# Favorite Seinfeld lines/scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638 "2009-09-18T20:15:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/61 "2009-09-20T02:30:56Z")
And, that was a great example of [Larry Charles’](http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Premiere+Universal+Bruno+Arrivals+IgPPl1uvB4Yl.jpg) writing. Don’t think he gets enough attention with the humor change that Seinfeld signified. Though he went on to direct Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Borat, and Bruno. A wildly elegant man. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/62 "2009-09-20T02:33:42Z")
In the episode The Yada Yada, Jerry’s dentist Tim Whatley converts to Judaism and starts telling Jewish jokes. Jerry is bothered by this, so he visits a priest to discuss the matter. Part of their conversation follows. “I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he’s converted to Judaism purely for the jokes.” “And this offends you as a Jewish person?” “No, it offends me as a comedian.” ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/63 "2009-09-20T03:37:01Z")
> [@elelle](#): > > And, that was a great example of [Larry Charles’](http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Premiere+Universal+Bruno+Arrivals+IgPPl1uvB4Yl.jpg) writing. > Don’t think he gets enough attention with the humor change that Seinfeld signified. Though he went on to direct Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Borat, and Bruno. > > A wildly elegant man. And that’s him coming out of the airplane bathroom that Elaine has to use when she’s forced to sit in coach while Jerry enjoys first-class. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/64 "2009-09-20T04:26:51Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > In the episode The Yada Yada, Jerry’s dentist Tim Whatley converts to Judaism and starts telling Jewish jokes. Jerry is bothered by this, so he visits a priest to discuss the matter. Part of their conversation follows. > > “I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he’s converted to Judaism purely for the jokes.” > “And this offends you as a Jewish person?” > “No, it offends me as a comedian.” Those aren’t matza balls! ---
**Author:** ![PaperBlob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@PaperBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaperBlob)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/65 "2009-09-20T05:02:46Z")
Many of my favorites have already been posted, but here’s a few more: Message from George on Jerry’s machine “It’s George. I have nothing to say.” Another answering machinge message: “Jerry, it’s Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner’s here, George is dead, call me back!” Newman’s rant about why postmen go postal. The quote’s not all that funny when you read it - it’s all in the delivery. Jerry and Elaine, on shrinkage: “It shrinks?” “Like a frightened turtle.” “Why does it shrink?” “It just does.” “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.” Elaine, from the same episode: “Nice rack!” ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/66 "2009-09-20T05:09:41Z")
I thought it was Larry David, not Larry Charles? ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/67 "2009-09-20T05:43:56Z")
No, Larry David makes a ton of cameos in other episodes, but in that airplane one it’s Larry Charles. Note the sunglasses and ZZ-Top beard. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/68 "2009-09-20T05:56:31Z")
You guys are slip’n: Mr. Lippman: "It’s come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct? " George: “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.” ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/69 "2009-09-20T06:08:24Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > I thought it was Larry David, not Larry Charles? > [@DooWahDiddy](#): > > No, Larry David makes a ton of cameos in other episodes, but in that airplane one it’s Larry Charles. Note the sunglasses and ZZ-Top beard. 🙂 I think Superhal was saying “Isn’t it Larry David that wrote Seinfeld”? Larry David is the one I always think of when people say “Seinfeld writer”, but checking on IMDb, I see that Larry Charles is also credited as writer for Seinfeld. ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/70 "2009-09-20T06:24:30Z")
Larry David created Seinfeld with Jerry Seinfeld and he served as the head writer and executive producer for most of the seasons of the show. He was the inspiration for the George character and supplied the voice of George Steinbrenner. Larry Charles wrote some of the very best Seinfeld episodes. According to wikipedia he was instrumental in fleshing out the Kramer character and served as third in command under Seinfeld and David. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/71 "2009-09-20T06:32:07Z")
George: I said it once to a dog; it licked itself and left the room. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/72 "2009-09-20T07:06:36Z")
Did you just double-dip that chip? ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/73 "2009-09-20T07:36:09Z")
Very well, you guys forced me into posting it. (I use part of this dialogue almost daily) George: “I am not giving you my code.” Kramer: “I’ll bet I can guess it.” George: “Yeah, right.” Kramer: “Ah, all right, yeah… Let’s see… Well, we can throw out birthdays immediately. That’s too obvious. And no numbers for you. You’re a word man.” Kramer: " Let’s go deeper… What kind of man are you? **Well, you’re weak** , spineless, a man of temptations. But what tempts you?" Kramer: “You’re a portly fellow. A bit long in the waistband. So what’s your pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No no no no… Yours is a sweet tooth. Oh, you may stray, but you’ll always return to your dark master… The cocoa bean! And only the purest syrup nectar can satisfy you. If you could, you’d guzzle it by the gallon… Ovaltine!? Hershey’s!? Nestle’s Quick!?” The absolute deadpan, factual delivery of “Well, you’re weak.” slays me every time. I use this in everyday conversation far too much. ---
**Author:** ![Pray\_for\_peace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pray\_for\_peace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pray_for_peace)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/74 "2009-09-20T08:28:49Z")
They just write it off! Vandelay Industries The bro/mansiere ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/75 "2009-09-20T17:11:31Z")
Kramer picks up the phone in Jerry’s apartment and says “Vande-what?” Meanwhile George is in the bathroom screaming, “Say Vandelay, say Vandelay!” and then comes running out with his pants down around his ankles and falls to the ground. The kicker is when Jerry walks in and sees him there on the floor and says, “And to think, I was going to make you my latex salesman.” ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/76 "2009-09-20T17:19:55Z")
> [@Sidney Evgeni Jordan](#): > > They just write it off! I love that scene Jerry: “Do you even know what a write off is?” Kramer: “Do you?” Jerry: “No, I don’t.” Kramer: “Well they do, and they’re the ones writing it off.” ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/77 "2009-09-20T17:57:59Z")
A text description wouldn’t do this one justice: [youtube clip of The Voice](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aKniUjce4s) ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/78 "2009-09-20T18:44:01Z")
I swear, people will be watching Seinfeld in 100 years and still laughing their asses off. There’s just something about it I’ve never seen before in any other show. I can watch just about any episode and still laugh. I don’t do that with any other show (even if I enjoy watching the re-runs of, e.g., The Simpsons, I don’t _laugh_ the way I do with Seinfeld.) My favorite (well, one of a thousand favorites – I’m picking one that I don’t think anyone else has said yet) is the bit with the Junior Mint. I won’t butcher a transcription, but when Kramer says something like “How can you resist a Junior Mint? It’s little, it’s refreshing, it’s delicious!” Jerry pauses for a split second, then concedes the point “That’s true.” Kills me every time 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/79 "2009-09-20T19:52:18Z")
What do you guys think of Putty? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/80 "2009-09-20T19:54:31Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > You guys are slip’n: > > Mr. Lippman: "It’s come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct? " > > George: “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.” I always loved the innocent way George said, “Was that wrong?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=5)