# Favorite meaningless advertising claims **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 27, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024 "2011-06-27T14:48:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/1 "2011-06-27T14:48:31Z")
I was reading the back of my Raisin Bran box today and saw this: “We use only the plumpest and juiciest grapes to make our raisins.” Why does it matter how plump and juicy they are **if you’re turning them into raisins!?!** It reminded me of a few others I’ve seen lately: On the Sabra Hummus container: “Richer, Smoother, & Tastier” than what? I’m pretty sure any hummus can make that claim, if the alternative is, say, raw sewage. I forget what snack food had this one, I think it was some chocolate chip cookies: “Made with 100% real cocoa” You know what else is made with 100% real cocoa? 50% real cocoa. And 10% real cocoa and 1% real cocoa. Any other good ones? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/2 "2011-06-27T14:54:47Z")
“Switching to GEICO could save you up to 15% or more on your car insurance.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/3 "2011-06-27T14:55:50Z")
With a name like Smucker’s, it has to be good. ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Jocko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncle_jocko/32/2932_2.png) [@Uncle\_Jocko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Jocko)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/4 "2011-06-27T15:18:20Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > “Switching to GEICO could save you up to 15% or more on your car insurance.” Similarly, a local car dealer … “We’ll pay you up to $4000 for your trade, no matter what condition it’s in! Cars in good condition could get even more!” Seriously … that doesn’t tell me _ **anything** _ about what that dealer might give someone for a used car. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/5 "2011-06-27T15:22:37Z")
My all-time favorite is when an ad touts its product or service with “ANYTHING LESS IS NOT ENOUGH.” Think about it for a minute. If _anything_ less is not enough, then you’re saying that your product or service just barely meets the minimum requirements of acceptability. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/6 "2011-06-27T15:22:54Z")
One local radio ad referred to somebody’s ability to use “medical and non-medical procedures” to cure baldness. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/7 "2011-06-27T15:23:24Z")
Most car dealerships and insurance companies: “You’ve been pre-approved!” ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/8 "2011-06-27T15:26:14Z")
“A tiger in every tank.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/9 "2011-06-27T15:26:58Z")
This is a timely topic. I just returned from the grocery store; among the items I bought was a bottle of French’s mustard. The label very proudly displayed the following: **40% More!!!** \* \*than our 14 oz. size. So the mustard folks are taking credit for the fact that 20 is 40% more than 14. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/10 "2011-06-27T15:33:49Z")
There was a bar near where I used to live in Oakland that hung the banner … “Coldest Beer in Town!”. What, like absolute zero? Or just the most miniscule degree of temprature before it goes to solid? I started an entire thread about that I don’t know how many years ago, and I’m still confused. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/11 "2011-06-27T15:34:27Z")
If you don’t have an iPhone, you don’t have an iPhone. Seriously? This (and all its variants) annoys me to no end. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/12 "2011-06-27T15:34:39Z")
If you don’t have an iPhone, well, you don’t have an iPhone! Jinx! ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/13 "2011-06-27T15:35:42Z")
Any beer that markets itself as being “cold” is automatically off my list of items worth drinking, since the coldness of a beer is determined by the refrigeration used to keep it cold, not by the beer itself. If the best thing you can think of to say about your product is that it is cold, you’ve got a problem, particularly when you’re suggesting that the temperature is inherent to the product, which it obviously isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/14 "2011-06-27T15:37:13Z")
“Four out of five doctors recommend…” And any celebrity endorsement. And draping a voluptuous, usually scantily clothed female over a car to sell it. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/15 "2011-06-27T15:39:02Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > “Switching to GEICO could save you up to 15% or more on your car insurance.” Yeah, that’s my favorite one, although not GEICO specifically. Any form of advertisement that proclaims “up to X or more” is silly. The plump grapes-\>raisins makes perfect sense, though. If you start off with a not-very-fleshy grape you get a not-very-fleshy raisin. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/16 "2011-06-27T15:39:46Z")
Free Delivery. Nothing is free. They are charging you somewhere else. All that free deliver means is, they charge you for delivery even if you come in and pick it up! ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/17 "2011-06-27T15:46:06Z")
Similar to MMM’s: There’s a 16 oz. bottle of dishwashing soap in the office kitchen which says: **45% MORE!** Than competitor’s 11 oz size. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/18 "2011-06-27T15:46:11Z")
“No [insert product] is better!”, with variants on the verbage: “No peanut butter is creamier!” “No floor cleaner gets your floors shinier!” Um…okay. Doesn’t that just mean they’re potentially all about the same, except for your packaging? It doesn’t tell me your product is _superior_, just that it’s not inferior. ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/19 "2011-06-27T15:54:28Z")
Ivory Soap is 99 and 44/100% pure. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/20 "2011-06-27T15:57:16Z")
Hair care products _with micro-nutrients!_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024.md?page=2)