# Favorite quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2000, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797 "2000-11-11T16:51:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/1 "2000-11-11T16:51:04Z")
This is inspired by the thread about the recent Tara ep. I did a quick search and was surprised that I didn’t find any Buffy quote threads. A recent favorite of mine: Giles discusses buying the witchcraft shop with Buffy. Buffy can think of at least one reasn why he shouldn’t buy the place: Buffy: “because the shop owners have the average life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer.” Anyone else got any? I have more, but I need to go and rewatch my tapes to make sure I get 'em right. ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/2 "2000-11-11T19:18:29Z")
Let’s see, “Beer good. Beer foamy!” is applicable in a wide variety of circumstances, especially those involving, well, beer. Recently? Hmm, Xander’s outburst at the conclusion of the otherwise horrible Dracula episode was funny. Something about how he’s not going to be the one who has to eat bugs anymore. Plus, anything Spike says is automatically a gut-wrencher these days. ---
**Author:** ![Escanaba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Escanaba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Escanaba)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/3 "2000-11-11T20:57:25Z")
Here’s a quote site \*\* [http://us.imdb.com/Quotes?0118276](http://us.imdb.com/Quotes?0118276) \*\* Willow: Maybe we shouldn’t be too coupley around Buffy. Cordelia: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog? Xander: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what? ---
**Author:** ![Escanaba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Escanaba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Escanaba)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/4 "2000-11-11T21:00:21Z")
Another link \*\* [http://us.imdb.com/Quotes?0103893](http://us.imdb.com/Quotes?0103893) ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/5 "2000-11-11T21:26:00Z")
One Hallowe’en episode (Not exact, but close enough.): The Gang’s scarfing down mini-chocolate-bars. Buffy: There’s no problem chocolate can’t solve. Willow: Ooogh…I feel sick… Buffy: Except that one. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/6 "2000-11-12T00:18:53Z")
Xander (in response to a quip by Cordelia): You cut me with your words! My little brother responded to all insults with that for months. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/7 "2000-11-12T02:59:40Z")
Tara: You have to be with the person you love. Willow: I am. Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you’re not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change. Not really. But it does. So what are we? Helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that. It’s what you do afterwards that counts. That’s when you find out who you are. Oz: I mock you with my monkey pants! Oh, lord, I could go on… ---
**Author:** ![Peta\_Tzunami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b487fb/32.png) [@Peta\_Tzunami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peta_Tzunami)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/8 "2000-11-12T03:23:04Z")
Just **ONE** of my favorites… Giles: Xander, please don’t speak Latin in front of the books. ~ _Superstar_ ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/9 "2000-11-12T03:51:14Z")
Geez, just about anything from Oz or Anya are quotable for me. Instead I think I’ll offer this line from Willow: “Say, you all didn’t happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?” - Dopplegangland ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/10 "2000-11-12T05:46:34Z")
“I laugh at the face of evil. Then I run and hide till it goes away.”–Xander ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/11 "2000-11-12T06:35:02Z")
In the haunted house Halloween episode, the Scooby Gang finds Xander rocking, muttering to himself. I can’t remember the first sentence exactly, but I have the gist. “Fine, who needs you? I’ll just hang out with my new best friend, bleeding dummy head.” This made even my dad (who likes Angel but scorns Buffy) laugh. BTW, these quote sites are hysterical. Xander: Guess who our commencement speaker is? Willow: Sigfreid? Xander: No. Willow: Roy? Xander: No. Willow: One of the tigers? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/12 "2000-11-12T07:00:14Z")
Spike: And this is the team of crack vampire hunters that has foiled my every plan? I am deeply, deeply ashamed. ---
**Author:** ![Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Fairy\_Princess\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fairy_Princess_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/13 "2000-11-12T08:49:23Z")
Spike: I like people. They’re like Happy Meals with legs. Cordelia: So does looking at guns make you wanna have sex? Xander: I’m 17. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex. Xander: Giles lived for school. He’s actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades. Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, ‘There should be more math. This could be mathier.’ Principal Snyder: You! All of you. Why couldn’t you be dealing drugs like normal people? Gotta love Buffy Kitty ---
**Author:** ![ladybug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@ladybug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladybug)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/14 "2000-11-12T20:47:18Z")
Spike: Where have you been pet? Drusilla: I went for a walk. I met an old man. I didn’t like him, he got stuck in my teeth. Anya: You know this isn’t your world, right? I mean, you know you don’t belong here. Vampire Willow: No. This is a dumb world. On my world, there are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies. Anya: Men _like_ sports. I’m sure of it. Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie, they eat of the beef, and they enjoy to look at the bosoms. A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that’s all you’ve learned? Buffy: I’m gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it. Willow: When I’m with a boy I like I can’t say anything cool, or witty – or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away. Angelus: I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it’s been such a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn’t even _have_ chainsaws. Angel: “Dear Buffy…” Hmmm. I’m still trying to decide the best way to send my regards. Spike: Why don’t you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression. Angel: Lacks… poetry. Spike: Doesn’t have to. What rhymes with lungs? Xander: Oooh gang, did you hear that? A bonus day of class plus Cordelia. Mix in a little rectal surgery and it’s my best day ever! Spike: If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there it would’ve been like Woodstock. I was at Woodstock. I fed off a flower person and I spent six hours watching my hand move. Spike: What’s this? Sittin’ around watching the telly while there’s evil still afoot? It’s not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can’t go without your Buffy, is that it? Let’s find her! She is the chosen one, after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let’s annihilate them, for justice, and for… the safety of puppies… and Christmas, right? Let’s fight that evil! Let’s kill something! Oh, come on! I guess you can tell I like Spike quotes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/15 "2000-11-13T05:05:58Z")
Too many… must not reply for fear of overloading the server… (By the way, if anyone feels like chatting about Buffy with someone, give me an email!) ---
**Author:** ![JosephFinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3bc359/32.png) [@JosephFinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JosephFinn)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/16 "2000-11-13T05:58:27Z")
Xander: “Who’s a little fear demon? C’mon, who’s my little fear demon?” Giles: “Don’t taunt the fear demon!” Xander: “Why? Is he dangerous?” Giles: “No…it’s just tacky.” ---
**Author:** ![PatrickM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@PatrickM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickM)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/17 "2000-11-13T15:33:54Z")
Oz is patrolling with Buffy and they’re talking about Buffy’s college roommate, Kathy. Buffy: …so then Kathy’s like, ‘It’s share time.’ And I’m like, ‘Oh yeah? Share this!’ (She punches at the air.) Oz: So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her. Buffy: Well, I didn’t do either, actually. But she deserves it, don’t you think? Oz: Nobody deserves mime, Buffy. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/18 "2000-11-13T16:28:37Z")
Riley: What’s the plural of Apocalypse? ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@Me\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Joe)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/19 "2000-11-13T20:45:44Z")
This quote goes back a few seasons. Can’t remember the episode, or the specific line, but I recall really being sold on the show when Willow asks Angel: “Isn’t the whole non-reflectiony thing kind of a pain? I mean, how do you shave??” Or there was the halloween episode in which Willow is turned into a ghost. When she is trying to help Giles look up the spell that is affecting everyone, Willow complains: “I can’t make heads or tails out of this book of spells…and I can’t turn the pages either.” But best of all is when Cordelia is unwittingly chastening the imprisoned vampire Willow: Cordy: “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my neck?” Willow: “Not yet!” Written down, they don’t seem especially funny. But Alyson Hannigan is just so terrific, she could read listings out of the phonebook and have me in stiches. ---
**Author:** ![bashere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@bashere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bashere)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797/20 "2000-11-13T21:08:11Z")
Evil Willow (in dopplegangerland) “This world isn’t any fun. In my world, we have people in chains, and we can rid them like ponies!” (I mumble that one to myself during really bad days.) “Oh, look, I’ve gone all soft and fuzzy”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-quotes-from-buffy-the-vampire-slayer/40797.md?page=2)