# Favorite Seinfeld lines/scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638 "2009-09-18T20:15:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/241 "2025-06-08T05:43:44Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > That whole Kramer thing always seemed fantastical to me. And yet, my understanding is that Kramer, more than any of the other characters, was based on Larry David’s real-life apartment neighbour. In fact after the show became very popular, the real-life Kramer, in keeping with his weirdness, ran bus tours through the Manhattan areas featured in the show. ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/242 "2025-06-08T14:10:42Z")
Well, Jerry did promise to share: > JERRY: No, thanks. But I ordered a pizza. You want some of it? > > KRAMER: Uh, no, no, no. I couldn’t impose. > > JERRY: Why not? We’re neighbors. What’s mine is yours. > > KRAMER: (Eyeing Jerry’s empty apartment) Really? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/243 "2025-06-08T15:02:34Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > > [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > > > That whole Kramer thing always seemed fantastical to me. > > And yet, my understanding is that Kramer, more than any of the other characters, was based on Larry David’s real-life apartment neighbour. In fact after the show became very popular, the real-life Kramer, in keeping with his weirdness, ran bus tours through the Manhattan areas featured in the show. I think Kenny Kramer’s reality tour inspired the J Peterman reality tour that was the subject of one episode. And I always liked this comment from George, said after Kramer announced he was going to a fantasy baseball camp, “His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two thousand dollars to live like him for a week: do nothing, fall ass backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. _That’s_ a fantasy camp.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/244 "2025-06-08T15:20:52Z")
In one episode, Kramer let it slip that he’d been in the Army: **JERRY:** (_Surprised_) You were in the Army? **KRAMER:** (_Reluctantly_) Briefly. It’s my belief that he was relatively normal until he was subjected to some kind of Army/CIA mind-altering experiments while in the Service. He was given an Honorable/Medical discharge after they had finished with him and now lives on a Disability/Hush Money pension provided by the Government. This would explain his erratic behavior and how he manages to live so well in NYC without working. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/245 "2025-06-08T17:18:34Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > I think Kenny Kramer’s reality tour inspired the J Peterman reality tour that was the subject of one episode. And I always liked this comment from George, said after Kramer announced he was going to a fantasy baseball camp, “His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two thousand dollars to live like him for a week: do nothing, fall ass backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating: _That’s_ a fantasy camp.” I believe it is still running. [https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction\_Review-g60763-d2469669-Reviews-Kramer\_s\_Reality\_Tour-New\_York\_City\_New\_York.html](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g60763-d2469669-Reviews-Kramer_s_Reality_Tour-New_York_City_New_York.html) ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2025, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/246 "2025-06-08T17:39:42Z")
Copied from a similar fan theory on Reddit: > Additionally, Kramer refers to apparently good friends that we never see, such as Bob Sacamano, Jay Riemanschnieder, Lomez, etc. These friends sound as crazy as Kramer, so it is possible that Kramer and his unseen friends were all in the service together, possibly even on a SEAL or SF team, and he just prefers to keep that circle of friends separate from his “normal” friends. Kramer even lets slip that Sacamano was in a mental institution for a while. Maybe for PTSD…?? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2025, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/247 "2025-06-09T02:00:44Z")
Jay Riemenschnieder is a real guy, and I know him a little. Another character of that name appeared on _Curb Your Enthusiasm_. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2025, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/248 "2025-06-09T18:20:39Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > I believe it is still running. > > [Kramer's Reality Tour (2025) - All You Need to Know BEFORE You Go (with Reviews)](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g60763-d2469669-Reviews-Kramer_s_Reality_Tour-New_York_City_New_York.html) The Tripadvisor page is still up, but the most recent reviews are from Jan 2020, and in the past I’ve seen pages on Tripadvisor for stuff that’s no longer running. If you click the [link for tour reservations](http://www.kennykramer.com/reservation1.html) (which takes you to Kenny Kramer’s very old school website), there’s this message at the top of the page: > KRAMER TOUR IS NOT RUNNING. > > WHEN WILL IT RESUME? > > YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE! > > HOPE WE WILL MEET WHE THE WORLD IS BACK TO NORMAL. > > IN THE MEANTIME, STAY HEALTHY > BE SAFE, WEAR YOUR MASK. > > GOOD LUCK, KENNY KRAMER It looks like Kramer hasn’t posted any updates since 2020. I suspect he shut down the tour during COVID and never restarted it. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2025, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/249 "2025-06-09T18:28:46Z")
Maybe he’s busy working on his restaurant that only serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2025, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/250 "2025-06-09T19:08:09Z")
" Believe me, Jerry. Somewhere in this hospital the anguished oink of Pig-Man cries out for help. " ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2025, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/251 "2025-06-10T13:06:14Z")
Crazy Joe Davola: You know I’ve kiboshed before… And I will kibosh again ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2025, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/252 "2025-06-12T17:26:04Z")
“Aw, that’s a shame.” Said with a certain air of not giving a damn. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/253 "2025-06-21T01:44:49Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > > [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > > > “But I don’t _wanna_ be a pirate!” > > That line is a classic! And it was reprised in the episode about Jon Voight’s car, where all his sneakers are gone and all that Jerry has to wear is a pair of cowboy boots: “But I don’t wanna be a cowboy!” There was another one exploiting that meme, where Kramer and Newman are heavily engaged in the board game “Risk”, each trying to take over the world, and Kramer and Newman take the board to Jerry’s apartment for safekeeping. They explain that Jerry is a neutral party, like Switzerland, that they entrust to guard the board while they’re away. “I don’t wanna be Switzerland!” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/254 "2025-06-21T01:53:02Z")
“My wallet’s gone! My wallet’s gone!” Eta: incidentally this is what I yell whenever I check my back pocket and my wallet isn’t there. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/255 "2025-06-21T02:02:13Z")
“And you, Jerry, are no Comedian.” ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/256 "2025-06-21T02:14:50Z")
You want a piece of me?! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/257 "2025-06-21T02:20:24Z")
“I could drop you like a bag of _dirt_.” Just possibly my favorite Elaine line in the whole damn series. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/258 "2025-06-21T17:48:15Z")
Me, too! ETA: I saw a series of outtakes from this scene on youtube, and Julia had a lot of difficulty actually delivering the line without cracking up. I sympathize. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/259 "2025-06-21T17:59:28Z")
I liked this bit. > Catholic Priest: [in a confessional booth] Tell me your sins, my son. > Jerry: Well, I should tell you that I’m Jewish. > Catholic Priest: That’s no sin. > Jerry: Oh, good. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he’s converted to Judaism just for the jokes. > Catholic Priest: And this offends you as a Jewish person? > Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian! ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2025, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/260 "2025-06-23T18:22:31Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > ETA: I saw a series of outtakes from this scene on youtube, and Julia had a lot of difficulty actually delivering the line without cracking up. I sympathize. That is actually why I remember that line. I think they played the outtakes in the closing credits of that episode because they had to do it so many times. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=14)