# Favorite Quote-Idiot Tube Division **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 16, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710 "2012-08-16T20:33:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/1 "2012-08-16T20:33:50Z")
Let’s try to avoid long lists, and just post your _single_ favorite television quote, o.k.? I was going to go with my favorite _babylon 5_ Vir quote…but deep down, I know that my favorite tv quote of all time harkens all the way back to the very first episode of _WKRP In Cincinnati_: > [@Arthur "Big Guy" Carlson](#): > > As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly! ---
**Author:** ![Rollo\_Tomasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/58956e/32.png) [@Rollo\_Tomasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rollo_Tomasi)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/2 "2012-08-16T20:46:50Z")
The sadly short-lived drama **Life** with Damian Lewis had lots of great dialogue, but one line is undoubtedly my favorite. Lewis’s character is a rich cop (for complicated reasons), and his partner asks him why he’s even working for a living when he could be lying on a beach somewhere. His response: “Do I look like I tan?” Of course, you have to know what Damian Lewis looks like for the joke to work: [http://www.washingtonpost.com/rf/image\_296w/2010-2019/WashingtonPost/2012/03/12/Style/Images/137145140.jpg?uuid=zy2UsGyHEeG2y49ABpj5fA](http://www.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_296w/2010-2019/WashingtonPost/2012/03/12/Style/Images/137145140.jpg?uuid=zy2UsGyHEeG2y49ABpj5fA) ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/3 "2012-08-16T20:51:40Z")
“To alcohol! The cause of… and solution to… all of life’s problems.” ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/4 "2012-08-16T20:54:17Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Let’s try to avoid long lists, and just post your _single_ favorite television quote, o.k.? > I was going to go with my favorite _babylon 5_ Vir quote…but deep down, I know that my favorite tv quote of all time harkens all the way back to the very first episode of _WKRP In Cincinnati_: Not to be snarky, but that wasn’t on the first episode, although it was in the first season. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/5 "2012-08-16T20:58:38Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > Not to be snarky, but that wasn’t on the first episode, although it was in the first season. As Ed McMahon said to Karnak The Magnificent > [@](#): > > You are correct, sir! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/6 "2012-08-16T21:01:14Z")
There are a million things in this universe you can have and a million things you can’t have. It’s no fun facing that, but that’s the way things are. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/7 "2012-08-16T21:02:38Z")
My favorite one is from Abe “Grampa” Simpson, although it’s probably not that well-known. “Marge, you wouldn’t know how to have fun if you were a monkey on a banana boat.” ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/8 "2012-08-16T21:05:56Z")
Dammit,\*\* Czarcasm\*\* your limit of one quote per customer forces me to choose among many great ones from Babylon 5. I’m going to go with: Delenn: \*Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else. \* ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/9 "2012-08-16T21:09:18Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Dammit,\*\* Czarcasm\*\* your limit of one quote per customer forces me to choose among many great ones from Babylon 5. I’m going to go with: > > Delenn: \*Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else. \* I’ll bet you a 22 ounce bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale we had pretty much the same list of B5 quotes. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/10 "2012-08-16T21:14:05Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I’ll bet you a 22 ounce bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale we had pretty much the same list of B5 quotes. I’ll drink to that. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/11 "2012-08-16T21:23:57Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > I’ll drink to that. > 🆒 Here’s hoping that when(not if) someone gives that Vir quote, they provide a You Tube link. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/12 "2012-08-16T21:24:55Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Let’s try to avoid long lists, and just post your _single_ favorite television quote, o.k.? > I was going to go with my favorite _babylon 5_ Vir quote…but deep down, I know that my favorite tv quote of all time harkens all the way back to the very first episode of _WKRP In Cincinnati_: Quote: Originally Posted by Arthur “Big Guy” Carlson As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly! * * * The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/13 "2012-08-16T21:26:19Z")
> [@Latka Gravis](#): > > We believe that meaningless ritual, and mindless superstition, are all that separate us from the animals. So true. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/14 "2012-08-16T21:35:25Z")
Quoting from memory, and probably screwing it up… It’s in the episode of _Cheers_ where John Cleese appears as Frasier’s friend/rival. Cleese is giving a pre-marital counselling session to Sam and Diane. After Cleese says some smart thing, Diane says, “You are the wisest man I have ever met.” Cleese replies, “High praise indeed.” The Cleesian delivery of that is just awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Roadfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@Roadfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadfood)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/15 "2012-08-16T22:49:41Z")
I was going to post the Vir quote, but I think I have to go with one of my favorites from non-fiction TV. James Burke said this on some episode of “The Day the Universe Changed”: “Certainty is a prison, because, when you’re certain, you’re also quite possibly blind.” ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/16 "2012-08-16T23:24:13Z")
Our friend [Vir](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47DfQcHMYLY&feature=relmfu#t=52s), with the denouement. ---
**Author:** ![baka420](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@baka420](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/baka420)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/17 "2012-08-16T23:30:19Z")
“Ya don’t win friends with salad” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/18 "2012-08-16T23:33:33Z")
Star Trek: The Old Stuff, the Naked Now. Sulu has just leaped between Uhura and a couple of molesters, foil in hand, sans shirt… Sulu: I shall save you, fair maiden! Uhura: Neither, actually. (runs away) Bear in mind this was what, 1968? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2012, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/19 "2012-08-17T05:50:56Z")
Thurston Howell III on “Gilligan’s Island,” when the castaways think the island is sinking: “Quick, Lovey. Let’s see if we can’t think of a way we can ‘take it with us!’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2012, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710/20 "2012-08-17T05:52:42Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Star Trek: The Old Stuff, the Naked Now. Sulu has just leaped between Uhura and a couple of molesters, foil in hand, sans shirt… > > Sulu: I shall save you, fair maiden! > Uhura: Neither, actually. (runs away) > > Bear in mind this was what, 1968? 1966, one of the first episodes aired. I believe their exact words were “Aha, fair maiden!”/“Sorry, neither!” 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quote-idiot-tube-division/631710.md?page=2)