# Favorite Seinfeld lines/scenes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [September 18, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638 "2009-09-18T20:15:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![GreenWyvern](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greenwyvern/32/2834_2.png) [@GreenWyvern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenWyvern)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/161 "2021-09-04T20:06:52Z")
> [@BrickBat](#): > > George had earlier explained to Jerry that he removes his shirt when he uses the bathroom ( to defecate ) to keep it from getting in the way. > > Later at a get together at his girlfriend’s home, in which George is desperately trying to re-ingratiate himself with his girlfriend’s family ( after earlier having made some revolting social faux pas in front of the mother ) George uses the bathroom. When he comes back out into the party, he’s stripped to the waist, sans shirt. His look when he’s realized this is priceless, as is the family’s reaction. I read somewhere that this was based on a real life incident involving a man who took off his trousers in the bathroom (far more logical!), and then forgot to put them back on before he walked out of the bathroom into a crowded party. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/162 "2021-09-04T20:37:19Z")
“Festivus for the rest of us!” “I got a lotta problems with you people!” Estelle: “You love my son?” Susan: “Yes!” Estelle: “May I ask why?” Frank: “You want a piece of me?” And the outtakes are hysterical. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/cFpKs4FEITo/maxresdefault.jpg "Seinfeld - Blooper "You wanna a Piece of Me"") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFpKs4FEITo) “I was in the pool!” “The sea was angry that day, my friends.” I have the boxed set and we keep it in the RV. Probably watched the whole series 20 times. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/163 "2021-09-04T21:38:57Z")
> [@jnglmassiv](#): > > [The Taste Has Nowhere To Hide! - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdChSEabeDw) Is that clip from the TBS version where they speed things up? It feels slightly too fast. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2021, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/164 "2021-09-05T00:06:46Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > Is that clip from the TBS version where they speed things up? Shoot, I hadn’t noticed but, yea, it’s it sped up. I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to post a bogus link. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2021, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/165 "2021-09-05T00:09:49Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > “The sea was angry that day, my friends.” “… Like an old man sending back a bowl of soup in a deli!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2021, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/166 "2021-09-05T03:05:22Z")
“You know, the very fact that you oppose this makes me think I’m on to something.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2021, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/167 "2021-09-05T03:11:12Z")
“Like a frightened turtle.” ---
**Author:** ![sweepkick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/87869e/32.png) [@sweepkick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sweepkick)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2021, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/168 "2021-09-05T05:00:57Z")
“We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tailgunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. (Long pause) There’s nothing funny about that.” Then… later in the same eposode… George with: “He’s in the bat-room” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2021, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/169 "2021-09-06T02:17:23Z")
George: “I have a sixth sense.” Jerry: “Cheapness is not a sense.” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2021, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/170 "2021-09-06T04:00:57Z")
Heavyset naked guy on the subway: “Hey, I’m not ashamed of my body.” Jerry: “That’s the thing. You should be.” I’ve often quoted this or thought of it in various situations. Reminds me of Craig Ferguson saying, “You ever noticed the people wearing very little at the beach are never the people you want to be wearing very little?” ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2021, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/171 "2021-09-06T12:12:27Z")
“I’m at the corner of First and First(\*). Jerry, I’m at the nexus of the universe!” \*Street and Avenue ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2021, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/172 "2021-09-06T17:38:39Z")
Artsy types react to the painting of Kramer: “I sense great vulnerability. A man-child crying out for love. An innocent orphan in the post-modern world.” “I see a parasite. A sexually depraved miscreant who is seeking only to gratify his basest and most immediate urges.” “His struggle is man’s struggle. He lifts my spirit.” “He is a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet I can’t look away.” “He transcends time and space.” “He sickens me.” “I love it.” “Me, too.” ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2021, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/173 "2021-09-06T17:51:38Z")
Jerry and Elaine at restaurant, talking about Newman Elaine: “_Maybe there’s more to Newman than meets the eye_” Jerry: “_No…there’s less_” ---
**Author:** ![mtnmatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@mtnmatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mtnmatt)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2021, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/174 "2021-09-06T18:57:53Z")
But “he is merry” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2021, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/175 "2021-09-08T03:57:55Z")
“You’re a nice guy, but I actually only have three friends. I can’t really handle any more.” ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2021, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/176 "2021-09-10T05:31:30Z")
I see some favorites. I probably randomly say, “But I don’t want to be a pirate!” at least once a week. I love one off characters, or even recurring minor characters. For instance, the Jiffy Park attendant guy. In “The Wig Master,” he steals every scene. Like this one: George: “Excuse me…huh… I think I made a big mistake. I’d like my deposit back please.” Attendant: “What’s the problem?” George: “You got hookers turning tricks in my car. How’s that for starters?” Attendant: **“Eh, that is all hearsay."** George: “Allright, very good I’d like my car and my deposit back please.” Attendant: "Can’t do it.” George: “Whaddaya mean?” Attendant: “If you read the agreement you signed the deposit is not refundable.” George: “Well does it say anywhere in the contract about my car being used as a whorehouse? 'Cause I don’t remember reading that clause either…” Attendant: **"What can I tell you buddy? Take it up with Consumer Affairs."** George:. “All right, just give me my car and let me get the hell out of here.” Attendant: “Well, that’s going to be a problem” George: “Why?” Attendant: “It’s all the way in the back. Can’t get it out for a couple of days.” George: “What are you talking about… I WANT MY CAR!!” Attendant: **"We ask that you please bear with us."** George: “Bear with you? This is a parking lot! PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO GET THEIR CARS!!!” Attendant: “Ideally…” Then he reappears in “The Muffin Tops” with the classic one liner, after Kramer can’t account for the tops of the muffins, **“That’s what I’d like to know about it.”** ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2021, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/177 "2021-09-10T11:55:22Z")
Elaine to Kramer : “Do you pee in the shower”?!? Kramer : “I take baths” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2021, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/178 "2021-09-11T16:35:33Z")
“I can’t be with someone like me. I hate myself!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2024, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/179 "2024-05-23T17:51:36Z")
Bumped. > **[Michael Richards talks 2006 racist rant, but he’s ‘not looking for a comeback’...](https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/23/entertainment/michael-richards-memoir/index.html)** > > After years of being off the radar, Michael Richards appears to be reemerging. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638/180 "2025-05-08T13:20:26Z")
“It’s like a full-body dry heave set to music.” > **[Julia Louis-Dreyfus Reveals the One Thing Seinfeld Fans Beg Her to Do (and...](https://www.aol.com/julia-louis-dreyfus-reveals-one-132258653.html)** > > "You wanna dance?" Julia Louis-Dreyfus on the never-ending Elaine dance requests (spoiler: she won't!). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-seinfeld-lines-scenes/510638.md?page=10)