# Favorite meaningless advertising claims **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 27, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024 "2011-06-27T14:48:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/61 "2011-06-27T20:00:00Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > The Gluten Free label is actually really helpful to my mom. She has migraines and one of the new things her doctor wants her to try to help them is to not eat gluten. She’s in her fifties and her whole life she has never had to worry about gluten before so there are a lot of items she is unsure of if she can have it or not. Obviously labeling an apple gluten free is fucking retarded but for things like cereal it’s great. Instead of her having to read the ingrediant list on all 500 different kinds of cereal she can just grab the box with the label on the front and be on her way. Yes, I know. Apples are exactly the sort of thing I’m talking about, though. Or salad mixes (without croutons or glazed nuts) or cheese or fruit juice. I’ve seen gluten free on all kinds of minimally processed foods which one would have to work really hard to get gluten into. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/62 "2011-06-27T20:01:57Z")
> [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > Extra-Strength. > > (Stolen from Jerry Seinfeld) _What happened to Strength? Strength is off the market!_ He continued that riff: “This one’s fast acting. But this one’s long lasting. When do I want to feel better? Now? Or later?” ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/63 "2011-06-27T20:12:09Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > He continued that riff: “This one’s fast acting. But this one’s long lasting. When do I want to feel better? Now? Or later?” This one is absolutely true, at least for me. When I feel crappy, I can either take 2 ibuprofen (which will take effect in 5-7 minutes but wear off in 3 hours) or 1 naproxen sodium (which takes 15-20 minutes to work, but lasts for 6 hours). That’s why it’s a funny bit! ---
**Author:** ![Rain\_Soaked](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@Rain\_Soaked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rain_Soaked)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/64 "2011-06-27T20:51:50Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Free Delivery. Nothing is free. They are charging you somewhere else. All that free deliver means is, they charge you for delivery even if you come in and pick it up! Or as most take out restaurants put it: “Free Delivery\*” “\*10% off for take out.” That does not mean free delivery… ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/65 "2011-06-27T21:05:23Z")
A local dental reconstruction office takes CT scans of the patient’s face. On their ad a doctor exclaims, “It’s like having x-ray vision!” Yes, it’s pretty much EXACTLY like having x-ray vision, you tool. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/66 "2011-06-27T21:43:18Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > yeah, that’s one of my faves too. Forgot to mention it. “We’ll give you some completely undetermined number of $ for your gold!” > > Well, I’m no raisin making expert, but I’m still not buying it. Fleshy, OK, but juicy? How can it matter if a former grape was juicy when you remove the juice from it? Raisins are made by removing water but all the sugars and solids remain. Presumably a more juicy grape would make a raisin that’s sweeter and more grape tasting. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/67 "2011-06-27T22:19:57Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > Hair care products _with micro-nutrients!_ “European Formula!” Because our American scientists have been so busy coming up with telephones and television and computers and life-saving pharmaceuticals that they just haven’t had time to keep up with those cutting-edge hair-and-skin-care wizards in _Europe_! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2011, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/68 "2011-06-27T22:44:08Z")
> [@Paintcharge](#): > > Ivory Soap is 99 and 44/100% pure. This is the rare case of an advertising claim that actually means sometrhing. The folks at Ivory defined soap as “the salt of a fatty acid” (which really is what you mean by soap in everyday life, believe it or not), and determined that they got really good product yield from their production process 0-- no more than 0.56% unreacted material or contaminants. This actually meant something back in the day when people made their own lye soap, and there could be a lot of unreacted lye left over. I suspect that just about every soap today is that “pure”, so it’s not a big deal anymore, but it has history behind it. It has absolutely nothing to do with wether or not the product floats, even though they try to make it seem that way. You could have 100% pure soap that would sink. Soap will float, as has been pointed out many times, if its density is less than that of water. One way to do that is to whip it up so it containbs a lot of air, which doesn’t mean it’s pure. ---
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/69 "2011-06-28T00:58:02Z")
I don’t remember the full quote but on an episode of Car Talk, Tom ranted for a few moments on “Four out of five people suffer from diarrhea. What? Does this mean that the fifth person enjoys it?” ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/70 "2011-06-28T01:02:28Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > There are also all the diet pills that say things like, “Helps you lose weight when combined with diet and exercise.” You know what else helps you lose weight? Diet and exercise. I’m not sure I agree with your logic. It’s not prima facie ridiculous to imagine a product which will do nothing by itself, but which will, if you diet and exercise and do other things which would cause you to lose weight, cause you to lose more weight than you otherwise would; or alternatively a product which does some psychopharmacological thing which makes it easier for most people to diet and/or exercise. The above sentence seems like a reasonable description for either of those products. > [@Shoeless](#): > > Back in college I had a roommate who liked to buy those “soft batch” chocolate chip cookies. One day he came home from the store with a package of the cookies that said “20% more chips!” on the label. I said “You know what that means? You get 20% less cookie.” I can’t agree with your analysis there. First of all, what you probably mean is “20% less of the part of the cookie that isn’t chips”, ie, “20% less dough” or something like that. The total amount of cookie probably remains constant, given that cookie is dough + chips. Even ignoring that pedantry, however, your math is still wrong, because if the cookies were originally 90% dough and 10% cookies, then increasing the amount of cookies by 20% means you end up at 88% dough and 12% cookies, for a decrease in dough of around 2.2%. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/71 "2011-06-28T01:19:09Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Of course things can be more or less unique. The word loses all meaning otherwise. As an example, every tree is a little different from every other tree, so if there’s only one degree of uniqueness, then we’re forced to say that all trees are unique. But a single gingko in the middle of a stand of thousands of oaks has a claim to be more unique than the oak that just happens to be the only one to have its first branching exactly 13.724 feet above the ground. Sorry, no. The point you’re making shows that you are treating “unique” as a synonym of “unusual,” which is is not. Things can indeed be more or less unusual, because “unusual” is a relative term, but “unique” is an absolute term. It does not take modifiers. Nor does it follow from your argument (that every tree is different from every other tree in some respect) that the word “unique” has no meaning; on the contrary, your argument is the _essence_ of the meaning of “unique.” Every tree IS unique in some way, but that does NOT mean that any of them is MORE unique than any other, because there is no such thing. Any editor worth his or her salt (and I am one) would respond to your marking copy with that objection either by replacing “unique” with “unusual” or by stetting it. Words have meanings, **Chronos** , whether you like it or not. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/72 "2011-06-28T01:29:59Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > Sorry, no. The point you’re making shows that you are treating “unique” as a synonym of “unusual,” which is is not. Things can indeed be more or less unusual, because “unusual” is a relative term, but “unique” is an absolute term. It does not take modifiers. Nor does it follow from your argument (that every tree is different from every other tree in some respect) that the word “unique” has no meaning; on the contrary, your argument is the _essence_ of the meaning of “unique.” Every tree IS unique in some way, but that does NOT mean that any of them is MORE unique than any other, because there is no such thing. Any editor worth his or her salt (and I am one) would respond to your marking copy with that objection either by replacing “unique” with “unusual” or by stetting it. > > Words have meanings, **Chronos** , whether you like it or not. I agree with Chronos for all the reasons he said and disagree with you. Out in the real world, everything is, technically, unique. You’ll never find for me two physical macro-sized objects that are unique down to the submolecular level. So either the word unique has no meaning when describing actual things we interact with, or it can be modified and tuned to be useful in whatever context one is speaking in. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/73 "2011-06-28T02:00:45Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > I agree with Chronos for all the reasons he said and disagree with you. Out in the real world, everything is, technically, unique. You’ll never find for me two physical macro-sized objects that are unique down to the submolecular level. So either the word unique has no meaning when describing actual things we interact with, or it can be modified and tuned to be useful in whatever context one is speaking in. I agree with **Chronos** , too. Merriam-Webster [has an interesting usage note.](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/unique) > [@](#): > > Many commentators have objected to the comparison or modification (as by somewhat or very) of unique, often asserting that a thing is either unique or it is not. Objections are based chiefly on the assumption that unique has but a single absolute sense, an assumption contradicted by information readily available in a dictionary. Unique dates back to the 17th century but was little used until the end of the 18th when, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, it was reacquired from French. H. J. Todd entered it as a foreign word in his edition (1818) of Johnson’s Dictionary, characterizing it as “affected and useless.” Around the middle of the 19th century it ceased to be considered foreign and came into considerable popular use. With popular use came a broadening of application beyond the original two meanings (here numbered 1 and 2a). **In modern use both comparison and modification are widespread and standard** but are confined to the extended senses 2b and 3. When sense 1 or sense 2a is intended, unique is used without qualifying modifiers. Emphasis mine. Yes, were I an editor (and when I did copy edit), I would change “unique” to “unusual” or whatnot, because there are still people who insist the word cannot be qualified. I disagree. It can be qualified, and it routinely _is_ qualified. Words _do_ have meanings, and often more than one. ---
**Author:** ![Prox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/da6949/32.png) [@Prox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prox)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/74 "2011-06-28T03:50:07Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Really?! These carrots are cholesterol free?! Wow, those carrots over there don’t have a cholesterol free label, so obviously these are superior, healthier carrots! Likewise, candy with something like “Always a FAT free product!” Really? This solid hunk of sugar has no fat you say? Well hot damn, I’m eating these for every meal now! _gains 20 pounds_ _cries_ ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/75 "2011-06-28T03:50:27Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > My contribution to the thread: Nestle’s Sweet Success. It’s the only diet plan that starts with Nestle, and ends with Sweet Success. Yeah, I get it: You have a trademark on your name. This is a big deal? Any commercial with a line to the effect of “Remember, Company X – the only one with Company X’s trademarked logo on the van” or “Remember, Company X – the only one that sells Company X’s trademarked product” makes me appreciate the wisdom of NOT putting another company’s logo on your vehicles or selling other companies’ stuff. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/76 "2011-06-28T04:07:05Z")
“Triple hops brewed” makes me see red. Miller is referring to hop additions which is just the name for when you add hops to your wort during the boil. Doing it three times is meaningless. It’s the quantity of hops added and at what point during the boil they’re added that makes all the difference. Adding hops towards the beginning of the boil provides bitterness, while the towards the end provides aroma. Dogfish Head brewery has a 90 Minute IPA in which hops are continuously added for 90 minutes. By Miller’s ridiculous terminology that would be n‑tuple hops brewed. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/77 "2011-06-28T04:10:30Z")
“Unique,” as modified _ad nauseam_ in advertising, is pretty much meaningless. They mean to say “terribly exclusive,” “really special” or “super terrific,” not that their product is literally unique. Hence my objection. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/78 "2011-06-28T04:17:05Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I agree with **Chronos** , too. Merriam-Webster [has an interesting usage note.](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/unique) > > Emphasis mine. > > Yes, were I an editor (and when I did copy edit), I would change “unique” to “unusual” or whatnot, because there are still people who insist the word cannot be qualified. I disagree. It can be qualified, and it routinely _is_ qualified. Words _do_ have meanings, and often more than one. Just because usage is widespread doesn’t mean it’s correct. “Irregardless” is widespread. And your pointing to the dictionary is unconvincing to me, because first of all, the very usage note you cite says not to use modifiers with “unique” in its primary meaning, i.e. “in a class by itself,” but only if you’re using it as a synonym for “unusual” – which, I repeat, a careful writer should not do. And the reason that writer shouldn’t use “unique” in the sense of “unusual” is not because dusty pedants like me will squawk from our ivory towers and you should humor us, but because there are perfectly serviceable words that actually mean what you’re trying to say. English is a living, changing language – but there’s a difference between something like the word “stink” evolving from meaning simply a smell to meaning a BAD smell and anointing incorrect usage just because “everybody does it.” You’re free to disagree, but that doesn’t mean your opinion is as valid as mine. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/79 "2011-06-28T04:24:08Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I just flashed back to “Part of a complete breakfast.” This wasn’t really a claim, though - it was more of a mandated disclaimer. _WeSaySo Corporation in no way suggest that **Sugar Coco Soda Puffs®** are an adequately nutritious breakfast._ ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/80 "2011-06-28T04:26:44Z")
Another shampoo one (I noticed that shampoo has been mentioned more than any other product besides beer) is how one of the upscale, premium brands has something on the label about “Professional Formula” or “Preferred By Professionals” and when I first noticed it (truthfully, I may have actually been a bit “herbally enhanced” upon reading it) I thought “Professional who?” Are there people who wash their hair professionally? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024.md?page=5)