# Favorite Joss Whedon Lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 26, 2016, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189 "2016-04-26T15:09:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/21 "2016-04-26T16:52:14Z")
[Capt. Malcolm Reynolds](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0277213/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Y’all got on this boat for different reasons, but y’all come to the same place. So now I’m asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this - they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They’ll swing back to the belief that they can make people… better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin’. I aim to misbehave. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/22 "2016-04-26T16:53:03Z")
She was naked and articulate. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/23 "2016-04-26T17:17:51Z")
**Buffy:** Hey Ken, wanna see my impression of Gandhi? _WHAM!_ \*\*Lily: 😕 \*\* Gandhi? **Buffy** : Well, you know, if he was really pissed off. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/24 "2016-04-26T17:22:47Z")
Goin’ on a year now I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries! …I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Dante\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dante\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante_G)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/25 "2016-04-26T17:28:47Z")
From\* Angel\* After Darla escapes from Caritas Lounge beating up Gunn and Wesley … Gunn : We tried to stop her by hitting her feet and fists with our faces but it didn’t work! ---
**Author:** ![Santos\_L\_Halper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/santos_l_halper/32/1_2.png) [@Santos\_L\_Halper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santos_L_Halper)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/26 "2016-04-26T17:48:00Z")
I gotta say Joss’s shows are responsible for a good bit of my favorite lines (Aaron Sorkin’s created a bunch too) but my all-time favorite bit of dialog is this scene: > [@](#): > > Angel: Well, I guess I kinda worked it out. If there’s no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters… , then all that matters is what we do. 'Cause that’s all there is. What we do. Now. Today. I fought for so long, for redemption, for a reward, and finally just to beat the other guy, but I never got it. > > Kate Lockley: And now you do? > > Angel: Not all of it. All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because, I don’t think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there’s no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world. > > Kate Lockley: Yikes. It sounds like you’ve had an epiphany. > > Angel: I keep saying that, but nobody’s listening. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/2gXaMnkmGq0/hqdefault.jpg "Angel's Epiphany Speech") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gXaMnkmGq0) ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/27 "2016-04-26T18:40:05Z")
Agent Coulson: We need you to come in. Black Widow: [tied to a chair being interrogated] Are you kidding? I’m working. Agent Coulson: This takes precedence. Black Widow: I’m in the middle of an interrogation. This moron is giving me everything. Georgi Luchkov: [to his cohorts] I don’t… give everything. Black Widow: [gives Luchkov a skeptical look] Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack. Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack! Tony Stark: [to Thor] No hard feelings, Point Break. You’ve got a mean swing. Steve Rogers: I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He’s not leading an army from here. Bruce Banner: I don’t think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him. Thor: Have a care how you speak! Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother! Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days. Thor: He’s adopted Steve Rogers: Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you? Tony Stark: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Black Widow: [nodding] Tony Stark: What’s the stat, Rogers? Steve Rogers: [looks at the Helicarrier tech] It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity! Tony Stark: …well, you’re not wrong. Loki: How will your friends have time for me, when they’re so busy fighting you? Loki: [Attempts to control Stark with the Scepter, fails] This usually works… Tony Stark: Well, performance issues. It’s not uncommon, one out of five… World Security Council: Director Fury, the council has made a decision. Nick Fury: I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it. Steve Rogers: Stark? We got him. Tony Stark: Banner? Steve Rogers: Just like you said. Tony Stark: Then tell him to suit up… I’m bringing the party to you. [Stark leads the monstrous Leviathan toward the Avengers] Natasha Romanoff: I - I don’t see how that’s a party. Steve Rogers: Dr. Banner, now might be a good time for you to get angry. Bruce Banner: That’s my secret, Captain. I’m always angry. [metamorphises to Hulk] {deleted scene} Waitress: The table’s yours as long as you like. Nobody’s waiting on it. Plus we’ve got free wireless. Steve Rogers: Radio? Waitress: [gives Rogers a nice look over her shoulder as she walks away] Stan Lee: [from the adjacent table] Ask for her number, you moron! Whedon’s writing was never better than here, and it is consistent throughout the film. One of the most disappointing things about _Age of Ultron_ was the almost complete lack of clever dialogue; the film could basically have been written by anyone. It was clear that Whedon was just exhausted and done with the Marvel Cinematic Universe at that point. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/28 "2016-04-26T18:52:07Z")
Bruce Banner: ‘That’s probably not such a good idea. The last time I was in New York I broke…Harlem.’ ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/29 "2016-04-26T19:02:45Z")
Moist: I’m Moist. At my most badass, I make people want to take a shower. Black Widow: This reminds me of Budapest. Hawkeye: You and I remember Budapest very differently. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/30 "2016-04-26T19:09:31Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Steve Rogers: Dr. Banner, now might be a good time for you to get angry. > Bruce Banner: That’s my secret, Captain. I’m always angry. [metamorphises to Hulk] Oh, I forgot about that–that’s probably my favorite line in any superhero movie. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/31 "2016-04-26T19:14:47Z")
Captain, I’m a dangerously minded man on a ship loaded with hurt, now why you got me chattin’ wit yer peons? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/32 "2016-04-26T19:33:42Z")
Spike: I may be Love’s bitch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it. Mayor Richard Wilkins III: There’s more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that’s factually true. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/33 "2016-04-26T19:56:34Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > One of the most disappointing things about _Age of Ultron_ was the almost complete lack of clever dialogue; the film could basically have been written by anyone. It was clear that Whedon was just exhausted and done with the Marvel Cinematic Universe at that point. I dunno. We had this. Shit! Language! Is no one going to comment that the Cap just said “language”? I know! It just slipped out. And for gosh’s sake, watch your language! That’s not going away anytime soon. Outwit the platinum bastard. Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk. You know what Romanoff… Steve, he said a bad language word! Did you tell everyone about that? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/34 "2016-04-26T20:12:48Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I dunno. We had this. > > Shit! > Language! > > Is no one going to comment that the Cap just said “language”? > I know! It just slipped out. > > And for gosh’s sake, watch your language! > That’s not going away anytime soon. > > Outwit the platinum bastard. > Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk. > You know what Romanoff… > > Steve, he said a bad language word! > Did you tell everyone about that? Okay, look, the city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense. But I’m going back out there, 'cause it’s my job. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/35 "2016-04-26T20:13:05Z")
And this: Steve Rogers: You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed… walk it off. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/36 "2016-04-26T20:20:23Z")
Also, while it’s not much of a _line,_ it got the biggest response in my theater: _“There may be no way to make you trust me…”_ \ _“…but we need to go.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/37 "2016-04-26T21:00:21Z")
My all time [favorite sequence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ96c7IOIPQ) from Buffy. Unlike most of the ones reported previously its not a funny scene, but is possibly the most poignant scene I have every come across, its a testament to Joss’s Genius how he can slip it in to what is other wise a wonderfully cheesy action comedy show. The setting: Buffy’s mom has just died of a stroke, Anya is a demon who got trapped in human form and is notorious for not understanding the niceties of human interaction. Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open? Willow: Oh my God! Would you just… stop talking? Just… shut your mouth. Please. Anya: What am I doing? Willow: How can you act like that? Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? I mean, is that the helpful thing to do? Xander: Guys… Willow: The way you behave… Anya: Nobody will tell me. Willow: Because it’s not okay for you to be asking these things. Anya: But I don’t understand. [begins to cry] Anya: I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s- There’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid. And-and Xander’s crying and not talking, and-and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she’ll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why. ---
**Author:** ![Dante\_G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@Dante\_G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante_G)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/38 "2016-04-26T21:06:12Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > My all time [favorite sequence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ96c7IOIPQ) from Buffy. Unlike most of the ones reported previously its not a funny scene, but is possibly the most poignant scene I have every come across, its a testament to Joss’s Genius how he can slip it in to what is other wise a wonderfully cheesy action comedy show. > > The setting: Buffy’s mom has just died of a stroke, Anya is a demon who got trapped in human form and is notorious for not understanding the niceties of human interaction. > Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open? > Willow: Oh my God! Would you just… stop talking? Just… shut your mouth. Please. > Anya: What am I doing? > Willow: How can you act like that? > Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? I mean, is that the helpful thing to do? > Xander: Guys… > Willow: The way you behave… > Anya: Nobody will tell me. > Willow: Because it’s not okay for you to be asking these things. > Anya: But I don’t understand. > [begins to cry] > Anya: I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s- There’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid. And-and Xander’s crying and not talking, and-and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she’ll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why. Nicely done. A great scene indeed. That whole episode is amazingly well done. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/39 "2016-04-26T22:31:23Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I dunno. We had this. > > Shit! > Language! > > Is no one going to comment that the Cap just said “language”? > I know! It just slipped out. > > And for gosh’s sake, watch your language! > That’s not going away anytime soon. > > Outwit the platinum bastard. > Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk. > You know what Romanoff… > > Steve, he said a bad language word! > Did you tell everyone about that? That really proves my point. Whedon took one mildly funny toss off line that was probably worth of a single callback and tried to turn it into a running gag about how Steve Rogers is so old fashioned. It’s tired and lazy; the kind of gag a lesser writer might have thought was funny enough to repeat. And this comes from the guy who kept the original _Avengers_ consistently fresh despite the twenty minute battle scene, wrote/directed/produced _Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog_, and made one of the best film adaptations of a Shakespeare play in his backyard with a bunch of friends in their spare time. Compared to those, or pretty much else Whedon has done, _Age of Ultron_ is a real drug, and one that spends so much time setting up future plotlines it doesn’t bother to really address the implications of its own story. The best scenes are the characters lounging around at the after party before Ultron makes its appearance, and Ultron itself is just not that interesting of a villian, which is problematic since we are assured that it will defeated and Earth is not destroyed, nor will any of the major characters die since they all had to appear in _Civil War_. Tom Hiddleston’s acting and Whedon’s dialogue make Loki fun and lively even if he wasn’t especially threatening and we knew he’d lose, and the conflict between the characters was the real threat that the story had to overcome, the Chitauri notwithstanding. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189/40 "2016-04-26T23:14:42Z")
The line that made me know Buffy the TV series was going to be good: Cordelia (To Willow): “So glad you’ve see the softer side of Sears.” Oh, and Giles: “What was subtext is rapidly becoming text.” My husband and I say that one all the time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-joss-whedon-lines/753189.md?page=3)