# Favorite way to say "He/she's kinda slow or not all there"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 17, 2008, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817 "2008-07-17T12:49:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/61 "2008-07-17T18:47:53Z")
I tell my kids, “It’s a good thing you’re head’s attached”. And the one I learned from my Russian teacher. He was just explaining the Soviet schooling system, but I’ve kept it. “Somebody’s gotta plough.” ---
**Author:** ![dactylic\_hexameter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d26b3c/32.png) [@dactylic\_hexameter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dactylic_hexameter)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/62 "2008-07-17T18:56:05Z")
Oo! Oo! I forgot my true favorite. At work, we have this thing that on any given day you can be either pretty or smart, but not both. Thus when someone screws up, “You’re looking reeaall pretty today!” Also, my Serbian friend taught me this one: “This head was not made for two legs.” It’s nicely ambiguous - is the person too smart to be human, or dumb enough to be a dog? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/63 "2008-07-17T18:58:23Z")
I might have picked it up here – if so, I apologize to the person who coined it for not remembering who you are: _Not the swiftest wildebeest on the Serengeti_. It’s my default phrase any more. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/64 "2008-07-17T18:59:12Z")
He don’t have the sense that God gave lettuce. (broccoli … the front lawn …) She can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. He is \*not \*a woodland creature. (more for someone who seems smart but has no practical skills) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/65 "2008-07-17T19:01:34Z")
Couldn’t get a clue if he rubbed himself all over with clue musk and did the clue mating call naked in a field of horny clues in clue breeding season. Dumb as a bag of hammers all with “Duh” branded on the handle. Couldn’t find his ass with an atlas, a compass and a native guide. Played too much football with his helmet off. (Your brand of the game, obviously. /dry brit) ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/66 "2008-07-17T19:03:08Z")
I think I made this one up. That guy would make a great door stop. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/67 "2008-07-17T19:06:18Z")
[QUOTE=robardin] Fifty responses in and nobody’s mentioned “couldn’t find his own ass with both hands (…and a mirror) (…and a road map) (…and a flashlight)” yet? All right! [/QUOTE] fine, ‘Couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the sole.’ ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/68 "2008-07-17T19:08:13Z")
A few clowns short of a circus. Bumped his head one too many times. Doesn’t have the sense God gave a carrot. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/69 "2008-07-17T19:10:30Z")
Doesn’t have the brains God promised an oyster. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/70 "2008-07-17T19:15:08Z")
“dummer than a hundred chickens” “he’s about a quart low, isn’t he?” [Jean Stapleton to Holly Hunter in the movie _Michael_: “Are you in some way… impaired?” “You’re so bright I bet your daddy called you boy” (variation on the sarcastic “so bright your daddy called you ‘sun’” pun) “bit more of a Garfunkel than a Simon” “His mama handled Propecia” Whenever _I_ say or do something stupid I beg indulgence for being “a little stupid on my Daddy’s side”. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/71 "2008-07-17T19:21:45Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Played too much football with his helmet off. [/QUOTE] Apparently originated with LBJ in reference to then-House Minority Leader Gerald Ford (center, Michigan Wolverines, 1931-'35). ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/72 "2008-07-17T19:29:43Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Couldn’t get a clue if he rubbed himself all over with clue musk and did the clue mating call naked in a field of horny clues in clue breeding season. [/QUOTE] ::checks scorecard:: Hmmm, we may have a winner here! This is some funny, funny stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/73 "2008-07-17T19:36:20Z")
He wouldn’t piss if his pants were on fire. Forrest Gump wears his ‘I’m with Stupid’ shirt when he goes out with you. Elvis has left the building. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/74 "2008-07-17T19:43:57Z")
If brains were gasoline, his wouldn’t be enough to make a piss ant’s go-kart go around the inside of a Cheerio. He’s as bright as a burnt out lightbulb covered in tar buried in the storm cellar of a coal mine. Courtesy of my dad. ETA- Oh, and if you balanced his brain on the edge of a razor, I’d be like bouncing a BB down a 4 lane highway. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/75 "2008-07-17T19:48:53Z")
Lemme see if the Canonical List of FullDeskisms is still avail… heh! [Sure is!](http://herbison.com/canon/fulldeck.html) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/76 "2008-07-17T19:50:01Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] If brains were gasoline, his wouldn’t be enough to make a piss ant’s go-kart go around the inside of a Cheerio. He’s as bright as a burnt out lightbulb covered in tar buried in the storm cellar of a coal mine. Courtesy of my dad. ETA- Oh, and if you balanced his brain on the edge of a razor, I’d be like bouncing a BB down a 4 lane highway. [/QUOTE] Thy father rocketh mightily! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/77 "2008-07-17T19:53:07Z")
[QUOTE=AHunter3] Lemme see if the Canonical List of FullDeskisms is still avail… heh! [Sure is!](http://herbison.com/canon/fulldeck.html) [/QUOTE] Og be praised - that list has 488 entries!!! Whoa. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/78 "2008-07-17T19:53:33Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] ETA- Oh, and if you balanced his brain on the edge of a razor, I’d be like bouncing a BB down a 4 lane highway. [/QUOTE] If you put his brain in the belly button of a gnat, it’d rattle around like a BB in a Corn Flakes box. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/79 "2008-07-17T19:57:10Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] Og be praised - that list has 488 entries!!! [/QUOTE] Nitpick: **1** 488 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817/80 "2008-07-17T19:58:24Z")
[QUOTE=emilyforce] Nitpick: **1** 488 [/QUOTE] He’s a grand short of a list of fulldeckisms. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favorite-way-to-say-he-shes-kinda-slow-or-not-all-there/456817.md?page=5)