# Favorite math-related jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2006, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124 "2006-07-19T03:07:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/41 "2006-07-20T01:15:25Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Mathematician: “nonsense! I counted them myself - see? zero, one, two, three, four!” [/QUOTE] Not a mathematician, but a programmer. Only someone used to arrays would count that way, and even that is somewhat language-specific. ---
**Author:** ![quelquechose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/6f9a4e/32.png) [@quelquechose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quelquechose)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/42 "2006-07-20T01:27:19Z")
e[sup]x[/sup] and a constant are walking down the street when they see a differentiation operator come around the corner. The constant runs away in terror, but e[sup]x[/sup] stands his ground. He approaches the differentiation operator and introduces himself, “Hi, I’m e[sup]x[/sup].” The differentiation operator responds, “I’m d/dy.” ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/43 "2006-07-20T01:48:35Z")
Why is Halloween like Christmas? OCT 31 = DEC 25 I like it. ---
**Author:** ![Constipated\_Mathematician](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5fc32e/32.png) [@Constipated\_Mathematician](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Constipated_Mathematician)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/44 "2006-07-20T02:28:16Z")
Because I started this thread, I’ll type out the joke as I’ve heard it (and the best I can remember it)… An Indian chief was speaking to his Medicine Man about choosing another wife. He asked the Medicine Man to pick three women from the tribe and bring them into his tent for his selection. After looking at the women, the chief couldn’t decide. So he asked the Medicine Man for an idea to help him choose. The Medicine Man suggested that each woman go out and hunt down an animal, and bring its hide back to the tent. Perhaps this test would help the chief decide. The chief, not sure why, agreed to the test. The first squaw brought the hide of a bear and sat down on it in front of the chief. The second brought the hide of a bull and sat down on it. The third brought the hide of a hippo (don’t ask) and sat down on it. The chief immediately picked the squaw on the hippo hide. The room was cleared and the medicine man was perplexed. He said to the chief “why did you pick that one?” The chief looked at the medicine man and said, "You should know this! This was your test! Everyone knows the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides!” ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/45 "2006-07-20T04:55:14Z")
[QUOTE=catsix] To be accurate, this isn’t localhost, the home IP. You should be using 127.0.0.1. Otherwise I’m going ‘Uh, no place like an IP address in the class C private range?’ Yes, I realize I’m a total nerd for nitpicking an IP address joke. [/QUOTE] I was going to post and say something along the lines of “I didn’t know, I got my joke from [ThinkGeek](http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/coder/5d6a/).” :smack: I could swear my mind used to work! ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/46 "2006-07-20T07:32:43Z")
[QUOTE=Yeeter] Okay, a mathematician, an engineer and an accountant are asked, “What is 2 and 2?” The mathematician replies, “I can tell you the answer, but first we must define ‘2’ and ‘and.’” The engineer says, “I can tell you the answer, but how are we going to apply this?” The accountant looks around the room and whispers, “What do you want it to be?” [/QUOTE] I like the outdated original version better. The engineer pulls out a slide rule, and after a few seconds, says, “Just about 4.000” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/47 "2006-07-20T08:41:25Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] Not a mathematician, but a programmer. Only someone used to arrays would count that way, and even that is somewhat language-specific. [/QUOTE] Ah. Ya got me there. ---
**Author:** ![MartinL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@MartinL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MartinL)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/48 "2006-07-20T11:03:24Z")
A physicist explains to a shepherd that he will need less metarial for a fence to contain the same number of sheep if he makes a round fence instead of a square one. A mathematician comes along and contradicts: “The best shape is a triangle. See!” He builds a very small triangular fence, steps inside, and proclaims: “I define myself to be outside the fence!” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/49 "2006-07-20T16:07:50Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] > [@Mangetout](#): > > Mathematician: “nonsense! I counted them myself - see? zero, one, two, three, four!” Not a mathematician, but a programmer. Only someone used to arrays would count that way, and even that is somewhat language-specific. [/QUOTE] Someone doing [ordinal](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordinal_numbers) arithmetic would count that way: > [@](#): > > Any ordinal is defined by the set of ordinals that precede it: in fact, the most common definition of ordinals identifies each ordinal as the set of ordinals that precede it. For example, the ordinal 42 is the order type of the ordinals less than it, i.e., the ordinals from 0 (the smallest of all ordinals) to 41 (the immediate predecessor of 42), and it is generally identified as the set {0,1,2,…,41}. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/50 "2006-07-20T16:52:15Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] Not a mathematician, but a programmer. Only someone used to arrays would count that way, and even that is somewhat language-specific. [/QUOTE] “We are computer scientists now, so we start counting at zero.” —one of my C.S. profs “…you’ll notice there’s a Chapter 0, which I’ve omitted altogether. That’s because I’m not a computer scientist, so I begin counting at 1.” —one of my Algebra (i.e. group theory etc.) profs “0 and 1 are more or less the same thing anyway.” —my Algebraic Topology prof ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124/51 "2006-07-20T18:51:04Z")
What is a mathematician’s favorite song? “Take It To The Limit” by The Eagles [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-math-related-jokes/365124.md?page=2)