# Favorite Orifice? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2013, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900 "2013-01-31T09:13:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/1 "2013-01-31T09:13:35Z")
I have a feeling which way this poll is going to go ahead of time, but I am just dying to know. What’s you’re favorite orifice, and why? I’d like to reserve my answer for later, but if you know me from my posting history you can probably guess it rather easily. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/2 "2013-01-31T09:57:02Z")
The door to my refrigerator. ---
**Author:** ![Diamonds02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Diamonds02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diamonds02)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/3 "2013-01-31T10:52:41Z")
Tear ducts. I heard that some people can actually squirt things from them. So cooool 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/4 "2013-01-31T11:23:18Z")
I’m not sure how to vote. The only vagina I really like is my own. But then I do like it rather a lot. On other people I think mouths are nifty. Versatile things. Taste, sound, sensitive to touch. You can use it to store nails while your hands are occupied hammering one into the wall. You can use it as a source of moisture if the face of someone you love (very, very much) is dirty. If you want to feel something that is very small or sensitive, try feeling it with your upper lip. I find it’s more sensitive than my fingertips. Teeth inside the mouth are useful. Never mind munching food, how would you get labels off new clothes without teeth? Yeah I’ll go with mouth. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/5 "2013-01-31T12:49:55Z")
Very low on my personal list of favorites and I’m casting my vote for something more forward facing, but this OP is just begging for… “In the butt, Bob!” ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/6 "2013-01-31T14:20:18Z")
Doesn’t matter. Just affix “Your Mom’s…” to the beginning of any of them. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/7 "2013-01-31T14:30:47Z")
Definitely mouth. For all the reasons **gracer** listed plus, you know, _other_ oral uses. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/8 "2013-01-31T14:39:33Z")
Well, I don’t usually post to these kinds of threads, but I like drew, so. Mouths. Definitely mouths. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/9 "2013-01-31T15:14:43Z")
I’m retired; I don’t have an orifice. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/10 "2013-01-31T15:21:10Z")
can it be your favorite if you don’t have one? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/11 "2013-01-31T15:24:58Z")
After working for decades in other people’s orifices, I now have a home orifice. Much better. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/12 "2013-01-31T15:33:03Z")
I voted eye sockets. Eyes are just so cool, and the way they are set in your face, and the skull makes room for them and all that…just totes awesome. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/13 "2013-01-31T18:35:06Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Well, I don’t usually post to these kinds of threads, but I like drew, so. > > Mouths. Definitely mouths. Haha! 😃 I see what you did there! 🙂 I guess you guys have convinced me that mouths are the best orifice. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/14 "2013-01-31T18:38:02Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’m retired; I don’t have an orifice. Dentists, proctologists and gynecologists who put in overtime all work late at the orifice. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/15 "2013-01-31T20:32:45Z")
Mouths are the most versatile, but I have three favorites, and they are all my wife’s. Too hard to choose just one. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/16 "2013-01-31T20:41:55Z")
i gave at the orifice. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/17 "2013-01-31T20:44:32Z")
I’m going with the mouth, too. Again, it’s just so versatile. So many uses…so many of them pleasant. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/18 "2013-01-31T20:50:04Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’m retired; I don’t have an orifice. There’s always the post orifice. I like it when presents come from there. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2013, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-orifice/648900/19 "2013-02-01T05:33:36Z")
OP would have made his poll much clearer if he had specified the question more clearly: Which of _your own_ orifices do you like most, or which of _someone else’s_ orifices to you like most?