# Favorite Seinfeld lines/scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638 "2009-09-18T20:15:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/41 "2009-09-19T04:07:21Z")
Kramer: “Well, I’ve got gonorrhea.” Elaine: “That seems about right.” "You call _that_ “the tractor story?” SERENITY NOW! ---
**Author:** ![palacheck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e57/32.png) [@palacheck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palacheck)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/42 "2009-09-19T04:44:31Z")
Vile weed! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/43 "2009-09-19T04:47:40Z")
Elaine: It had no _face_, no _personality!_ ---
**Author:** ![Shawn1767](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shawn1767](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn1767)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/44 "2009-09-19T04:57:57Z")
See if you can place this line from Elaine, it’s one of my favorites. Especially her delivery: “Oh, it be.” ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/45 "2009-09-19T06:11:22Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > To me, it will always be…Burma! Because of that episode, I’ll always know that Myanmar was Burma. Probably my favorite exchange : ELAINE: Andrea Doria? Isn’t that the one they did the song about? JERRY: Edmund Fitzgerald. ELIANE: I love Edmund Fitzgerald’s voice. JERRY: Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship. ELAINE: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat. JERRY: Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens. KRAMER: The Andrea Doria collided with the Stockholm in dense fog 21 miles off the coast of Nantucket. GEORGE: How do you know? KRAMER: it’s in my book - “Astonishing Tales of the Sea” 51 people died. GEORGE: 51 people?! That’s it?! I thought it was, like, a thousand! KRAMER: There were 1,650 survivors. GEORGE: That’s no tragedy! How many people do you lose on a normal cruse? 30? 40?! Kramer, can I take a look at that book? KRAMER: Oh yeah. I also got “Astounding Bear Attacks” ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/46 "2009-09-19T07:13:02Z")
Jerry-I lost my keys. george-what do they look like? Jerry-they look like keys, they look exactly like keys! …what do they look like… ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/47 "2009-09-19T07:42:33Z")
Yeah, I stole ‘em right off your stinkin’ feet. Why’d you tell her?!! ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/48 "2009-09-19T08:44:55Z")
> [@Shawn1767](#): > > See if you can place this line from Elaine, it’s one of my favorites. Especially her delivery: > “Oh, it be.” That would follow Jerry’s lilne “How can it be?” I love the whole “It. Out” exchange. Especially Elaine cleaning her glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/49 "2009-09-19T13:11:37Z")
George: [“Will I see you again?”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mf5MlO_Zd8) (YouTube, 41 sec). ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/50 "2009-09-19T13:42:18Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > Oh, I’m sorry. It was the Moops. The thing that always cracks me up about this scene is that while George and the Bubble Boy are arguing about “Moors” vs “Moops”, Susan is looking through the game rules, as if there might be a rule in there about what to do if an answer has a typo. Another George & Susan scene that always makes me laugh is when George starts smoking in an effort to get Susan to break up with him. The way he can barely cough out lines like “I’m hooked” and “Well I can’t stop now!” is just hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/51 "2009-09-19T13:45:56Z")
The Library cop! [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/MF2gZu3ygEQ/hqdefault.jpg "Seinfeld - Library Investigator Mr. Bookman (synced)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF2gZu3ygEQ) > [@](#): > > What about that kid, sitting down and opening a book, right now,in a branch of the local library, and finding drawings of peepees and weewees in _The Cat In The Hat_ and _The Five Chinese Brothers_? Doesn’t he deserve better? … This is about that kid’s right to read that book without getting his _mind warped_! Maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld! Maybe that’s how you get your kicks! You and your good-time buddies. But I got a flash for you, joy boy. Party time is over! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/52 "2009-09-19T15:46:06Z")
“The sea was angry that day, my friends: like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.” ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/53 "2009-09-19T17:35:47Z")
“I choose not to run!” ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/54 "2009-09-19T17:45:02Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > The Library cop! > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF2gZu3ygEQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF2gZu3ygEQ) Classic. I love how you can see Jerry struggling not to crack up in that scene. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/55 "2009-09-19T17:50:20Z")
The one that always cracks me up. George: _Shrinkage! SHRINKAGE!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/56 "2009-09-19T18:13:23Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Classic. I love how you can see Jerry struggling not to crack up in that scene. Speaking of holding in laughter, It seems to me that George was struggling when Jerry said “Because they like to say _salsa_.” In each case, they were supposed to find what the other person said funny. Maybe that makes it even harder to lose control completely. With Jerry, though, Bookman wasn’t supposed to be trying to be funny, and was clearly a buffoon. Of course, the greatest number of out-takes had to be with Elaine struggling not to crack up as George’s father challenged with _ **“You want a piece of me?”** _ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/57 "2009-09-19T18:17:38Z")
> [@Slade](#): > > As for my own favourite line: > > “And YOU want to be my latex salesman!” The mock disdain in his delivery makes it perfect. For me: _“It didn’t take.”_ ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/58 "2009-09-20T01:46:33Z")
George, upon finding out that Jerry’s girlfriend is “into it” (menage a trois) This is like discovering plutonium on accident! And of course Kramer’s “I’m out there Jerry, and I’m lovin’ every minute of it” (complete with eye rolls) ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/59 "2009-09-20T02:05:05Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/ofsljUAUdlc/hqdefault.jpg "seinfeld scene kramer smoke pipe night") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofsljUAUdlc) The outtakes of this were great but I can’t find them on youtube. Jerry would take one look at Kramer’s brown teeth and crack up. Richards never seemed to break character, though. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/60 "2009-09-20T02:06:14Z")
The Pony Remark cracks me up, always. The gist: HELEN: I hear the fella owns a couple of racehorses. You know, trotters, like at Yonkers. JERRY: Horses. They’re like big riding dogs. ELAINE: What about ponies? What kind of abnormal animal is that? And those kids who had their own ponies… JERRY: I know, I hated those kids. In fact, I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up. MANYA: …I had a pony. (The room is dead quiet) JERRY: …Well, I didn’t really mean a pony, per se. MANYA: (Angry) When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony, …So, what’s wrong with that? JERRY: Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just merely expressing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=4)