# Favorite meaningless advertising claims **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 27, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024 "2011-06-27T14:48:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/21 "2011-06-27T16:03:02Z")
Also from Geico, Progressive, Allstate, and other insurance ads: People who switch to our company save an average of $X. Of course those that switch saved–that’s the main reason they switched. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/22 "2011-06-27T16:08:41Z")
Extra-Strength. (Stolen from Jerry Seinfeld) _What happened to Strength? Strength is off the market!_ ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/23 "2011-06-27T16:10:12Z")
From a long time ago, a hairspray commercial: “MosquitoSpit Hairspray will hold your hair longer than any aerosol can.” Leaving unanswered the question as to whether it would hold longer than a pump spray. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/24 "2011-06-27T16:12:15Z")
The Coney Island lunch in Johnstown, PA used to have on its sign: “Best coffee in USA”. Dang, it’s amazing they could stay open after all the money they must have spent evaluating every joint that sells coffee in the entire United States. Delta Airlines used to have the slogan “Delta gets you there”. I don’t know about anyone else, but actually completing my journey is pretty much the minimum I expect from an airline. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/25 "2011-06-27T16:20:28Z")
“…with Calcium!” or “…with Vitamin C!” in anything that doesn’t generally have those things. Both of which are just cheap ways for the manufacturer to make something sound healthy especially when added to fruit punches or oatmeal cookies. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/26 "2011-06-27T16:22:35Z")
My turn. Andy Rooney once commented on Shampoo bottles. They always had blurbs like “helps fight the frizzies” and “helps hair stay luxurious”, the key word being “helps.” As Rooney pointed out, all of these products “help”, but none of them claim to actually do anything. (This was many years ago, so my paraphrasing is fast and loose.) =========== I learned about advertising’s “glittering generalities” in High School; this was in the 60’s when cigarettes were advertised on all media. The example that struck me was “Salem Softness Freshnens Your Taste.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/27 "2011-06-27T16:36:53Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Both of which are just cheap ways for the manufacturer to make something sound healthy especially when added to fruit punches or oatmeal cookies. I just flashed back to “Part of a complete breakfast.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/28 "2011-06-27T16:42:02Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Delta Airlines used to have the slogan “Delta gets you there”. Similarly, SEPTA (public transit in the Philly area) once had the slogan: “[We’re Getting There.](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3591/3370582103_d8b1c4255e_o.jpg)” Yes, it does have meaning on a few levels, but it always made me wonder why we weren’t there yet. ---
**Author:** ![Turble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Turble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turble)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/29 "2011-06-27T16:45:48Z")
“If we can’t beat the competition’s price we’ll just **give** you the car.” ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/30 "2011-06-27T16:47:04Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > “…with Calcium!” or “…with Vitamin C!” in anything that doesn’t generally have those things. > > Both of which are just cheap ways for the manufacturer to make something sound healthy especially when added to fruit punches or oatmeal cookies. Or, conversely, “Gluten Free!” on things that shouldn’t have gluten, or “Cholesterol Free!” foods that shouldn’t have cholesterol. Really?! These carrots are cholesterol free?! Wow, those carrots over there don’t have a cholesterol free label, so obviously these are superior, healthier carrots! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/31 "2011-06-27T16:48:25Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > My all-time favorite is when an ad touts its product or service with “ANYTHING LESS IS NOT ENOUGH.” > > Think about it for a minute. If _anything_ less is not enough, then you’re saying that your product or service just barely meets the minimum requirements of acceptability. That’s not what they’re saying. What they are saying is “we are offering you xyz, so if you accept somebody else’s offer, you’re accepting less”. > [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > **40% More!!!** \* > > \*than our 14 oz. size. > > So the mustard folks are taking credit for the fact that 20 is 40% more than 14. Perhaps they are trying to take credit for now offering a 20 oz bottle, when in the past they just offered the 14 oz. > [@Mr.Greenjeans](#): > > If you don’t have an iPhone, you don’t have an iPhone. > > Seriously? This (and all its variants) annoys me to no end. This is after listing a string of things that you can get from iPhone and not anywhere else. Now maybe some of those are gimmicks (You get the exclusive iPhone store to download iPhone apps - duh, of course you don’t get iPhone store with an Android phone, but they have a store and apps to download), but what they are saying is “we have so many unique and special features that the only way to sum it up is to say you don’t have “the best”, i.e. our product”. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/32 "2011-06-27T17:18:00Z")
I was in the supermarket looking at the boxes of microwave popcorn and noticed the “Whole Grain!” claim on one brand. I thought that was funny, since popcorn is whole kernels of corn; how could it be anything but whole grain? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/33 "2011-06-27T17:24:37Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > This is after listing a string of things that you can get from iPhone and not anywhere else. Not exactly. With my Android phone, I can’t access Apple’s exclusive content, but I can do pretty much everything an iPhone can do with many more choices. I can’t use Apple’s App Store, but I have several places to buy apps (including the Amazon’s litigation-inducing App Store). I can buy many books from various sources, so I do have an entire bookstore in my pocket. I don’t have an iPod built in to my phone, but I have several music players available (many that are superior to an iPod). I could go on. So, their slogan is like saying: “If you’re not me, you’re not me.” Utterly meaningless! ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/34 "2011-06-27T17:38:35Z")
Lucky Strike cigarettes used the slogan “It’s Toasted” (referring to their tobacco) in their advertisements. It was pretty meaningless because all tobacco for cigarettes are toasted no matter the brand. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/35 "2011-06-27T17:45:29Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > This is a timely topic. I just returned from the grocery store; among the items I bought was a bottle of French’s mustard. The label very proudly displayed the following: > > **40% More!!!** \* > \*than our 14 oz. size. > So the mustard folks are taking credit for the fact that 20 is 40% more than 14. > mmm > [@Irishman](#): > > Perhaps they are trying to take credit for now offering a 20 oz bottle, when in the past they just offered the 14 oz. Yeah, I’m sure that’s it. :rolleyes: That’s why they used an asterisk and miniscule type for the second part. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ScatteredFrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@ScatteredFrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScatteredFrog)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/36 "2011-06-27T17:48:59Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > Lucky Strike cigarettes used the slogan “It’s Toasted” (referring to their tobacco) in their advertisements. It was pretty meaningless because all tobacco for cigarettes are toasted no matter the brand. Similar to beers whose advertisements use the phrase “cold-filtered.” ALL beers are cold-filtered. Kinda like Wall Drug in South Dakota boosted their business by advertising free ice water when at the time it was standard for ANY drug store to offer free ice water. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/37 "2011-06-27T17:57:11Z")
I had some moisturizing body wash whose bottle read “Provides daily moisture.” Um, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/38 "2011-06-27T17:58:56Z")
Any product or service which is touted as “very unique,” “truly unique” or “more unique.” Something’s either unique or it isn’t, dammit. No modifiers! > [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > Extra-Strength. > > (Stolen from Jerry Seinfeld) _What happened to Strength? Strength is off the market!_ LOL. Seinfeld also went on to say, “It’s like the advertising guys went to the chemists and said, 'Make it strong enough to kill me, thennnnnnnnnn just back it off a little.” ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/39 "2011-06-27T18:04:02Z")
More live nude girls :dubious: Not sure I would want to go to a bar and pay to see dead nude girls, and there is a limit to how many nude girls live or dead that you can fit on a strip clubs stage and be able to dance. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/40 "2011-06-27T18:27:57Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Any form of advertisement that proclaims “up to X or more” is silly. yeah, that’s one of my faves too. Forgot to mention it. “We’ll give you some completely undetermined number of $ for your gold!” > [@pulykamell](#): > > The plump grapes-\>raisins makes perfect sense, though. If you start off with a not-very-fleshy grape you get a not-very-fleshy raisin. Well, I’m no raisin making expert, but I’m still not buying it. Fleshy, OK, but juicy? How can it matter if a former grape was juicy when you remove the juice from it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024.md?page=3)