# Favorite "Warehouse 23" items? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 29, 2006, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951 "2006-12-29T03:59:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/21 "2007-01-03T07:45:24Z")
[QUOTE=dogbutler] and “Everybody is trying to drive me insane.” [/QUOTE] And _“Everyone thinks I’m insane.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/22 "2007-01-03T08:36:54Z")
To go along with the ballcap… > [@](#): > > The Box of Denial. A small safe-sized black box with a heavy hinged lid. There are government stamps on the side but the Latin mottos are unreadable and blurred. Whatever you put in the box becomes corrupted and unbelievable in some way - photos of moon landings look like they have been tinkered with, aliens on autopsy videos look like latex fakes and maps change to make the shot from the grassy knoll impossible. Unfortunately, it can never be used to PROVE anything… ---
**Author:** ![tashabot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tashabot/32/6250_2.png) [@tashabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tashabot)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/23 "2007-01-03T09:27:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Telephone directories for Asgard, Mount Olympus, Purgatory, Nirvana, and Duluth, Minnesota. > > What seems to be a mobile phone with a single red button. Anyone pressing the button will reach an operator who can connect the user to anyone or anything. A yellowed note in the bottom of the box reads, in shaky handwriting, “Don’t ask for Cthulhu, not even as a joke!” > > An Etch-A-Sketch. It’s got 16 megs of RAM. > > A weed-whacker, a live chicken, and a bottle of peach preserves. > > A cigarette. If lit, it will instantly summon all buses and trams in a 10-mile radius. > > A city in a bottle. It’s Cleveland. > > A Teletubby/English English/Teletubby dictionary. The program isn’t remotely cute when you understand the words… I spend too much time just…looking…at that Web site. ~Tasha ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/24 "2007-01-03T13:48:00Z")
[QUOTE=clayton\_e] I take back my request.. They ask that the contents are not listed in total anywhere and mention vaguely that it falls under copyright. And even if it doesn’t.. I’m having fun hitting refresh over and over. [/QUOTE] Ah, just peeked at the FAQ - the bit about Compilation Copyright is new to me, and I don’t think it was there the last time I read the FAQ. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/25 "2007-01-03T13:48:09Z")
[QUOTE=dogbutler] I think **Bosda** found this one already: A black baseball cap with the All-Seeing Pyramid on the front and the legend “Carpe Fnord” on the back. Anybody who puts this hat on will never want to part with it, only taking it off to sleep (and sometimes not even then). That person also gains the Delusions “Everybody hates me,” “Everybody is part of the Illuminati,” and “Everybody is trying to drive me insane.” [/QUOTE] **IT’S NOT A DELUSION!!!** You’re trying to make people think I’m _Crazy_, aren’t you?!? You’re ALL trying to make people think I’m _Crazy_, aren’t you?!? Everybody’s against me! Against me…and against my Pretty Cap! Soooo pretty…nice cap…my preciousssss… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2007, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/26 "2007-01-03T23:30:05Z")
I could use some of this stuff, actually… [QUOTE=Warehouse 23] You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find… A 8oz. spray can with a plastic nozzle extender. The can is labeled “Magic Blue Smoke Replacement” . Label instructions direct the user to spray this stuff on broken/suspect electronic parts, right in-circuit. Treated parts will be like new in functionality, but their appearance won’t change. A treated toasted transistor will still look toasted, but it will work fine. There is enough ‘blue smoke’ in this can to fix a thoroughly toasted/zapped personal computer. [/quote] ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2007, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/27 "2007-01-04T00:43:43Z")
The most terrifying object I found actually requires a bit of thought to work out exactly what’s so dangerous about it. It was a room-temperature icecube. ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/28 "2007-01-06T22:34:34Z")
You open one of the 1002 boxes on this floor and find… A red uniform. If it is worn on any kind of expedition, the wearer is 500 times more likely to die from an alien attack, natural disaster, bizarre disease, etc… than before. If the wearer is somehow separated from the group, you might as well quit looking for him now. …so THAT’S where they came from… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/29 "2007-01-07T00:34:29Z")
> [@](#): > > A padlocked case in which is held a bronze amulet resembling a steering wheel covered with mystic runes. Documents indicate that whoever wears the amulet will, under the light of the full moon, be transformed into whatever object is represented by the name of his or her car. There are also photocopies of the minutes of the meeting at which most of the major car manufacturers were convinced to, henceforth, give their new cars meaningless names, and a permit for the summary destruction of any and all Chevy Novas. I should hope so! ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/30 "2007-01-07T03:31:40Z")
[QUOTE=Lightnin’] The most terrifying object I found actually requires a bit of thought to work out exactly what’s so dangerous about it. It was a room-temperature icecube. [/QUOTE] Ice-nine! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/31 "2007-01-07T04:29:58Z")
I submitted a handwritten journal purporting to be the account of a time-traveler who will soon cease to exist because of accidently creating a temporal paradox. The journal is in the reader’s handwriting. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/32 "2007-01-07T04:34:48Z")
I haven’t gone through the site, but there’s one I remember from a GURPS “Best of Pyramid” book. I wonder if it’s there. It went something like this: _A 12-year-old girl, in suspended animation, wrapped in plastic film. If unwrapped, she awakens. The last thing she remembers is walking into a drugstore in Toledo, Ohio in i952._ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/33 "2007-01-07T04:41:41Z")
I submitted one that went something like, “[…you open the box and find:] A two-metre-wide cupcake. When translated from the ancient Greek, writing on the cupcake’s icing reads, ‘And now you are one!’. The cupcake is slightly stale but otherwise quite delicious. There is a single huge bite taken from it.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/34 "2007-01-07T06:31:35Z")
A pack of Twinkies that have passed their expiration date. Small lizard-like creatures are hatching from them. This explains some things… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/35 "2007-01-09T15:03:22Z")
I made a submission to the Secret Illuminated Masters of Warehouse 23. > [@](#): > > You find 3 bags, similar to the kind that potato chips are kept in, but larger (1.5 Meters).They are each labeled “A Big Bag Of Freak!” If you open one up, a hulking creature (2.5 Meters Tall) will emerge. The Freak has 3 fingers on each hand, one arm longer than the other, a hunchback, and a single eye in the middle of its forehead. He is carrying a large club, with which he begins to clobber any member of the party within reach. Treat The Freak as an Ogre, with a -4 Penalty to hit with ranged attacks (no depth perception), and 2 attacks per round. He will fight to the death. The second bag also contains an identical Freak. The third is empty. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2007, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951/36 "2007-01-09T15:33:15Z")
Another submission: "The box is almost full of a thick, sweet-smelling, viscous liquid that is whirling to a stop, as if a blender had just been turned off. A few bubbles surface and pop. Upon investigation, the liquid proves to be a ‘smoothie’, a drink made from pulverised fruit and vegetables, water, hemp oil, and vitamin extract. It is an unnerving greenish-red, as if someone had combined strawberries and spinach. It is quite delicious, though, and nourishes and refreshes the onlookers who sample it. If someone thinks to strain it with a coarse mesh, they will find fruit pieces in visually-disturbing shapes." Guess what I had for breakfast. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-warehouse-23-items/385951.md?page=1)