# Favorite Instant Messenger Away Messages

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-instant-messenger-away-messages/173748>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [May 7, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-instant-messenger-away-messages/173748 "2003-05-07T20:07:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-instant-messenger-away-messages/173748/1 "2003-05-07T20:07:33Z")

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What are your favorite away messages from your instant messenger of choice? I prefer to use quotes and sayings rather than just a boring “I’m away from my computer right now.” I like to use Simpsons quotes mostly. My favorites:

**For when I’m just away from my computer for a short while…**

“I’m going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes.”  
-Homer

**For when I go to play some sport…**

“Son, when particpating in sports, it’s not whether you win or lose. It’s how drunk you get.”  
-Homer

**For when I go to bed…**

“Oh Boy, Sleep! That’s where I’m a viking!”  
-Ralph

**For when I go out drinking…**

“Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”  
-Homer

or

“Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!”  
-Homer

**And some random favorites…**

“You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.”  
-Homer

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level, I’m really quite busy.

“I’m in a place where I don’t know where I am!”  
-Homer

“It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor…”  
-Mr Rogers

Eschew Obfuscation Is this someone’s sig?

I searched for past similar threads. I couldn’t find any and the hamsters were getting winded.

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-instant-messenger-away-messages/173748/2 "2003-05-07T20:27:27Z")

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Mine are all on my school computer (laptop)… let’s see.

A few are personal quotes, like  
“South Africa has enough problems without its Prime Minister sounding like he has Frank Oz’s hand up his ass.”  
and  
“Does the Bible contain contradictions? Well, the Old Testament says ‘no,’ but the New Testament says ‘yes.’”

I have these because about half of my girlfriend’s away messages are weird quotes of mine, and some of them I like too.

Others are just random strange things I read, like “DEATH AWAITS YOU IN THE SHOWER.”

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**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\
**Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-instant-messenger-away-messages/173748/3 "2003-05-08T05:13:25Z")

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One of my favorites: “Well it’s now (time stamp) and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.”