# Favorite meaningless advertising claims **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 27, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024 "2011-06-27T14:48:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/161 "2011-07-03T07:12:40Z")
> [@loshan](#): > > I didn’t read the thread past here (yet), but I am itching (literally?) to say “Dove Nutrium Moisture”. > > WTH is “nutrium”? Swamp rat sweat? 😕 :mad: “Dove for Men” shampoo works because of its “Micromoisture serum.” ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/162 "2011-07-03T07:47:19Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > Yes. Many years ago I worked with a guy whose promotional material (business cards, vehicle decals, etc) were marked “Panther Security - _Specializing in Residential and Commercial Installations_.” He could _not_ be made to see how stupid that looked. Maybe he doesn’t do installations that are ecclesiastical, charitable or governmental? ---
**Author:** ![Ronald\_C.Semone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cc9497/32.png) [@Ronald\_C.Semone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ronald_C.Semone)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/163 "2011-07-03T13:34:22Z")
When I was growing up in the 40s there was a health supplement called “Serutan” (Do they still sell it?) which was widely advertised on the radio with the slogan "Serutan…Remember, it’s “Natures” spelled backwards. Even as kids we said “So what?” And we used to go around saying things like “Eat Cherios, it’s Soirehc spelled backwards.” ---
**Author:** ![Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prelude_to_Fascination)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/164 "2011-07-03T13:42:01Z")
My all-time favorite meaningless ad line was from a local AOR radio station. They had a fictional sponsor called Brute Force Cybernetics, whose slogan was, “We create a need. Then fill it.” ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/165 "2011-07-03T15:55:42Z")
This is from so long ago I can’t remember the brand. But there was a tire commercial that said (and I swear this is true) “It’s metric so it holds more air.” Say what??? ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/166 "2011-07-03T16:34:55Z")
> [@Ronald\_C.Semone](#): > > When I was growing up in the 40s there was a health supplement called “Serutan” (Do they still sell it?) which was widely advertised on the radio with the slogan "Serutan…Remember, it’s “Natures” spelled backwards. It was still advertised on TV well into the 60’s with that slogan. It was a laxative. And even as an idiot kid (I was ten in 1960) I too found the phrase a bit silly. “Natures” spelled backwards?? WTF?" . ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/167 "2011-07-03T17:03:25Z")
Allstate brags that they have accident forgiveness and that they send you a refund check each year if you don’t have an accident. Separately those would be good things for your customers but when you do both, it basically means you are precharging your customers for an accident and then giving them the money back if they don’t have one. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus\_alba](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quercus_alba/32/4061_2.png) [@Quercus\_alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus_alba)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/168 "2011-07-03T22:14:56Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Yes, to both of these questions. It’s not misleading at all - many drugs, from Tylenol to anti-depressants, have unknown mechanisms of action. And anti-depressants do increase (not just don’t treat effectively, but increase) the incidence of suicidal thoughts or action, especially in particular populations like adolescents. That needs to be made known so people watch out for it and seek help. And so the lawyers can point to the text after the fact and say “We told you so–so it wasn’t OUR fault!” ---
**Author:** ![Quercus\_alba](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quercus_alba/32/4061_2.png) [@Quercus\_alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus_alba)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/169 "2011-07-03T22:20:12Z")
> [@Lare](#): > > I would take it to mean that everything gets routed through North Dakota. 🙂 Or run through a brush chipper… ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/170 "2011-07-04T14:48:05Z")
Suppose you have a no-leak warranty on a coffin/casket. Does anyone ever collect if the thing springs a leak? ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/171 "2011-07-04T15:03:28Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Suppose you have a no-leak warranty on a coffin/casket. > Does anyone ever collect if the thing springs a leak? Good question. Locally, there are actually a couple of cemeteries being relocated. I assume that if any of the families bought such a warranty (and the warranty company is still in business) that they could now collect. ---
**Author:** ![randwill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@randwill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randwill)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/172 "2011-07-04T15:32:36Z")
Any ad where the advertiser claims to “care about you”. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/173 "2011-07-04T16:46:08Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > “It’s a floor wax..it’s DESSERT TOPPING” > Seriously..what does "100% organic"mean anyway? Is coffee that is NOT 100% organic partly inorganic? That would be a selling point. I understand that organic is a method of cultivation, but we amuse ourselves by adding after commercials that flaunt their “organicness” by saying, “So is arsenic! So is dogshit!” 😃 > [@loshan](#): > > I didn’t read the thread past here (yet), but I am itching (literally?) to say “Dove Nutrium Moisture”. > > WTH is “nutrium”? Swamp rat sweat? 😕 :mad: > [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > “Dove for Men” shampoo works because of its “Micromoisture serum.” Those are good examples of the cosmetic industry idiocy. > [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](#): > > My all-time favorite meaningless ad line was from a local AOR radio station. They had a fictional sponsor called Brute Force Cybernetics, whose slogan was, “We create a need. Then fill it.” They missed a beat - the last line should have been, “Whether you want us to or not.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/174 "2011-07-04T17:20:38Z")
Actually, arsenic _isn’t_ organic. Cyanide, strychnine, and curare are, though; you might want to use one of them instead. ---
**Author:** ![Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prelude_to_Fascination)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/175 "2011-07-04T18:51:01Z")
I remember a genuine ad for Diet Coke, and I’ve googled it and searched on youtube with no luck. Maybe someone else remembers this, or can find it. The line in question is a male yuppie type who tries to convince us to try Diet Coke because, “It’s conducive to my own personal lifestyle!” ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/176 "2011-07-06T13:46:22Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > But Tylenol doesn’t claim that it is believed to work by… It does in drug books. I’m thinking the reason it’s not mentioned in the ad is because it’s OTC, so it doesn’t have to be mentioned at all. OTC advertising and Rx advertising have different FDA rules about what they need to reveal in advertising, like side effects and proposed or actual mechanism of action. > [@](#): > > Image how successful an OTC pain reliever would be if: > > 1. It only helped 1/3 of the people who took it. > 2. Other drugs were recommended if it didn’t help you. > 3. It increased pain in some people. I’m trying to catch up on threads (been out of town w/no internet for almost a week), so I’m not going to take the time to look it up at the moment, but I would not be at all surprised if 1 and 2 were true of Tylenol (and ibuprofen and naproxen sodium). Docs routinely recommend trying one of the three and switching if you don’t find adequate relief. No one really knows why, but some people are “Tylenol” people and some are “ibuprofen” people. Me, I’m a naproxen gal; Tylenol and ibuprofen at OTC doses just don’t do it for me. And, of course, 3 is true of OTC pain meds, too, if you include stomach upset and gastric erosion as “increased pain”. They may not make your headache worse, but they may give you a nice ulcerated stomach to go with your headache! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/177 "2011-07-06T15:22:57Z")
Okay, new one that’s been driving me nuts. It’s for some cereal bar or something with whole grain in it. It features some dipshit throwing her clothes into a charity bin because she’s lost enough weight that she can’t fit them anymore. When asked how she lost the weight, she comments that she’s eating these cereal bars, or whatever they are. The announcer comes on and says something along the lines of “People who choose to eat whole grains tend to weigh less than those who don’t.” Oh god… ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/178 "2011-07-06T15:46:56Z")
I’ve been puzzled about a restaurant ad on the radio this week. They are talking about ribs, and how slow-cooked they are, and then mention the price of a half rack, and then a full rack. And then, the disclaimer comes on “Price is for dine-in or take-out only.” What other option is there? Am I missing something? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Cowboy8467](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Cowboy8467](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowboy8467)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/179 "2011-07-06T16:00:00Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I’ve been puzzled about a restaurant ad on the radio this week. They are talking about ribs, and how slow-cooked they are, and then mention the price of a half rack, and then a full rack. And then, the disclaimer comes on “Price is for dine-in or take-out only.” > > What other option is there? Am I missing something? 😕 Delivery? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024/180 "2011-07-06T16:08:04Z")
> [@Cowboy8467](#): > > Delivery? By golly, you’re probably correct. Although it’s a restaurant and not a pizza-type joint. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-meaningless-advertising-claims/587024.md?page=10)