# Favorite Signatures at SD **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 22, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260 "2000-08-22T03:29:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/1 "2000-08-22T03:29:22Z")
Unlikely to be Y3K compatible “Don’t talk to me of your Archimedes’ lever… Give me the right word and the right accent and I will move the world.” - Joseph Conrad “There are only two things that are infinite: The Universe, and human stupidity-- and I’m not sure about the Universe.” –A. Einstein “East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” – Marx Wesley pressed Data’s Control-Alt-Delete keys. He enjoyed this immensley, especially when the pretentious Android was about to say something important. If voting could change the system, it would be illegal. Nobody ever calls me after they’ve done something smart. Stir Good. Puppy on bottom. Stupidity should be painful. Rap music is for people incapable of non-linear thought. Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck! “The thing about a duck is, one of it’s legs are both the same” I told you not to be stupid, you moron. Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly “The man who cannot laugh at himself should be handed a mirror.” If I were beaned with a fastball, fling my limp, lifeless body to first, cause, dammit, I earned it! If rocket scientists are so smart, why do they count backwards? “Women are expected to do twice as much as men in half the time and for no credit. Fortunately, this isn’t difficult.” - Charlotte Whitton (1896 - 1975) Try not to have a good time…this is supposed to be educational. -Charles Schulz ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/2 "2000-08-22T05:06:14Z")
Where are we going and what am I doing in this handbasket? ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/3 "2000-08-22T05:19:14Z")
I am proud to proclaim that the all-time greatest sig to ever grace this board was courtesy of Neuro-Trash Grrl. _Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh._ Bwaaa-Ha-Hahhahaaahaaahaaaa! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/4 "2000-08-22T10:19:17Z")
The beatings will continue till morale improves. Vidi Vinni Viagra…I came, I saw, I came (pretty sure thats how it goes) Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly SATAN IS NOT AN UNATTRACTIVE PERSON thanks for the ringing endorsement, honey ---
**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/5 "2000-08-22T14:42:33Z")
There are lots of good .sig’s on this board. I like **CalMeacham** ’s: Tell Zeno I’m willing to meet him halfway Also, I don’t know whose it is(was?), but I also like: Four out of five people don’t understand fractions. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/6 "2000-08-22T14:48:09Z")
**aha** ’s sig of _Satan’s hero_. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/7 "2000-08-22T14:54:33Z")
Anything by Wally. That man had a talent. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/8 "2000-08-22T15:22:26Z")
I can’t think of a favorite sig line at the moment, because I’m simply overjoyed that I was mentioned in a favorite list, not once but twice. Not by name, but I’ll take it. {My old sig was the cranberries/apples/rhubarb one} 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/9 "2000-08-22T15:22:52Z")
I can’t remember it exactly, or who uses it: Knock softly but firmly. I like firm, soft knockers. and Sealemon88’s: You say “cheesy” like it’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/10 "2000-08-22T15:29:04Z")
I don’t remember who had this one: No matter how cynical I get, it’s never enough. And already mentioned: “There are only two things that are infinite: The Universe, and human stupidity-- and I’m not sure about the Universe.” –A. Einstein I’m sure there’s more, but I’m still on my first coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/11 "2000-08-22T15:32:44Z")
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pick-up trucks firing an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille. Again, courtesy of Neuro-trash grrrl (where the heck is she, anyway?) (I’ve typed this from memory, so it might not be exactly correct) ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/12 "2000-08-22T15:39:42Z")
I like mine. 🙂 and CalMecham’s “Zeno” one is cool. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/13 "2000-08-22T16:05:23Z")
I thought there was a hope of a mention on this thread but **no**. Does it have to be funny of original ? Your all a bunch of bastards . 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/14 "2000-08-22T17:00:17Z")
I thought this might be a good place to demonstrate my new sig. What do you think? It’s a line from a song by the band Garbage. There’s also the sig I use at The Other Message Board, which is “There’s nothing that can go wrong in the kitchen that you can’t fix with more butter.” ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/15 "2000-08-22T17:03:08Z")
I I I I V ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/16 "2000-08-22T17:05:42Z")
damn…shoulda had the sig included ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/17 "2000-08-22T17:06:33Z")
(heh heh heh…had to do it, beagle–thanks!) ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/18 "2000-08-22T17:26:49Z")
Bluemonchichi’s: “Monchichi, oh Monchichi, oh how soft and cuddly.” For some reason this gives me the warm fuzzies. I like to say it to one of my soft, cuddly kitties, in a sort of sing-song-y voice: “mon-CHI-chi, mon CHI-chi, so soft and cuddly” (repeat over and over). I have no idea what it is really supposed to mean. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/19 "2000-08-22T17:51:56Z")
I’m sure it’s tucked waaaaaay back inside your brain. Think 70’s toy…annoying theme. [http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=411847080](http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=411847080) My favorite sig was one of my old ones: “Love is like popsicles. You get too much, you get too high. Not enough and you’re gonna die” I also used to love (I forget who’s it was now) “Sucks to your assmar!” Zette ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260/20 "2000-08-22T18:08:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DrMatrix \* > Also, I don’t know whose it is(was?), but I also like: > > Four out of five people don’t understand fractions. Doc, I’m not sure who it was either but I think it went _five out of every four_ people don’t understand fractions. Also if you like statistics, did you realize that 3 out of every 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-signatures-at-sd/30260.md?page=2)