# Favorite Steve Wright quote?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-steve-wright-quote/66060>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [May 21, 2001, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-steve-wright-quote/66060 "2001-05-21T07:13:30Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\
**Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-steve-wright-quote/66060/41 "2001-05-23T15:31:46Z")

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“I went to a Presidential Dinner, and ask how much a plate?”

“$500”

“Oh…I’ll just have a cup of coffee.”

“$40.”

“Then give me a glass of water.”

“$5”

“How much is it to BREATHE?”

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**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-steve-wright-quote/66060/42 "2001-05-24T06:03:08Z")

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Once I looked out my window and I saw a bird wearing sneakers. He had a little button on that said “I ain’t flying NOWHERE!” So I called out, “Hey, buddy, what’s your problem?” He says, “I’m sick of this! Every year, it’s winter here, summer there, winter here, summer there! I don’t know who thought this up, but it certainly wasn’t a bird.” So I say, "Well, I was just making breakfast; come on in. Do you want some eggs?

“Sorry…”

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**Author:** ![kawliga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ea666f/32.png) [@kawliga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kawliga)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2001, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-steve-wright-quote/66060/43 "2001-05-24T08:08:56Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by DarrenS \*  
> \*\*  
> I even made up my own:
> 
> “I have a tough job. I’m a door-to-door salesman; I sell ‘NO SOLICITING’ signs.”  
> \*\*

You did’t make that up. That’s from “The Abbott and Costello Show.”

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