# Favorite Seinfeld lines/scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638 "2009-09-18T20:15:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/1 "2009-09-18T20:15:19Z")
For some reason, I never get sick of watching this show, though I’ve probably seen every episode about a million times. There are still things I notice to laugh at - throwaway lines, mostly - that I missed the first hundred times around. Like this exchange between Jerry and Kramer (which there was no audience laughter for): Kramer: Smokers are people too, Jerry. Jerry: They are? I find the first two seasons a little weird and not so funny at this point, but all the later seasons are _gold, Jerry_! There are all sorts of absurd jokes that weren’t at all common on network sitcoms at the time. A couple favorites I can come up with off the top of my head: Susan: I’m not an egg, George. George: And I am not a piece of toast. Puddy: Yeah, Koko! That chimp’s all right! High five. (from the same episode) Puddy (to Elaine): I’m not stupid. I’ll tell you who’s stupid: you are, stupid! Elaine: All right. David… Puddy: _You’re_ the grease monkey! Elaine: That doesn’t even make any sense. Jerry: Have you come across this phenomenon before? George: I have. She’s a two-face. Jerry: Like the Batman villain? George: If that _helps you_. Newman: You’re once…twice…three times a - (mail truck bursts into flames) …Aaaahhhh! Your favorites? ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/2 "2009-09-18T20:18:57Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/3 "2009-09-18T20:42:19Z")
“She had man hands” LOL That was so funny. They should’ve given “Man Hands” her own show. I forget the exact line but it was about Jerry trying to get a picture and “Man Hands” ripping it away from him. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/4 "2009-09-18T20:43:31Z")
Kramer: “I’m out.” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/5 "2009-09-18T20:46:33Z")
George: “Pleasuring you…” ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/6 "2009-09-18T20:49:19Z")
[**“Make love to the wall pervert!” -Kramer**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk3DjXKdVcY) Easily one of the best scenes in the whole series. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/7 "2009-09-18T20:50:13Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Newman: You’re once…twice…three times a - > (mail truck bursts into flames) > …Aaaahhhh! “Oh, the humanity!” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/8 "2009-09-18T20:57:47Z")
Jerry: “Because I could get uromycotysis\* poisoning and die, that’s why!” \*I have no idea how to spell what he says. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/9 "2009-09-18T20:57:49Z")
Mod note: since both threads had already gotten posts, I merged them and deleted one OP. Does that make me spongeworthy? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/10 "2009-09-18T21:01:34Z")
“Mulva?” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/11 "2009-09-18T21:02:00Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Does that make me spongeworthy? Spongeworthy? Hell, for service like that, they should let you hold the rope on the Woody Woodpecker float! ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/12 "2009-09-18T21:03:56Z")
Newman! ---
**Author:** ![HoboStew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f17d59/32.png) [@HoboStew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoboStew)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/13 "2009-09-18T21:13:19Z")
Why didn’t you tell her I was an architect?! You know I’ve always wanted to pretend I was an architect! ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/14 "2009-09-18T21:15:13Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Mod note: since both threads had already gotten posts, I merged them and deleted one OP. No soup for them! One year! The whole episode where Kramer takes the dog medicine. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/zC93iSNMTo0/hqdefault.jpg "Kramer taking dog pills") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC93iSNMTo0) ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/15 "2009-09-18T21:16:35Z")
Elaine: _GET OUT!_ (they’re all good, but if I had to pick just one, I’d go with the one with Bizarro Jerry, when she almost knocks him into next week) ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/16 "2009-09-18T21:20:43Z")
Oh yeah? Well, the Jerk Store called, and they’re all out of **YOU**! ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/17 "2009-09-18T21:26:13Z")
“He is such a hipster doofus, and has not changed at all since college. Do you think he knows he is a hipster doofus?” ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/18 "2009-09-18T21:34:17Z")
I had to look it up to get the exacts. This constantly cracks me up. Even if I just think it. Jerry: Ah, you’re crazy. Cosmo Kramer: Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind? Jerry: It’s impossible. Cosmo Kramer: Is it? Or is it so possible that your head is spinning like a top? Jerry: It can’t be. Cosmo Kramer: Can’t it? Or is your entire world just crashing down all around you? Jerry: All right, that’s enough. Kramer: Yeaaaah! ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/19 "2009-09-18T21:46:48Z")
I always liked the ending to the episode entitled, “The Marine Biologist”, how as George is telling the story about the beached whale, it encompassed the Titleist golf balls that Kramer had been driving into the ocean. At its best, the show would have each of the four principal characters involved in separate adventures, and then somehow tie everything together at the end. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/20 "2009-09-18T21:55:16Z")
> [@BMax](#): > > Oh yeah? Well, the Jerk Store called, and they’re all out of **YOU**! I love that line. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=2)