# Favorite Seinfeld lines/scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638 "2009-09-18T20:15:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2025, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/201 "2025-05-23T19:55:23Z")
And Elaine with the wild-eyed look shouting “I DON’T LIKE THIS THING!! AND HERE’S WHAT I’M DOING WITH IT!!” is always hilarious. [https://youtu.be/eYSgk2oC3-s?t=94](https://youtu.be/eYSgk2oC3-s?t=94) ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanubv.2/32/3260_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUBv.2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUBv.2)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2025, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/202 "2025-05-24T04:11:27Z")
The entirety of S8,ep 5 _ **The Package** _ But particularly Uncle Leo’s eyebrows, Newman interrogating Jerry about the damaged stereo, George’s boudoir photo. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2025, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/203 "2025-05-24T05:12:32Z")
“But I don’t _wanna_ be a pirate!” ---
**Author:** ![mtnmatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@mtnmatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mtnmatt)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2025, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/204 "2025-05-24T05:16:59Z")
“Bird flew into a woman’s head” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2025, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/205 "2025-05-24T10:50:54Z")
**AT AN OFFICE PARTY:** **CO-WORKER:** So Elaine, you gonna dance this year? **ELAINE:** Maybe…all over your face! **CO-WORKER:** If you do dance, the cooks want to know so they can be brought out of the kitchen. They missed it last year. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2025, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/206 "2025-05-24T11:01:55Z")
Kramer’s bus driving story. Jerry: You kept making all the stops!?!?! Kramer: … They kept ringing the bell! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2025, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/207 "2025-05-24T21:16:18Z")
“Is that a Titleist…?” ---
**Author:** ![mtnmatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@mtnmatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mtnmatt)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2025, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/208 "2025-06-01T00:44:29Z")
RIP to pretentious accountant Valerie Mahaffey [https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/31/arts/valerie-mahaffey-dead.html?unlocked\_article\_code=1.Lk8.2uDW.Z6V1G1HFEBkD&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare](https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/31/arts/valerie-mahaffey-dead.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Lk8.2uDW.Z6V1G1HFEBkD&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare) “Papi-ay ma-chey” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2025, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/209 "2025-06-01T01:01:53Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “But I don’t _wanna_ be a pirate!” That line is a classic! And it was reprised in the episode about Jon Voight’s car, where all his sneakers are gone and all that Jerry has to wear is a pair of cowboy boots: “But I don’t wanna be a cowboy!” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2025, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/210 "2025-06-01T03:24:46Z")
And referenced again when Kramer dons an eye patch. Jerry: You look like a pirate Kramer: I wanna be a pirate. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2025, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/211 "2025-06-01T04:03:16Z")
Kramer smacks his hundred bucks down on Jerry’s kitchen counter and says, “I’m out!” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2025, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/212 "2025-06-02T00:21:43Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Kramer smacks his hundred bucks down on Jerry’s kitchen counter and says, “I’m out!”   In a subsequent episode, “The Puffy Shirt”, George, warned by his “hand modeling” employer to take very good care of his hands and exercise restraint: “No problem. I won a contest!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2025, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/213 "2025-06-02T00:30:16Z")
Although it’s revealed in the series finale that George cheated (“Because I’m a cheater!”) and that Jerry won. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/214 "2025-06-03T04:30:57Z")
I love throw away lines. When George refuses to leave a job and they are trying to make him quit. “Tomorrow they’re putting in asbestos.” ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/215 "2025-06-03T18:05:07Z")
George: “I’d love to be a civil war buff.” ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/216 "2025-06-03T18:35:21Z")
George: “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? Because if someone had told me that sort of thing was frowned upon…” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/217 "2025-06-03T18:37:23Z")
George: Hang on, ma, hang on… ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/218 "2025-06-03T19:49:53Z")
**GEORGE:** I didn’t know whether to try and keep her from falling or zip up! **JERRY:** What did you do? **GEORGE:** I zipped up! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2025, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/219 "2025-06-04T02:47:05Z")
There was shrinkage! ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2025, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/220 "2025-06-04T11:57:18Z")
Elaine: It shrinks? Jerry: Like a frightened turtle. Elaine: I don’t know how you live with those things. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=12)