# Favourite Frank Zappa quote, lyric **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 11, 2008, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929 "2008-03-11T04:49:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/41 "2008-03-12T04:23:35Z")
[QUOTE=Loach] Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn [/QUOTE] Oh yeah? I’ll see your robot sex and raise you this: Watch out where the huskies go, don’t you eat that yellow snow ohh ho, a ho-ho-ho . . . 😃 Frank’s the best. He’s the best of us. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/42 "2008-03-12T04:43:56Z")
The Idiot Bastard Son The child will thrive & grow And enter the world Of liars & cheaters & people like you Who smile & think you know What this is about (you think you know everything… maybe so) The song we sing, do you know? Were listening… The idiot boy! ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/43 "2008-03-12T04:45:34Z")
Oh, fuck, I’m gonna need a truss! --Studebaker Hoch, in _Billy The Mountain_ ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/44 "2008-03-12T06:03:04Z")
Favorite lyrics: Broken Hearts are for Assholes Don’t forget, though, that Zappa wasn’t just Mr. Funny Lyrics. He was a helluva guitar player and composer, too. That’s why I’m surprised none of the playlists above include his three instrumental albums: Shut Up 'N Play Yer Guitar Shut Up 'N Play Yer Guitar Some More Return of the Son of Shut Up 'N Play Yer Guitar ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/45 "2008-03-12T09:10:33Z")
Quote: “Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.” ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/46 "2008-03-12T09:44:42Z")
[QUOTE=Big Bad Voodoo Lou] In my family, none of us can hear the word “poncho” without asking rhetorically, “Is that a real poncho, or is that a Sears poncho?” [/QUOTE] My friends and I do that all the time too. Any time we mention Mexico, Sears, or ponchos. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/47 "2008-03-12T10:43:32Z")
I got a cheerleader here Wants to help with my paper Let her do all the work And maybe later I’ll rape her (Oh God! I am the American Dream. . .) ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/48 "2008-03-12T12:36:25Z")
Opal, you hot little bitch! (Yeah, it’s nuthin’ in print, but you gotta hear it. Rent [_200 Motels_.) Billy was a mountain. Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![Smid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/838e76/32.png) [@Smid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smid)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/49 "2008-03-12T13:18:48Z")
From “Dumb all over” on “You are what you is” “You can’t run a country By a book of religion Not by a heap Or a lump or a smidgeon Of foolish rules Of ancient date Designed to make You all feel great While you fold, spindle And mutilate Those unbelievers From a neighboring state” As relevant now as it ever was… ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/50 "2008-03-13T05:26:36Z")
Reading all the favorite quotes confirms something I’ve long believed… more on that in a second. One of the few times I ever found Zappa likeable was in a brief appearance on the David Letterman SHow, while he was promoting his album with the London Philharmonic. Letterman was very imp[ressed, and asked, “That’s a very prestigious orchestra, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” agreed Zappa. “And how do you get to work with such a great group of musicians,” asked Dave. Matter-of-factly and without a hint of sarcasm, Zappa answered, “You pay them a lot of money.” THAT, I suspect, is pretty close to the real Zappa, though it’s far from the guy that teenage smart alecks worshipped. I never knew the real Frank Zappa, obviously. I know him solely by the music he left behind and by the public persona he showed on TV and in the media. And in my opinion, the public Frank Zappa was pretty much an asshole. Someone once said that Ernest Hemingway’s least interesting character was “Papa Hemingway,” the public persona he created for himself. In the same way, I think Frank Zappa’s public persona was mostly a put-on, and not a very interesting one. In his public appearances, Zappa was OCCASIONALLY hilarious… but mostly, well, kinda stupid. But I give the man credit- he knew exactly where his fan base lay: with fifteen year old intellectual suburban white boys who think that everybody on Earth is a phony or an asshole, except for themselves and Zappa. And he marketed his work very successfully to that fan base. If I seem to be dismissive of Zappa, I don’t (fully) intend to be. His strengths were real and numerous. Among them: 1. He was a remarkable guitarist. 2. He had an unmatched ability to discover and nurture talent. A stint with Zappa ALWAYS made a musician much better. 3. He commanded immense respect from top-notch musicians in many genres. He wouldn’t have received or kept such respect so long if he’d really been the snotty, sarcastic prick he pretended to be in public 24/7. 4. His work shows a complexity that most “progressive” rock bands can’t begin to approach. 5. He was one of the most prolific, productive, disciplined, hard-working musicians ever. And that’s why it blows my mind how little of the music he left behind is any good! With all the talent he possessed, with all the talent he was able to surround himself with, there’s no excuse for such a spotty, boring body of work. Yes, I said boring. Listen to his album with the London Philharmonic. That album cost Zappa a lot of money to make. It was clearly a labor of love, that had no chance of making a profit. And it is dull beyond description. Not annoyingly bad. Not ear-splittingly unlistenable. Just the opposite, in fact. It’s tepid, uninspired, unimaginative stuff. The light-hearted titles he gave to each piece would lead you to expect something funny or cutting edge. Instead, it’s just vanilla. When Zappa was rocking, he was sometimes fun in small doses. But he always gave the impression that he was slumming, and that he held much of his audience in contempt. That would be forgivable if the “real” work he was doing was brilliant. Sadly, it usually wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/51 "2008-03-13T06:00:56Z")
[QUOTE=astorian] And in my opinion, the public Frank Zappa was pretty much an asshole. [/QUOTE] I could not disagree with you more. Many moons ago when I was in college Zappa came to the school to give a lecture (for want of a better term). This was just after the PMRC/congress thing and it was advertised as a lecture on the first ammendment. First off the bat he apologized for the bad advertisements, he was there to speak about anything and everything. He _was_ the public Frank Zappa. He was funny, insightful, thoughtful, gracious and charming. He took questions from the audience and treated even the stupid questions with respect. I agreed with almost nothing he said, particularly when it came to politics. But I always respected his opinion and appreciated how he said it. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/52 "2008-03-13T10:28:13Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > And that’s why it blows my mind how little of the music he left behind is any good! I’m sort of with you on that _but_ with the sheer amount of stuff he put out if (like me) you only like maybe 5% of what he did that’s more than most rock bands entire output. I read an interview with Steve Vai where he admitted to not enjoying all of FZ’s music. IIRC he was a bit dismissive of “twelve bar blues with politics” which if you extend it a bit covers quite a lot of FZ’s music (make your own list here). These days I mostly go back to the guitar stuff which doesn’t fit in this thread. But I’m going to mention anyway. See if you can find: Ship Ahoy. Joe’s last imaginary guitar solo. Sheik Yerbouti Tango. Watermelon in Easter Hay. ---
**Author:** ![Carson\_O\_Genic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Carson\_O\_Genic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carson_O_Genic)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/53 "2008-03-13T10:58:25Z")
Blasphemous Astorian! …though your remarks aren’t far off the mark.I attribute the “assholish” aspect to his being agent provocateur with the cynic’s view. How many people know he was busted for producing porn? Judged as one of the composers of all time he is lackluster.Judged against his coevals is another matter. A comparison to Duke Ellington may be apt in some ways (NOT couth! ),he was a scoring band leader, had a unique voice on his instrument, and brought along a lot of talented people. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/54 "2008-03-13T13:49:41Z")
One of my favorite songs is The Dangerous Kitchen and the stuff in the strainer has a mind all its own. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/55 "2008-03-13T14:02:12Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] One of my favorite songs is The Dangerous Kitchen and the stuff in the strainer has a mind all its own. [/QUOTE] From that album I prefer The Jazz Discharge Party Hats: > [@](#): > > There was three of 'em: > One of them thought she was a beauty queen… > The other one was a walking blow-job > And then there was this skinny girl… > > * * * > > Well, one of the guys in the band picked up the panties > (he told me later the stuff in the bottom > Was like punching an eclair…) > Anyhow…there was nothing else to do… > It was alburquerque, new mexico > It’s two o’clock in the morning… ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/56 "2008-03-13T14:29:33Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] and the stuff in the strainer has a mind all its own. [/QUOTE] Sometimes the milk can hurt you! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/57 "2008-03-13T14:47:46Z")
[QUOTE=Gfactor] From that album I prefer The Jazz Discharge Party Hats: [/QUOTE] Who wants to ride on an ironing board? I tried me one, they aint no fun. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/58 "2008-03-13T17:45:16Z")
[QUOTE=astorian] fifteen year old intellectual suburban white boys who think that everybody on Earth is a phony or an asshole, except for themselves and Zappa. [/QUOTE] Hey, now. ---
**Author:** ![Fritz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c57346/32.png) [@Fritz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fritz)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/59 "2008-03-13T17:59:59Z")
[QUOTE=singular1] Opal, you hot little bitch! (Yeah, it’s nuthin’ in print, but you gotta hear it. Rent [_200 Motels_.) Billy was a mountain. Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder. [/QUOTE] “Hey Ethel…wanna eat some clams?” ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929/60 "2008-03-14T19:59:20Z")
[QUOTE=astorian] 1. He had an unmatched ability to discover and nurture talent. A stint with Zappa ALWAYS made a musician much better. [/QUOTE] Wow, I’m glad I never experienced Wild Man Fischer in his natural state! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-frank-zappa-quote-lyric/440929.md?page=2)