# Favorite Sci-Fi Mumbo-Jumbo **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915 "2013-06-25T21:12:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/21 "2013-06-26T02:21:00Z")
Not as strong as I remembered, but still pretty good: > [@](#): > > The mystery would never be solved. It would simply join others, like the Tunguska event or the Square Crater on Callisto, in the catalogue of unexplained occurrences. The initial worldwide excitement waned within a few months, as it became clear that no quick answers would be found. For a few years grieving relatives would, with some success, press officialdom to maintain the studies and inquiries. But there were no lawyers to keep the fires stoked. The courts ruled soon enough that the Grantville Disaster was an Act of God, for which insurance companies were not liable. Within ten years, the Disaster had devolved into another domain of fanatics and enthusiasts, like the Kennedy Assassination. Thereafter, of course, it enjoyed a near-eternal half-life. But few if any reputable scientists in the world held out any hope for a final explanation. - _1632_ by Eric Flint ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/22 "2013-06-26T02:23:00Z")
“This is just like Budapest all over again.” “You and I remember Budapest very differently.” - The Avengers ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/23 "2013-06-26T03:04:08Z")
Two words: [“Nerve Stapling.”](http://sidmeiersalphacentauri.wikia.com/wiki/Atrocities) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/24 "2013-06-26T03:09:21Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Is pretty amusing. (From [_Aliens_](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090605/quotes?ref_=tt_ql_3), of course.) That movie did a good job of implying a big roomy backstory, especially for the Colonial Marines (“_another_ bughunt”???). Heh! That one—the “Arcturians”—is another old favorite, but a little digging awhile back revealed something interesting: they may be a reference to an old Heavy Metal comic, [“The Long Tomorrow,”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Long_Tomorrow) written by Dan O’Bannon, which served as an inspiration for several cyberpunk and sci-fi works. An Arcturian actually appears in said comic (which you can see online, with minimal searching—it’s very NSFW), and seems to answer a whooole lot of questions. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/25 "2013-06-26T03:14:44Z")
[Chronosynclastic infundibulum](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrono-synclastic_infundibulum). ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/26 "2013-06-26T03:22:44Z")
> [@irritant](#): > > This is possibly the most baffling thing I’ve read today, and I’ve been following the “Mental illness is exaggerated” thread in GD. By which I meant, Dunsany does evocative descriptions extremely well, which sometimes makes up for the total lack of characters and plot in his stories. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/27 "2013-06-26T04:21:53Z")
Our planet Ygam possesses a single satellite, Fantastic Planet. We utilize this uninhabited planet for meditation. Ygam is divided into several Uvas. Two of the Uvas, Strom and Yot are naturally symmetrical. Among the other Uvas are Tanik, the largest. It is completely covered by blue asconic masses, which cause extreme temperature variations, from 8 to 243 likas, and is therefore inaccessible to riprocal exploitation. The Uva of Goham is dominated by an inland fepular sea, which stabilizes the epanic at about 25 likas. Anchor blocks counteract the the process of pontacrebation, while Omalian Globes regularize the pressure. All Uvas undergo a cycle of 3 vestular seasons of unequal duration. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/28 "2013-06-26T04:27:32Z")
Reverse polarity! ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/29 "2013-06-26T04:50:49Z")
From my favorite short history: _Victory Unintentional_ by Issac Asimov. When the 3 robots “land” in Jupiter. > [@](#): > > There had been a slight lull in Jovian activity and now a new structure was brought up. It possessed a slender rod that pointed skyward through the impenetrable Jovian murk. It stood in that starkly incredible wind with a rigidity that plainly indicated remarkable structural strength. From its tip came a cracking and then a Bash that lit up the depths of the atmosphere into a gray fog. > > For a moment the robots were bathed in clinging radiance and then Three said thoughtfully, “High-tension electricity! Quite respectable power, too. One, I think you’re right. After all, the human masters have told us that these creatures seek to destroy all humanity, and organisms possessing such insane viciousness as to harbor a thought of harm against a human being”-his voice trembled at the thought-“would scarcely scruple at attempting to destroy us.” > > “It’s a shame to have such distorted minds,” said ZZ One. “Poor fellows!” > > “I find it a very saddening thought,” admitted Two. “Let’s go back to the ship. We’ve seen enough for now.” > > … > > Through this thirty-hour interval the surrounding Jovians continued their attack with a patience and persevering relentlessness concerning which robot ZZ One made a good many mental notes. The ship was assaulted by as many varieties of forces as there were hours, and the robots observed every attack attentively, analyzing such weapons as they recognized. They by no means recognized all. > > But the human masters had built well. It had taken fifteen years to construct the ship and the robots, and their essentials could be expressed in a single phrase- raw strength. The attack spent itself uselessly and neither ship nor robot seemed the worse for it. > > Three said, “This atmosphere handicaps them, I think. They can’t use atomic disruptors, since they would only tear a hole in that soupy air and blow themselves up.” > > “They haven’t used high explosives either,” said Two, “which is well. They couldn’t have hurt us, naturally, but it would have thrown us about a bit.” > > “High explosives are out of the question. You can’t have an explosive without gas expansion and gas just can’t expand in this atmosphere.” > > “It’s a very good atmosphere,” muttered One. “I like it.” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/30 "2013-06-26T04:55:52Z")
_Qadgop the Mercotan slithered flatly around the after-bulge of the tranship. One claw dug into the meters-thick armor of pure neutronium, then another. Its terrible xmexlike snout locked on. Its zymolosely polydactile tongue crunched out, crashed down, rasped across. Slurp! Slurp! At each abrasive stroke the groove in the tranship’s plating deepened and Qadgop leered more fiercely. Fools! Did they think that the airlessness of absolute space, the heatlessness of absolute zero, the yieldlessness of absolute neutronium, could stop QADGOP THE MERCOTAN? And the stowaway, that human wench Cynthia, cowering in helpless terror just beyond this thin and fragile wall…_ E.E. “Doc” Smith, _Children of the Lens_ ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/31 "2013-06-26T05:17:11Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Because I’m not sure you got when I’m going for here. I want the utterly obscure, not merely the evocative. Take the “Kessel Run” line. We don’t know what or where Kessel is, or why it has a run. We don’t know if 12 parsecs is a little or a lot. In fact, we don’t know anything at all, and never will. The line was just thrown out there, never to be explained. > > That’s what I want. The reason the Kessel run is mumbo jumbo is because it uses parsecs as a measure of time, when in fact a parsec is a measure of distance. Lightyears are also commonly used as a measure of time, when they are a measure of distance. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/32 "2013-06-26T05:24:48Z")
Heard on Tuesday’s episode of _ **ST: Voyager** _: _“Shunt the power to the polaron matrix!”_ That’s gotta be the best line since “The inertia dampeners are off-line!” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/33 "2013-06-26T05:33:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Capt. Kirk: The name of the game is called, uh… fizzbin. > Kalo: Fizzbin? > Capt. Kirk: Fizzbin. It’s, uh… not too difficult. > Kalo: Mm-hmm. > Capt. Kirk: Each player gets six cards, except for the dealer, er, the player on the dealer’s right, who, er, gets seven. > Kalo: On the right? > Capt. Kirk: Yes. The second card is turned up, except on Tuesday. > Kalo: On Tuesday. > Capt. Kirk: Mm-hmm. > Capt. Kirk: [exited] Ooh, look what you got, two jacks. You got a half fizzbin already! > Kalo: Hehe! I need another jack. > Capt. Kirk: No, no. If you got another jack, why, you’d have, er, a sralk. > Kalo: A sralk? > Capt. Kirk: Yes. You’d be disqualified. > Kalo: Oh. > Capt. Kirk: No, what you need now, is either a king and a deuce, except at night, of course, when you’d need a queen and a, and a four. > Kalo: Except at night. > Capt. Kirk: Right. Oh, look at that. You’ve got another jack! > [Kalo laughs] > Capt. Kirk: How lucky you are! How wonderful for you. Now, if you didn’t get another jack, if you’d gotten a king, why, then you’d get another card, except when it’s dark, when you’d have to give it back. > Kalo: If it were dark on Tuesday. > Capt. Kirk: Yes, but what you’re after is a royal fizzbin, but the odds in getting a royal fizzbin are astron… Spock, what are the odds in getting a royal fizzbin? > Spock: I have never computed them, Captain. > Capt. Kirk: Well, they’re astronomical, believe me. > [@](#): > > Well, I’ll tell you son… Due to a Cetcil wind, Dystor’s vectored us into a 360-tarson of slow air traffic. Now we’ll maintain this Borden hold until we get the Forta Magnus clearance from Melnics. Identifying the sources is left as an exercise for the reader. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/34 "2013-06-26T05:53:20Z")
“…or through inaction cause harm…” ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/35 "2013-06-26T06:03:02Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > The reason the Kessel run is mumbo jumbo is because it uses parsecs as a measure of time, when in fact a parsec is a measure of distance. Lightyears are also commonly used as a measure of time, when they are a measure of distance. And I say that if the line had been “… in twelve _minutes_”, it would have still been only marginally more comprehensible. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/36 "2013-06-26T06:21:29Z")
_Itzamna, spirit of early mist and showers. Ixtab, goddess of ropes and snares. Ix Chel, the spider web, catcher of morning dew. Zooheekock, virgin fire patroness of infants. Odziz, the master of cold. Kukupuket, who works in fire. Ixtabdoom, she who spits out precious stones. Ixchunchan, the dangerous one. **Ah Pook, the destroyer.** _ William S. Burroughs, _Ah Pook is Here!_ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/37 "2013-06-26T06:27:51Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Identifying the sources is left as an exercise for the reader. _ **ST: TOS** _ Season Two, “A Piece of the Action.” Dean Martin in _ **Airport** _. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/38 "2013-06-26T06:43:20Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > It’s not completely an aside, but NIven&Pournelle have several passages from the comet’s perspective in _Lucifer’s Hamster_.\* Lucifer’s Hamster? ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/39 "2013-06-26T06:50:38Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Lucifer’s Hamster? _The Hamster of God was coming to punish the decadent and the willful._ ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2013, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915/40 "2013-06-26T07:30:22Z")
Well, that could explain the recent board problems… 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-sci-fi-mumbo-jumbo/661915.md?page=3)