# Favorite meaningless advertising claims **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 27, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024 "2011-06-27T14:48:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![No\_umlaut\_for\_U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@No\_umlaut\_for\_U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_umlaut_for_U)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/101 "2011-06-28T15:57:00Z")
I’m not sure powder v. liquid is meaningless in the laundry detergent department. If I’m trudging off to the laundromat, I want powder. Lighter and easier to scrape up if spilled. If I have a home machine, I want liquid that I can pour on a spot to pre-treat. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/102 "2011-06-28T15:58:22Z")
I was in a hotel this weekend, and the little shampoo bottle proudly informed me that it contained juniper, ginger, and, I don’t remember, let’s say tarragon, for healthy hair. I want a damn detergent for my hair, not a salad dressing. ---
**Author:** ![Stormcrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/0ea827/32.png) [@Stormcrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stormcrow)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/103 "2011-06-28T15:58:56Z")
I remember an extra-strength pain reliever ad way back in the day that used charts to compare their strength to other pain relievers on the market - they always showed their extra strength vs the other brands regular strength product. I always wanted to yell at the TV when that came on. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/104 "2011-06-28T16:09:38Z")
If you want a good book on advertising claims (written in the 1970s, but much of it still relevant) pick up Carl P. Wrighter’s **I Can Sell You Anything** > **[I Can Sell You Anything: Carl P. Wrighter: 9780345284624: Amazon.com: Books](https://www.amazon.com/I-Can-Sell-You-Anything/dp/0345284623)** > > I Can Sell You Anything \[Carl P. Wrighter\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. I Can Sell You Anything The book , by a former ad copywriter, goes through what all the weasel words and phrases are, and which ones mean something and which don’t. Definitely a worthwhile read. The one thing that surprised me was that you could apparently claim your product to be the best, because everyone does, and unless you make a very specific claim it’s hard to refute. Therefore, calling your product “the best”, unless tied to a specific claim, is meaningless. But you have to be careful about saying your product is better than someone else’s, even if you aren’t being very specific. That does imply something testable, and people will take you to court over it. So most “better than” claims are either to earlier versions of their own product, or to un-named competitors, or else are specific to something provable (in a taste test, 12% more people chose Pepsi over Coke") ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/105 "2011-06-28T16:14:44Z")
> [@ScatteredFrog](#): > > Similar to beers whose advertisements use the phrase “cold-filtered.” ALL beers are cold-filtered. Actually, that’s not quite such a meaningless thing. Breweries that cold filter chill the beer slightly below freezing, which, along with some fining agents that may be added, has the effect of making all sorts of proteinaceous compounds insoluble at that temperature, which are then filtered out along with the yeast. These compounds tend to add a certain amount of flavor and body, but also contribute to haze and accelerated staling, so it has a net positive effect, especially on lighter lagers. However, the stupid part is that the ads imply that “cold filtering” somehow makes the beer more “smooth”, whatever that means. The all-time stupidest and meaningless beer ad campaign is the “No more bitter beer face” ads from Keystone. First, beer’s supposed to be bitter. If it wasn’t at least slightly bitter, it would be really strange tasting. Second, there’s no real difference between the bitterness levels of Keystone vs. their competitors like Bud Light, MGD, etc… > [@](#): > > “Triple hops brewed” makes me see red. This one’s a braindead one; they don’t define whether they mean 3 types of hops, 3 additions at various times of the boil, or anything. Beyond that, it’s not like it’s perceptible in a 15 IBU light lager with no hop flavor or aroma like Miller Lite anyway. Miller Lite’s tornado bottle(or whatever it’s called) is also particularly bad- so they’re telling us that we WANT a bottle that churns up the beer and makes it lose it’s fizz as you pour it? ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/106 "2011-06-28T16:25:00Z")
> [@Lare](#): > > I maintain that it is indeed only 79c. It’s hardly the hard-working copywriter’s fault if you weren’t aware of the price before this. > > Seriously, though, I do know what you’re saying and agree that this is a slimy thing to do. But I don’t think anyone was mislead. It’s not like they claimed that they lowered the price, they didn’t even mention a price change. I see it as not very different from saying that something is “only 79c” instead of much more. Relatively speaking. My favorite instance of this sort of come-on is the cranberry juice company who advertised that their brand had “more food energy units” than the competition. The FCC (of which–full disclosure–I strongly disapprove) actually made them run an apologetic anti-commercial. I’m with Herbert Spencer on this one: “The ultimate result of shielding man from the effects of folly is to people the world with fools.” ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/107 "2011-06-28T16:57:32Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Of course **I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!** The secret ingredient is butter! I used to joke with my friends that the local religious-goods store used to sell “I Have Faith That It’s Butter” and “I Refuse In The Face Of All Evidence To Believe That It’s Not Butter” or even “You Can’t Convince Me It’s Not Butter.” ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/108 "2011-06-28T17:22:58Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Of course **I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!** The secret ingredient is butter! It actually contains [buttermilk](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttermilk). I think I’ll open a separate thread to discuss whether buttermilk = butter. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/109 "2011-06-28T17:35:59Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > I used to joke with my friends that the local religious-goods store used to sell “I Have Faith That It’s Butter” and “I Refuse In The Face Of All Evidence To Believe That It’s Not Butter” or even “You Can’t Convince Me It’s Not Butter.” They’re still working on the rapture, but they can tell you when the butter will expire. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/110 "2011-06-28T17:38:40Z")
> [@](#): > > I remember an extra-strength pain reliever ad way back in the day that used charts to compare their strength to other pain relievers on the market - they always showed their extra strength vs the other brands regular strength product. I always wanted to yell at the TV when that came on. This reminds me of another one. One of the spaghetti sauce companies used to have commercials showing how their sauce was thicker than their competitors. I think it was Prego, vs. Ragu Old-World Style. But of course, Old-World Style is _supposed_ to be thin-- That’s what makes it Old-World Style. If you took the regular brands of both, you could stick up a breadstick in either. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/111 "2011-06-28T17:44:12Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > I used to joke with my friends that the local religious-goods store used to sell “I Have Faith That It’s Butter” and “I Refuse In The Face Of All Evidence To Believe That It’s Not Butter” or even “You Can’t Convince Me It’s Not Butter.” When spreading this stuff, I always ask for the I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Butter Knife. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/112 "2011-06-28T17:56:29Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > My contribution to the thread: Nestle’s Sweet Success. It’s the only diet plan that starts with Nestle, and ends with Sweet Success. Yeah, I get it: You have a trademark on your name. This is a big deal? Not quite the same, but this reminded me of: Jamie Lee Curtis says to eat Poops-A-Lot yogurt, the only yogurt with “_Bifida Regularis_ ™(R)(c)(handsoff)”. Being able to patent a nominally different strain of bacteria (with a ridiculous name) than the other yogurt has helps make you sound special. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/113 "2011-06-28T17:59:05Z")
> [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > It actually contains [buttermilk](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttermilk). I think I’ll open a separate thread to discuss whether buttermilk = butter. It doesn’t. From the other thread: > [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > I meant that it contains salt and cream. It doesn’t contain cream. It contains “Natural Sweet Cream _Buttermilk_.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/114 "2011-06-28T18:09:39Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > It doesn’t. > > From the other thread: > > It doesn’t contain cream. It contains “Natural Sweet Cream _Buttermilk_.” Huh. Consider my ignorance fought. So – have I now got this right? – you skim off “sweet cream buttermilk” when churning sweet cream to make salted butter, and then use a little salt and that “sweet cream buttermilk” as ingredients when making ICBINB? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/115 "2011-06-28T18:13:00Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Delta Airlines used to have the slogan “Delta gets you there”. I don’t know about anyone else, but actually completing my journey is pretty much the minimum I expect from an airline. For some reason, this reminded me of my local cable company. In addition to the commercials they run explaining how the “pause” button works (something most of us figured out well over 20 years ago), they actually include the following slogan: “The future is here. The future is coming.” ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/116 "2011-06-28T18:30:01Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Huh. Consider my ignorance fought. So – have I now got this right? – you skim off “sweet cream buttermilk” when churning sweet cream to make salted butter, and then use a little salt and that “sweet cream buttermilk” as ingredients when making ICBINB? After the cream is churned, the butter is separated from what’s now buttermilk, which is low in fat. That’s what _real_ buttermilk is, which is what it looks like is in ICBINB according to the ingredients list. The _fake_ stuff is milk (whole, skim, etc.) which has a lactic acid bacteria culture added to it. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/117 "2011-06-28T19:06:40Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > “Now only 79c” makes it seem as though the price were higher at first. Why tack on the word “only” and have the big flashing lights if you’re not suggesting the price has been lowered? No one said the ad wasn’t accurate; she said it was misleading, which it was. Yep. Clever ad-writers there. Maybe I’m missing something [here](http://www.groupon.co.uk/deals/london-special/nash-wellbeing/480651), but I don’t think they really meant to offer food _in_sensitivity testing. I mean, it’s all bollocks anyway - in the UK a ‘qualified’ nutritionist is meaningless and the whole process is bunkum - but you’d think they’d at least get the word right. My daughter also loves the insurance (I think?) ads that promise a ‘free Parker pen.’ she like stationery and we both know that a Parker pen can be bought for about 3 quid. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/118 "2011-06-28T19:15:40Z")
> [@Lare](#): > > I don’t remember the full quote but on an episode of Car Talk, Tom ranted for a few moments on “Four out of five people suffer from diarrhea. What? Does this mean that the fifth person enjoys it?” Hah, that reminds me of something else they mentioned one time - car repair places with the motto “We specialize in all makes and models - foreign and domestic!” > [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > I used to joke with my friends that the local religious-goods store used to sell “I Have Faith That It’s Butter” and “I Refuse In The Face Of All Evidence To Believe That It’s Not Butter” or even “You Can’t Convince Me It’s Not Butter.” I always thought there should be a knock-off version of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/119 "2011-06-28T19:19:53Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I always thought there should be a knock-off version of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”. Now that my first claim has been debunked, I’m curious: could they legally sell butter under the **I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter** name? I mean, all you’re saying is that you can’t believe it’s not butter – which, as it happens, truly _ **is** _ something I can’t believe about butter… ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/120 "2011-06-28T20:13:27Z")
And shouldn’t it really be called, “YOU Won’t Believe It’s Not Butter?” They need to do a better job of convincing me than just saying that THEY believe it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024.md?page=7)