# Favourite "Archer" lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 13, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347 "2011-06-13T19:26:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/41 "2011-06-14T17:42:45Z")
“OK, everybody out of the SS _Pedophilia_.” “You’re gonna get quite a laugh out of this, Mr. Archer. I mixed up your charts!” “Sterling Mallory Archer!” “Honey, nobody’s _that_ gay.” “C’mon, let her have this one, guys.” ---
**Author:** ![beartato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@beartato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beartato)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/42 "2011-06-14T18:16:31Z")
“This van is, like, rolling probably cause.” ---
**Author:** ![beartato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@beartato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beartato)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/43 "2011-06-14T18:18:47Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “OK, everybody out of the SS _Pedophilia_.” Wait, is this the one about Krieger’s van? That’s the S.S.\* Date Rape\*. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/44 "2011-06-14T18:48:11Z")
Barry, does this make up for Framboise? It does, other Barry. It sure does. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/45 "2011-06-14T19:01:20Z")
> [@beartato](#): > > Wait, is this the one about Krieger’s van? That’s the S.S.\* Date Rape\*. I must be misremembering it, then. Thanks. I checked [IMDb.com](http://IMDb.com), and unfortunately it doesn’t have an _Archer_ Quotes section yet. ---
**Author:** ![Chilon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Chilon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chilon)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/46 "2011-06-14T20:16:32Z")
“You haven’t seen the last of Conway Stern! Which is not my real name!” Ok, maybe not the favourite (it’s really hard to pick one), but for some reason it’s the _Archer_ line that always comes to mind first. Maybe because _Diversity Hire_ was my first episode of the series. Unlikely as it seems, I’m still holding out hope for the return of Conway Stern. Which is not his real name. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/47 "2011-06-14T20:28:34Z")
> [@Chilon](#): > > Unlikely as it seems, I’m still holding out hope for the return of Conway Stern. Which is not his real name. He’ll definitely be back. No doubt. “Nice gun. Did it come with a matching handbag?” -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/48 "2011-06-14T20:43:02Z")
Phrasing! ---
**Author:** ![Scoobysnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Scoobysnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoobysnax)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/49 "2011-06-14T20:59:11Z")
“you got shot. Again!” “okay your fingers” ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/50 "2011-06-15T02:46:56Z")
Lana: I am literally wet with jealousy. The whole “Placebo Effect” episode cracks me up like no other. Some favorite parts: The set-up for this one is what makes it: Archer: What have I been doing? Lana: Chain smoking joints the size of tampons. Archer: Eww. Lana: Just a figure of speech. Archer: Still, eww. And also, Archer: Do I look like I need bald guy cream?. Mikey, I can barely get a comb through this. It’s so thick my barber charges me double. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/51 "2011-06-15T03:02:11Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Oh yeah, if one of my friends or I leave something in a mess or whatever, someone always yells, “Do you want ants? Cuz that’s how you get ants!” Bitch, I got ants _all over_ me! ---
**Author:** ![beartato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@beartato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beartato)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/52 "2011-06-15T06:20:59Z")
… And M, as in Mancy. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/53 "2011-06-15T07:06:01Z")
“…your own fingers…” “Blimps are terrible!” and the reason I love this show: “No, do not say the Chekov gun Cyril, that is a facile argument.” “and woefully esoteric\>” ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/54 "2011-06-15T12:28:09Z")
God, we hate Pam. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/55 "2011-06-15T13:10:47Z")
“He’s an affirmative action two-fer!” ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/56 "2011-06-15T13:11:24Z")
_Cheryl:_ Say the right stuff, and they just send you to a mental hospital for 10 months. _Ray:_ I just this second realized why you do macrame instead of knitting. _Cheryl:_ Trust me, you can’t control a person’s heart. _Krieger:_ You can with a little thing I call a deep cycle marine battery … or LSD. “Sploosh” makes me laugh out loud every time. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/57 "2011-06-15T13:32:48Z")
Not a word! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody. No I mean now. I’m going to pretend you’re Alex Karras. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/58 "2011-06-15T14:22:36Z")
Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts? No, ISIS agents use Krav Maga. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/59 "2011-06-15T16:30:55Z")
Not often, but useful anytime someone breaks anything glass: **And there goes the other Steuben.** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-archer-lines/585347/60 "2011-06-15T17:13:15Z")
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