# Favorite Seinfeld lines/scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638 "2009-09-18T20:15:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2025, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/221 "2025-06-04T17:22:30Z")
“walk around with those things.” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2025, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/222 "2025-06-04T19:41:56Z")
Elaine: Perhaps there is more to Newman than meets the eye. Jerry: No, there’s _less_. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2025, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/223 "2025-06-04T21:22:52Z")
Hello, _Newman_. ---
**Author:** ![mtnmatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@mtnmatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mtnmatt)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2025, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/224 "2025-06-04T23:05:07Z")
he is merry ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2025, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/225 "2025-06-04T23:33:58Z")
Newman: Pair o’ bear claws, please! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2025, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/226 "2025-06-05T02:10:25Z")
I don’t work in the rain. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2025, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/227 "2025-06-05T02:23:23Z")
**KRAMER:** Oh, right. It’s raining. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2025, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/228 "2025-06-05T04:38:03Z")
George: “Neither rain nor sleet nor sno-- IT’S THE FIRST ONE!” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2025, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/229 "2025-06-05T16:44:52Z")
“And **you** wanted to be my latex salesman!” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/230 "2025-06-06T01:56:52Z")
“I was never that big on creeds.” Arguably the best line of the entire series. 😄 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/231 "2025-06-06T03:14:25Z")
“I’m _there_ for you.” “Three years is a long time to be married.” “That ‘there for you’ crap was a stroke of pure genius!” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/232 "2025-06-06T17:33:15Z")
“Oh, no! The Associated Press picked up the NYU story. I’ve been outed! And I was never even in!” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2025, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/233 "2025-06-06T19:25:45Z")
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2025, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/234 "2025-06-07T14:26:06Z")
Sometimes it’s not one particular line, but several lines that create the circumstance. The below are just from memory but they approximate the situation: **George:** Elaine, I have to tell you something. **Jerry:** No, no, don’t do this! **George:** I’ve been very attracted to you. **Jerry:** Here we go. (Hides head in hands.) Kramer immediately comes bursting in the door with some trivia, interrupting the proceedings. The only thing Jerry, George, and Elaine are totally in agreement with at this moment is getting Kramer the hell out of there! There’s a similar scene where Jerry is talking to a woman who acknowledges that she’s a virgin. At that exact moment Elaine comes bursting in. And she’s breathless with a tale about how her purse goes flying into the air and her diaphragm comes flying out! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/235 "2025-06-08T00:34:23Z")
“We were getting along real good and then she made some tea. Put some milk in it without asking me. Now, that’s a turnoff.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/236 "2025-06-08T00:43:17Z")
**Mrs. O:** That’s when I began my affair with Mohandas. **Elaine:** What? **Mrs. O:** Mohandas. **Elaine:** Ghandhi? **Mrs. O:** Oh, the _passion_. The _forbidden pleasure_— **Elaine:** You had an affair with Ghandhi? **Mrs. O:** He used to dip his bald head in oil and rub it all over my body. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/237 "2025-06-08T04:13:10Z")
“I mentioned the bisque.” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/238 "2025-06-08T04:34:01Z")
“Hurry up, George, step on it. Damn mohel – he circumcised my finger! … Tissues – I need more tissues!” “You flinched.” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/239 "2025-06-08T04:51:45Z")
In that same episode (_The Bris_) Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer visit a hospital numerous times. Kramer becomes obsessed with finding the pig-man (apparently half man, half pig) that he believes he saw on the first visit. Later on, the guys get into a general conversation about pig-men. I don’t remember Elaine’s exact words so I’m somewhat paraphrasing, but it’s something like this: “OK, I’m getting outta here. But can you do me a favour? When you continue this conversation about pig-men and the women who loved them, can you please tape it? I’ll be fascinated to listen to it when I get back!” ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/240 "2025-06-08T05:36:46Z")
That whole Kramer thing always seemed fantastical to me. I mean, if that guy lived on my floor, I’d have about six locks on my door, and a peephole where I could scan the entire hall. He’d never have the opportunity to slide into my apartment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=13)