# favorite oxymoron **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 15, 1999, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376 "1999-08-15T05:39:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lvick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d07c76/32.png) [@lvick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lvick)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 1999, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/1 "1999-08-15T05:39:00Z")
I’ll start with the mother of all oxymorons: jumboshrimp, what’s your favorite, Larry ---
**Author:** ![radar\_ralf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@radar\_ralf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/radar_ralf)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 1999, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/2 "1999-08-15T06:19:00Z")
Oxymorons: Army Intelligence Neo-classic Deafening silence “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” And how about spoonerisms: “He’s a real fart smeller.” “…a bunch of cunning runts.” “I think you have it bass-ackwards.” A fellow named Sheb Wooley used to do parodies of stories under the name of “Ben Colder”; the one that immediately comes to mind is “Beeping Sleauty and the Pansome Hrince”, but he did several take-offs. And here are some examples of malapropism: “I think that it’s a mute point.” “Don’t take that fellow for granite.” And then there are some expressions that could have come out of the mouth of Yogi Berra: “Never eat on an empty stomach.” “You’re skating on thin water.” ---
**Author:** ![dawnbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dawnbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawnbird)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 1999, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/3 "1999-08-15T08:07:00Z")
My favorite oxymoron is high-school education. * * * possibly the world’s only naive cynic ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 1999, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/4 "1999-08-15T12:02:00Z")
Pretty ugly Awfully good Original copy Initial conclusion Seriously funny And, of course, my favorite: Bad beer. * * * ¾È ³ç, ÁÖ µ¿ ÀÏ ---
**Author:** ![ebeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@ebeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebeth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/5 "1999-08-16T11:36:00Z")
What? No one mentioned Hot Chili? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/6 "1999-08-16T15:47:00Z")
German Humor. Bad Accident Bad Cold ---
**Author:** ![tetzel1517](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@tetzel1517](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tetzel1517)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/7 "1999-08-16T15:52:00Z")
Congressional Ethics ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/8 "1999-08-16T15:57:00Z")
This is stretching it, but: a song called “Ironic” that lists a bunch of situations that _aren’t_ ironic. ---
**Author:** ![Neobican](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Neobican](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neobican)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/9 "1999-08-17T05:56:00Z")
The best oxymoron is “rap music” ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/10 "1999-08-16T18:42:00Z")
Microsoft Works. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 1999, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/11 "1999-08-16T21:08:00Z")
A lawyer wrote a humorous book about his profession, in which he includes these oxymorons: Scholar-athlete Amtrak schedule Military intelligence Legal ethics Justice Rehnquist ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/12 "1999-08-17T01:11:00Z")
Authentic replica Video library Business casual Semi formal White chocolate ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/13 "1999-08-17T01:24:00Z")
ex-addict. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/14 "1999-08-17T14:49:00Z")
What’s the word for needless total repetition? (e.g. a contradictary oxymoron) ---
**Author:** ![lvick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d07c76/32.png) [@lvick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lvick)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/15 "1999-08-17T15:26:00Z")
Hospital food, and BTW Handy, you’re mistaken about recovering addicts, Larry ---
**Author:** ![Wordsmith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/47e85d/32.png) [@Wordsmith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wordsmith)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/16 "1999-08-17T15:39:00Z")
What about “Civil War?” * * * Wordsmith: One of the elite few who knows that George Herbert Walker Bush was a Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 1999, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/17 "1999-08-17T18:43:00Z")
Anyone who has ever used this company to ship anything will immediately know it’s name itself as an oxymoron: Airbourne Express * * * Brian O’Neill CMC International Records [rockuniverse.com/cmc/cmc.html](http://rockuniverse.com/cmc/cmc.html) ICQ 35294890 AIM Scrabble1 Yahoo Messenger Brian\_ONeill ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 1999, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/18 "1999-08-18T02:02:00Z")
Oh, alright then. Scratch ‘exaddict’ add, ‘recovering addict.’ No offence ivick. ---
**Author:** ![shiner\_bock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba8739/32.png) [@shiner\_bock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiner_bock)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 1999, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/19 "1999-08-19T00:36:00Z")
guest host used by The Tonight Show whenever someone would stand in for johnny carson. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 1999, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376/20 "1999-08-19T08:15:00Z")
glee…redundant? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-oxymoron/7376.md?page=2)