# Favorite single line from television? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 26, 2016, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309 "2016-01-26T22:05:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2016, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/241 "2016-01-28T19:38:48Z")
The Simpsons - Smithers: “…what’s this about a fisting?” (Context - Flanders is trying to get Homer to punch him in the face. He says “Come on Homer, I’m insisting on a fisting!” and Smithers suddenly appears.) ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2016, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/242 "2016-01-28T19:57:11Z")
C.J. Cregg: “I can’t believe we’re the same species.” George Costanza: “It didn’t take.” ---
**Author:** ![Evin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@Evin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evin)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2016, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/243 "2016-01-28T21:48:25Z")
“This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.” ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/244 "2016-01-29T02:28:46Z")
“Kiss my grits!” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/245 "2016-01-29T02:40:58Z")
“You know how sometimes after a long day you’ll come home and toss your coat over a chair? Well, imagine if instead of a chair, it’s a pile of garbage. And instead of a coat, it’s a pile of garbage.” - Ross, describing the slovenly habits of a woman he has recently started dating ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/246 "2016-01-29T03:10:14Z")
> [@sqweels](#): > > “I didn’t get where I am today by dressing up as _half a compost heap!_” “Wreckers of law and order. Communists, Maoists, Trotskyists, neo-Trotskyists, crypto-Trotskyists, union leaders, Communist union leaders, atheists, agnostics, long-haired weirdos, short-haired weirdos, vandals, hooligans, football supporters, namby-pamby probation officers, rapists, papists, papist rapists, foreign surgeons - headshrinkers, who ought to be locked up, Wedgwood Benn, keg bitter, punk rock, glue-sniffers, “Play For Today”, Clive Jenkins, Roy Jenkins, Up Jenkins, up everybody’s, Chinese restaurants - why do you think Windsor Castle is ringed with Chinese restaurants?” "You realise the sort of people you’re going to attract, don’t you, Jimmy? Thugs, bully-boys, psychopaths, sacked policemen, security guards, sacked security guards, racialists, Paki-bashers, queer-bashers, Chink-bashers, anybody-bashers, rear Admirals, queer admirals, Vice Admirals, fascists, neo-fascists, crypto-fascists, loyalists, neo-loyalists, crypto-loyalists. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/247 "2016-01-29T03:38:08Z")
**Homer** (grumbling): Take thy beak from out my heart and take thy form from off my door. **Narrator** : Quoth the Raven– **Raven Bart** : Nevermore. **Homer** : Why you little– **Raven Bart** : Uh, oh! ---
**Author:** ![eburacum45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eburacum45/32/8690_2.png) [@eburacum45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eburacum45)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/248 "2016-01-29T04:07:20Z")
Sir, are you absolutely sure? It DOES mean changing the bulb! ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/249 "2016-01-29T04:57:10Z")
There’s a brief dialog at the end of a _Kojak_ episode that impressed me. Kojak has just gotten off the witness stand where the judge scolded him for failing to read defendant his Miranda rights, etc. In fact Kojak’s failure was deliberate: the defendant was a nice guy propelled to violence against a loanshark. Capt: “Internal Affairs is going to want to question you.” Lt. Kojak: “I’ll tell them: To err is human.” Capt. “They don’t pay us to be human, Theo.” Lt. Kojak: “Well how about: To forgive is divine.” ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/250 "2016-01-29T05:11:51Z")
“Turn right at rock that look like bear. Then turn left at bear that look like rock.” ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/251 "2016-01-29T06:57:04Z")
George Gobel, many years ago: “If it wasn’t for electricity we would all be watching TV by candle- light.” ---
**Author:** ![bmasters1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@bmasters1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmasters1)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/252 "2016-01-29T10:01:30Z")
How about Max at the top of _Hart to Hart_: “I take care of both of 'em, which ain’t easy, 'cause when they met, it was murder!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/253 "2016-01-29T11:06:26Z")
“Shazam! Go-o-o-o-o-lee!” “Surprise, surprise, surprise!” “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!” “Pvt. Pyle looks up to you. He considers you a father figure.”\* \*Yeah, right! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/254 "2016-01-29T11:07:26Z")
“We-e-e-el, doggies!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/255 "2016-01-29T12:23:03Z")
"A typical case, whom we shall refer to as ‘Mr A’—although his real name is this: ARTHUR JACKSON 32A MILTON AVENUE, HOUNSLOW, MIDDLESEX." ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/256 "2016-01-29T12:28:01Z")
“I know NO-THING, I see NO-THING!” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/257 "2016-01-29T14:23:26Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “I know NO-THING, I see NO-THING!” “You know nothing, Sergeant Schultz” ``` --Ygritte (in a very weird alternate reality) ``` ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/258 "2016-01-29T16:30:31Z")
from Archer: When they’re _alive_ they’re call girls, Cyril! When they’re dead, they’re _hookers_! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/259 "2016-01-29T16:33:26Z")
So go already, bag with which one douches! ---
**Author:** ![Totenfeier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Totenfeier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totenfeier)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2016, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309/260 "2016-01-29T17:18:59Z")
“What’s goin’ on, Mr. Peterson?” “I’d rather talk about what’s goin’ IN Mr. Peterson.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-single-line-from-television/744309.md?page=14)