# Favorite Simpsons quote **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2002, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107 "2002-07-02T22:05:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/41 "2002-07-03T16:04:18Z")
Paraphrased, Homer: Lisa would you like a hamburger? Lisa: No. Homer: How bout a chicken leg? Lisa: Do you have any food that wasn’t brutally slaughtered? Homer: Umm, I think the veal died of loneliness. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/42 "2002-07-03T16:07:53Z")
**Lisa:** _(whilst ogling Nelson)_ “He’s like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest. Sure is ugly, though.” ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/43 "2002-07-03T16:11:47Z")
When Homer became a celebrity gopher, and Ron Howard was a guest… RH: Homer, you smell like grass and vodka. Homer: It’s a drink I made myself, it’s called a lawnmower. You want one? RH: (pause) yeah, alright. later in the same episode, Ron calls Homer on the phone RH: Hey Homer, we need more vodka. ---
**Author:** ![Spudo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Spudo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spudo)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/44 "2002-07-03T16:29:29Z")
Smithers: Shall I send out for Chinese sir? Burns: No, those people are all gristle. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/45 "2002-07-03T16:34:23Z")
Milhouse: Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl? ---
**Author:** ![crazy4chaucer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@crazy4chaucer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazy4chaucer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/46 "2002-07-03T16:38:18Z")
One of Bart’s blackboards: I have neither been there nor done that. I have neither been there nor done that. I have neither been there nor done that. I have neither been there nor done that. I have neither been there nor done that. I have neither been there nor done that. I have neither been there nor done that. I have neither been there nor done that. ---
**Author:** ![Jorel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jorel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorel)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/47 "2002-07-03T16:44:48Z")
There are so many, but these are the ones that come to mind first: (Clancy Wiggum) “Bake 'em away toys” (_very_ frustrated Witness Protection agent) “Now when I say ‘hello Mr. Thompson’ and step on your foot you smile and nod” (Luke Skywalker singing dinner theater) “Luke be a Jedi toniiiiiiiight” and finally…not a quote…when Joe Namath was ending the episode with a big grin. then stops grinning abruptly…then goes back to the big grin. My husband and I make that face to each other sometimes and we always crack up. I love the Simpsons. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jorel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jorel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorel)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/48 "2002-07-03T16:48:17Z")
ps I wanted to mention Homer’s stage whisper to the other witness protection guy: “I think he’s talking to you” ---
**Author:** ![Tremmie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Tremmie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tremmie)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/49 "2002-07-03T17:53:51Z")
“i noticed your house smells like feces… and not just monkey feces” ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/50 "2002-07-03T18:03:31Z")
Kang: We must go forward, not backwards. Upwards, and not forward! And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!! ---
**Author:** ![lionel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@lionel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lionel)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/51 "2002-07-03T18:22:40Z")
When Apu had to live with the Simpson’s after losing his job at the Quick-E-Mart he sang a song about how happy he was. After the song the family hears Apu crying on the roof. Homer: Hey! he lied to us through song, I hate when people do that! ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/52 "2002-07-03T18:36:21Z")
As seen as someone’s sig here: “Why wont those stupid idiots let me into their crappy club for jerks?” and “You tried your best, and failed. Never try.” by HJS. and from Bart and Lisa- “Hard work made us quit.” another from Homer, in the flash forward at the Indian casino- “That lying, rail-splitting, theatre-going freak!” when he discovers Lincoln’s “gold”. Don’t get me started, we could be here a while. ---
**Author:** ![p\_cific\_812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/53 "2002-07-03T19:15:31Z")
Homer is bargaining for a Krusty doll or something in one of the Halloween episodes I believe(?). Anyway, Homer is in a mysterious shop ala _Gremlins_ and has this conversation with the proprietor… Shopkeeper:\ Take this object, but beware – it carries a terrible curse. Homer: Ooh, that’s bad. Shopkeeper:\<(brightly\> But it comes with a free Frogurt! Homer: That’s good! Shopkeeper:\ The Frogurt is also cursed. Homer: That’s bad. Shopkeeper:\ But you get your choice of topping! Homer: That’s good! Shopkeeper:\ The toppings contain potassium benzoate. Homer: \ Shopkeeper: That’s bad. Homer: Can I go now? That is some good stuff, though not exactly a “quote” now that I think about it-- oh well… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![peasea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc79bd/32.png) [@peasea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peasea)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/54 "2002-07-03T19:15:47Z")
Bart: How’re those berries, Ralph? Ralph: They taste like…burning. (Collapses on ground, moaning) Smithers (I think), on golf course: Use an open-faced club! A sand wedge! Homer: Mmm…open-faced club sandwich… Marge: There’s no shame in being a pariah. Homer, after breaking promise to get rid of his gun: But, Marge, I swear to you! I never thought you’d find out! ---
**Author:** ![benson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@benson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/benson)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/55 "2002-07-03T19:31:42Z")
Future fat Bart: Ah wash mahself with a rag on a stick. Audience claps. ---
**Author:** ![RickQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@RickQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickQ)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/56 "2002-07-03T19:37:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by msmith537 \* > \*\* > > Raneir Wolfcastle: ZE GOGGLES!! ZE DO NOTHING!!! > > \*\* I thought it was McBain who said ths, playing the part of Radioactive Man McBain:“Aah, My eyes! Ze goggles, zey do nothing!” And another \:“Ice to see you” LMAO Rick ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/57 "2002-07-03T19:38:28Z")
Another from the late, great Phil Hartman (as Troy McClure): [in song] I hate every ape I seeeeee From chimpan A to chimpan Zeeeeeeeeeee You’ve finally made a monkey out of meeeeeeeeeeeee! ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/58 "2002-07-03T20:25:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickQ \* > \*\* > > I thought it was McBain who said ths, playing the part of Radioactive Man > \*\* Rainer Wolfcastle is McBain. McBain is a movie character, Ranier is an actor. ---
**Author:** ![cainxinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@cainxinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cainxinth)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/59 "2002-07-03T20:29:47Z")
Marge: Do you just follow my husband around everywhere? Hot Dog Vendor: Lady, he’s putting my kids through college. ---
**Author:** ![funkynige](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@funkynige](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funkynige)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-simpsons-quote/117107/60 "2002-07-03T20:35:04Z")
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