# Favorite Mamet quotes. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2005, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408 "2005-08-03T11:34:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/1 "2005-08-03T11:34:16Z")
Got any favorite Mamet quotes & their vehicles? From _Spartan_, “Set your motherfucker to _receive_.” A funny one from _State & Main_. . . Guy #1 in diner: Well. . .it takes all kinds. Guy #2 in diner: Oh, is that what it takes? I was wondering what it took. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/2 "2005-08-03T12:26:55Z")
From Heist: “My motherfucker is so cool, when he goes to sleep, sheep count him.” “Everyone wants money. That’s why they call it _money_” “How long is a Chinaman’s name.” From Ronin (guessing a bit here, but he did do significant re-writing): “Everyone’s your brother till the rent comes due” “Everyone wants to go to the party, no-one wants to stay and clean up” “What could have been conducted in a collegial atmosphere, is fucked into a cocked hat” From Spanish Prisoner: “We are all humans, and as humans we must dream, and when we dream, we dream of money” “Money - what good did it ever do anybody?” “Well, it’s useful if you want to buy stuff”. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/3 "2005-08-03T12:51:18Z")
amrussel beat me to my favorite quote. I use it all the time, too. I’ve been saying it as needs, not wants. “Everyone needs money. That’s why they call it _money_” I also use ‘cute a bucket full of kittens’ on occasion, too. Until this thread, I hadn’t even heard of _Spartan_. It’s going on my Netflix queue now. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/4 "2005-08-03T13:43:15Z")
Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/5 "2005-08-03T16:36:32Z")
“At this point, we’re not sure.” - _About Last Night_ (movie version of _Sexual Perversity In Chicago_) ---
**Author:** ![Renob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8c91f0/32.png) [@Renob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renob)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/6 "2005-08-03T16:46:44Z")
You ever take a dump made you feel like you’d just slept for twelve hours? ---
**Author:** ![McDeath\_the\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@McDeath\_the\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/McDeath_the_Mad)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/7 "2005-08-03T18:08:31Z")
From Gelngarry Glen Ross: “What’s my name? Fuck you that’s my name!” MtM ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/8 "2005-08-03T18:16:13Z")
“Second prize: a set of steak knives.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/9 "2005-08-03T18:17:46Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired. Sorry. I posted before seeing this one. ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/10 "2005-08-03T18:43:55Z")
From _State & Main_: Well, that happened. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/11 "2005-08-03T18:49:28Z")
From _Spartan_: “In the city it’s always a reflection. In the woods, always a sound.” “What about the desert?” “You don’t want to go in the desert.” ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/12 "2005-08-03T18:55:23Z")
**Heist** : DeVito: “Wait! Don’t you want to hear my last words?” Hackman: “I just did.” \ ---
**Author:** ![Illinois\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Illinois\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illinois_Boy)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/13 "2005-08-03T19:39:49Z")
From _About Last Night_, assuming it was from the original Mamet “You know, those firemen make out like bandits!” I know it’s not as snappy as the other examples, but in context… hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/14 "2005-08-03T20:10:28Z")
\*Malone: \*You wanna know how you do it? Here’s how, they pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way, and that’s how you get Capone! Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? \*Ness: \*I have sworn to capture this man with all legal powers at my disposal and I will do so. \*Malone: \*Well the Lord hates a coward. Do you know what a blood oath is Mr. Ness? \*Ness: \*Yes. \*Malone: \*Good, cause you just took one. _Ricky Roma:_ “Patel”? Fuck you. Fucking Shiva handed this guy a million dollars, said “Sign the deal!” he wouldn’t sign. And the god Vishnu too. Fuck you, John! You know your business, I know mine. Your business is being an asshole. _Curtis:_ My name’s Curtis. _Scott:_ Do I need to know that? If I want camaraderie, I’ll join the Masons. _Mickey:_ Do you know who the attorney is for the defense? Ed Concannon! _Frank:_ He’s a good man… _Mickey:_ He’s a good man? Heh, he’s the Prince of fucking Darkness! He’ll have people testifying they saw her waterskiing up in Marblehead last summer. Frank, don’t _fuck_ with this case! _Hoffa:_ If a guy’s close to you, you can’t slight 'im. You can’t slight that guy. A real grievance can be resolved; differences can be resolved. But an imaginary hurt, a slight - that motherfucker gonna hate you 'til the day he dies. _Sullivan:_ The FBI couldn’t find Joe Frazier in a bowl of rice. _Mike:_ I’m from the United States of kiss-my-ass. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/15 "2005-08-03T22:25:52Z")
PUT…that COFFEE… DOWN! Coffee is for closers. George ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/16 "2005-08-03T22:29:02Z")
From _House of Games_: “Oh, you’re a bad pony. And I’m not gonna bet on you.” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/17 "2005-08-04T01:55:19Z")
“Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids.” ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/18 "2005-08-04T03:42:38Z")
“I’m from the United States of kiss-my-ass.” – _House of Games_ Joe: “He ain’t gonna shoot me?” Fran: “No.” Joe: “Then he hadn’t ought to point a gun at me. It’s insincere.” – _Heist_ “It’s not a lie. It’s a gift for fiction.” – _State & Main_ “Never liked the Swiss, they make them little clocks, these two cocksuckers come out of 'em with these little hammers, hit each other on the head. What kind of sick mentality is that?” – _Heist_ Spence: “You worried about saving your own skin?” Sam: “Yeah, I am. It covers my body.” – _Ronin_ “Everybody makes their own fun. If you don’t make it yourself, it isn’t fun. It’s entertainment.” – _State & Main_ Joseph Turner White: “What’s an associate producer credit?” Bill Smith: “It’s what you give to your secretary instead of a raise.” – _State & Main_ “You want an ambush? Look at that, I just ambushed you with a fuckin’ cup of coffee!” – _Ronin_ Spence: “You ever kill anybody?” Sam: “I hurt somebody’s feelings once.” – _Ronin_ “Worry is like interest paid in advance on a debt that never comes due.” – _The Spanish Prisoner_ Stanley Motss: “The President will be a hero. He brought peace.” Conrad ‘Connie’ Brean: “But there was never a war.” Stanley Motss: “All the greater accomplishment.” – _Wag The Dog_ “Nobody going on a business trip would have been missed if he never arrived.” – _The Spanish Prisoner_ Conrad ‘Connie’ Brean: “What’s the thing people remember about the Gulf War? A bomb falling down a chimney. Let me tell you something: I was in the building where we filmed that with a 10-inch model made out of Legos.” Stanley Motss: “Is that true?” Conrad ‘Connie’ Brean: “Who the hell’s to say?” – _Wag The Dog_ “It’s like a plumber: if you do it OK, nobody notices, if you fuck up, it gets full of shit.” – _Wag The Dog_ Ricky Roma: “How was her crumbcake? Homemade?” Shelley Levene: “Hmm? Oh… store bought.” Ricky Roma: “Fuck her.” – _Glengerry Glen Ross_ “Fuck you. That’s my name. You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. _That’s_ my name.” – _Glengerry Glen Ross_ “Put that coffee down. Coffee is for closers.” – _Glengerry Glen Ross_ “All train compartments smell vaguely of shit.” – _Glengerry Glen Ross_ “You wanna know how you do it? Here’s how, they pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way, and that’s how you get Capone! Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?” – _The Untouchables_ “Isn’t that just like a wop? Brings a knife to a gun fight.” – _The Untouchables_ Okay, I’ll stop now. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2005, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-mamet-quotes/315408/19 "2005-08-04T05:21:09Z")
Personally I like the joke best. A woman leaving a theatre is accosted by a beggar. She pompously tells him, "“Neither a borrower nor a lender be.’ --William Shakespeare.” The beggar replies: “Yeah? ‘Fuck you.’–David Mamet.”