigan: Do you plead guilty, Fry? One beep for yes, two for no. Fry: _Beep_ _beep_ Brannigan: Double yes! The Farnsworth Parabox is a great episode too… My favorite was when Leela goes into the robot universe. Robot Fry goes up to her and says. Robot fry: (Robot voice) Will…you…go…out…with…me? Leela: um…access denied! robot fry explodes. “What smells blue?” Pannuchi’s pizza box in the first episode “Do not tip the delivery boy” There are countless quotes of Fry screwing up statements to show loyalty or to show how valubale to him. They usually go like, It may be worth a lot of money to you, but to me its worthless! ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/66 "2004-12-19T01:30:40Z")
Where No Fan Has Gone Before Why? Because Fry actually gets to zing Melllvar. (after the trivia contest) Melllvar : “You will now perform a script written by the ultimate Star Trek fan.” Fry : “You have a copy of my script?” Melllvar : “No, MY script. I am the ultimate Star Trek fan.” Fry : “Oh, I’m sorry. I was confused because the scoreboard says something different.” ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/67 "2004-12-19T01:33:08Z")
Uhura: An eternity with geeks? My god, it’s the Pasadena convention all over again. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/68 "2004-12-19T02:23:10Z")
My favorite episode? Hard to say. “Jurassic Bark” is pretty high up, even if I could never stand to watch it more than once. Probably “Leela’s Homeworld,” then. For quotes…jeez, I thought I had more saved up. But I’ve got: “When will man learn that all races are equally inferior to robots!” — Bender “Hmm, I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence.” —Leela “Aw, there there. If it makes you feel any better, his body was vaporized, so there’s chance of him coming back as a zombie.” —Fry Fry: Wouldn’ta solid gold fiddle weigh hundreds of pounds and sound crummy? Robot Devil: Well it’s mostly for show. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/69 "2004-12-19T02:29:17Z")
Leela: Bender, are you jacking on in there? Bender: No. Don’t come in. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/70 "2004-12-19T04:35:30Z")
Bender: Oh, your God! ---
**Author:** ![3.885AM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/58956e/32.png) [@3.885AM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3.885AM)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/71 "2004-12-19T05:01:53Z")
Bender: I hate the people who love me, and they hate me. ---
**Author:** ![Qwerty\_not\_Dvorak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/bcef8e/32.png) [@Qwerty\_not\_Dvorak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwerty_not_Dvorak)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/72 "2004-12-19T05:07:17Z")
> [@Merkwurdigliebe](#): > > Ahh I get to answer the Quantum measurement joke? > > I don’t know exactly as well, but I’ll pretend I do. > > Its based on the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle. As for an explanation of that you’ll have to look elsewhere because I only knew enough to get the joke, being that by measuring the position of a partile, you change it because it is necessary to collide something (like a photon) to get any sort of info, which changes the position. _The Illustrated A Brief History of Time_ has a good explanation of it, I got a discount copy over at [Hamiltonbook](http://www.hamiltonbook.com). Yes, basically on a sub-atomic scale you can know the velocity of a particle OR you can know where the particle is. I’m sleepy so i’d mess somethign up but there are a lot of google links out there. Oh and BTW, my favorites, the “jacking on” phrases were hilarious, but I liked the 80’s arcade game referrences. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/73 "2004-12-19T05:34:53Z")
I think Zoidberg gets a good amount of memorable lines, gotta love the crazy, incompetent Decapodian doctor From Parasites Lost; Hermes; He’ll be as strong and flexible as Gumby and Hercules combined Zoidberg; Gumbercules? i love that guy! Zoidy; It’s good cholesterol but it spreads like bad cholesterol Prof. F; We’re now in the heart, better known as the love muscle Zoidy; where the food is digested Zoidy; Quick, we can escape thru that nasal cavity into the capilaries Hermes; strange, you usually don’t know anything about human anatomy Zoidy; i learned it from a decongestant commercial…“Soothing Action…action…action…” Prof. F; the Pelvic Splanknic Ganglion Zoidy; I heard of that, who said i havent? and of course… Zoidy; Yippy Ki-Yay, you’ll never guess where i’ve been Where the Buggalo Roam; all Zoidy quotes; do you have any more of that Dom Peringon bubble bath, there was only enough to fill the tub halfway i took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar (loudly, from the lake) I broke your television! Where No Fan Has Gone Before; Koening; when we woke up, we had these bodies Fry; say it in Russian K (bored and exasperated, monotone) ven…ve…voke…up…ve…had…zeese…wodies F; (joyfully) EEEEEEEE!!! now say “Nuclear Wessels” K; NO! (it’s Fry’s joyful “EEEEEE” that makes this quote) Fear of a Bot planet; Mayor; Let the hunt begin! Trumpeter; plays the startup chime from a Mac Quadra actually there were a lot of Mac references in that ep; the trumpeter plays a Mac startup chime the judge appeared to be a Mac 128 or 512 the Robot Elders eye and mouth coloration was the same color scheme as the multicolor tray-load imacs (Blueberry, Lime, Grape, Tangerine, and Strawberry. i think one of the elders was also supposed to be Key Lime (the KL iBook’s case coloration, a radioactive green was almost impossible to reproduce in print or on TV, it also glowed when exposed to a black light, i’ve done it myself, the KL plastics glow when exposed to UV light) ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/74 "2004-12-19T05:39:49Z")
Hermes: I’ll have a horse Coke. Vendor: Horse Pepsi okay? Hermes: Nay! Calculon: So, you can guarantee me an Oscar? Bender: I can _guarantee_ you anything you want. Number 1.0: Bureacrat Conrad, you are technically correct. The _best kind_ of correct! Judge Whitey: My caddy’s chauffer tells me that a bank is a place where poor people put money that isn’t properly invested. Therefore, robbing a bank is tantamount to the most heinous of crimes: _stealing money!_ Judge Whitey: That reminds me of a joke I heard about upper-middle-class people. Farnsworth: I’ll have a croque monsieur, the paella, two mutton pills and a stein of mead. Nibbler: We live long and are celebrated poopers! Fry: Attention, meat-creatures. It is time for you to ingest sustinence from my compartment. QBert: Since you were declared dead last year, I inherrit your building and assets. Farnsworth: You take one nap in a ditch at the park and they declare you this and that! Ms. Waterfall: No, great-grandpa! Another victim of the man-o-centric male-ocrocy! Fry: Ow! My sperm! Bender: Brought to you by Futurama. The show that does not advocate the coooool crime of robbery. Lrrr: Bring me McNeal. She is a plucky young human female trying to make it in a human male’s world. Zapp Branigan: Maybe that’s just her excuse for being incompetent. Lrrr: SILENCE! Fry: Voter apathy party? That sounds perfect. Sign me up! Volunteer: Not with that attitude. Fry: OK, then, forget it. Volunteer: Welcome aboard, brother! Fry! All right! Volunteer: You’re out. Amy: Is it true that hemp can be used to make rope and shampoo? Stoner: Dave’s not here, man. Hermes: Mail call! Fry, here’s Sadie’s Bra Parade, Leela, Bulk Underpants Outlet. Leela: You buy ten pounds of underpants and suddenly you’re on their list forever. Terri: Welcome to the woooooooorld of tomooooorrow! Boss: So I told Leela I must decline her request for a date. After all, that is how I met my horrible wife! Leela: But you never wore your ring. I didn’t know you had a wife. Boss: And my wife doesn’t know I have a job! Yangtze Fry: Your name is Yangtze. Just like me, and my father, and his father. All the way back to Minuteman Yangtze Fry who blasted commies in the American Revolution. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/75 "2004-12-19T05:56:38Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Yangtze Fry Yancy. ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/76 "2004-12-19T06:44:16Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Yancy. Hahaha I thought I was the only one cringing… Honestly… Futurama qutes…If you like the show, there is a good quote every 2 minutes. Its impossible to pick a list of favorites, more like the best ones you have seen recently. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/77 "2004-12-19T07:27:56Z")
Fry: It’s like a balloon and then… something bad happens! Leela: I love all living creatures Fry: Even me? Leela: As a friend. Slurm Contest Disclaimer: Odds of winning mathematically insignificant. ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/78 "2004-12-19T07:30:51Z")
My favorite episode is “Why Must I Be A Crustacean In Love”. The national anthem part was hilarious. My favorite line is from a different episode though. Professor Farnsworth: “He may have ocean madness, but that’s no excuse for ocean rudeness!!!” ---
**Author:** ![JRootabega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e7dd6/32.png) [@JRootabega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRootabega)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/79 "2004-12-19T07:58:58Z")
**Bender** : Wiggles, weren’t you about to propose a toast to your gallant captain? # **Fry** : Fine, I’ve got a toast: To Captain Bender! He’s the best! …at being a big jerk who’s **stupid** , and his big ugly face is as dumb as a **butt**! # **Bender** : From now on, I’m going to bend what I want, when I want, who I want! **Fry** : (lovingly) I’ll kill you too, buddy. I’ll kill you too. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494/80 "2004-12-19T10:11:38Z")
Zapp has got to be one of the best characters: If we can hit that bull’s-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards…Checkmate. Zapp: Kif, I’m feeling the “Captains’ Itch” Kiff: (In a tired voice) ‘I’ll get the powder sir!’ I am the man with no name! (pause) Zapp Brannigan, at your service. Now remember Kif: the quickest way to a girls bed is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you’re in! Men, you’re lucky men. Soon you will all be fighting for your planet. Many of you will be dying for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-futurama-episodes-quotes/280494.md?page=5)