# Favorite Seinfeld lines/scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638 "2009-09-18T20:15:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/181 "2025-05-08T13:47:07Z")
After Jerry accidentally erases the bootleg video, and Kramer tells him that the gun-toting guy is on his way up: Kramer: “I’m sure he’ll understand”. Jerry: “People with guns don’t ‘understand’! That’s why they GET GUNS!” A lot of it is in the delivery. A neurotic Manhattanite who’s probably never seen a gun except on a cop. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/182 "2025-05-08T14:09:12Z")
Kramer, trying to convince Jerry to make a thank-you call: “Aren’t you a part of society? Because if you don’t want to be a part of society, Jerry, why don’t you just get in your car and move to the **East Side**!” ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/183 "2025-05-08T16:05:19Z")
Believe it or not, George isn’t at home So leave a message at the beep. I must be out, or I’d pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I’m not home. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/184 "2025-05-08T16:52:47Z")
Serenity now, insanity later. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2025, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/185 "2025-05-12T20:03:28Z")
I could drop you like a bag of dirt. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2025, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/186 "2025-05-13T00:00:51Z")
I loved the two-parter where Puddy gets everybody to facepaint for a New Jersey Devils game, and they terrify a priest. ---
**Author:** ![sb1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@sb1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sb1953)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2025, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/187 "2025-05-13T00:55:07Z")
Elaine: YOUR BALD! George: "I WAS bald! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2025, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/188 "2025-05-13T22:12:49Z")
His bald what?!? 🤨 ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2025, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/189 "2025-05-16T23:50:31Z")
> **[The Gum](https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGum.html)** > > Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Gum. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes > GEORGE: I can’t believe it. Look, that’s Jerry Seinfeld. > > DEENA: Who? > > GEORGE: Jerry Seinfeld. My best friend. He can explain all of this. (calls to > > Jerry) Jerry. > > Jerry hears his name called and turns his head, but all he can see are blurry > > colored shapes. > > GEORGE: Jerry! Over here Jerry. It’s me! > > The car pulls away, leaving George calling after it. > > GEORGE: Jerry, where y’going? It’s… what’re… > > DEENA: (doubtful) That was your best friend? > > GEORGE: Yeah, yeah, but he doesn’t wear glasses. > > DEENA: That man was wearing glasses. > > GEORGE: I know. Don’t you see. (emphatic) He was doing it to fool Lloyd Braun! ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/190 "2025-05-17T01:12:18Z")
My favourite scene was Crazy Joe Davola, in his clown suit, beating up the punks in Central Park. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/191 "2025-05-17T04:40:19Z")
I like the one that comes later, where Kramer isn’t quite sure who he’s talking to: **CRAZY JOE:** (_In his clown suit_) Do you like clowns? **KRAMER:** (_Freaking out_) Uhhh … yeah…? ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/192 "2025-05-17T09:15:12Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > I like the one that comes later, where Kramer isn’t quite sure who he’s talking to Yes, absolutely! Season 4, with Crazy Joe and Dr Reston, is my favourite, although there is just so much in the entire show. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/193 "2025-05-17T12:07:58Z")
Never a fan, but I thought an episode where the incident (from faulty memory) of a baseball player getting spit on was compared to the assassination of JFK was pretty clever. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/194 "2025-05-17T12:30:53Z")
It was Kramer who got spat on, and that scene was a parody of the courtroom reenactment of the assassination in Oliver Stone’s _ **JFK** _. Wayne “Newman!” Knight was in both, so he must have had a strong feeling of _deja vu_. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/195 "2025-05-17T12:54:31Z")
I wonder why I thought a baseball player was involved? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/196 "2025-05-17T13:09:28Z")
He was, but not in the reenactment. He was Jerry’s new man-buddy Keith Hernandez, and the spitting incident occurred after one of his games as Kramer and Newman were leaving the stadium. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2025, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/197 "2025-05-17T23:15:12Z")
IIRC Kramer thought Hernandez had spit on them after they called him “pretty boy” but it turned out to be Roger McDowell (“the second spitter”) hiding behind a bush. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2025, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/198 "2025-05-23T17:29:22Z")
“That was one magic loogy.” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2025, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/199 "2025-05-23T18:34:38Z")
Frank Costanza cracking an egg into a pan: "I’m back, _baby!"_ Peterman: “My neck is one gargantuan monkey fist.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2025, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/200 "2025-05-23T19:25:14Z")
“Tippy-toe! Tippy-toe!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=11)