# Favourite/least favourite parts of the Bible? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 29, 2006, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387 "2006-03-29T11:28:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/41 "2006-03-29T22:02:38Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > The Song of Solomon > > here is the first chapter … > > 1. The song of songs, which is Solomon’s… Now _that’s_ what I’m talkin’ about. Reading that was the point where I started thinking “This G-d guy, he’s pretty cool. He’s just got _really_ bad PR people working for him nowadays.” ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/42 "2006-03-29T22:25:10Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > Now _that’s_ what I’m talkin’ about. > > Reading that was the point where I started thinking “This G-d guy, he’s pretty cool. He’s just got _really_ bad PR people working for him nowadays.” I find reading the old testament, like you would read The Illiad or The Obysey, gives a much better feeling and view of the book. Then reading the new testament gospels like conflicting and mixed up news reports, and the rest of the new testament like web pages and blogs, leads to a much better view of the whole bible. ---
**Author:** ![Bertie\_Wooster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/58f4c7/32.png) [@Bertie\_Wooster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bertie_Wooster)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/43 "2006-03-29T22:27:00Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Joshua, I believe. Numbers, 31. Looked it up. As for my least avorite, it would be all those bits mentioning that a portion for Gad had been divvied out and then to the side of that a portion for Naphtali, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/44 "2006-03-29T22:41:13Z")
The endless geneologies are the biggest snooze ever, don’t need em. The ones that cover the same stuff, like the gospels…condense them into one and call it good. I rather like Revelation, after 25 books that are about being nice to your neighbor and all that, getting an ass-kicking god back is refreshing. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/45 "2006-03-29T22:42:15Z")
I agree Job is the obvious “least favorite” part. But let me add The Passover story from Exodous. When I was in college, my best friend (Jewish) had me over for Passover Dinner. I accepted and enjoyed it, but after dinner he and I were talking, I asked him was it bad that we just enjoyed a wonderful feast that celebrated the massacre of Egyptian babies? He said had never thought about that. Since then, every passover he calls me and wishes me a happy baby killing. ---
**Author:** ![cactus\_waltz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@cactus\_waltz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cactus_waltz)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/46 "2006-03-30T05:17:43Z")
In fact, I’ve started to really enjoy the Genesis just because of the preachings of KRS-One (yes, that’s right): > [@](#): > > Well black kids follow me > Genesis chapter eleven verse ten > Explains the geneology of Chem > Chem was a black man, in Africa > If you repeat this fact they can’t laugh at ya > Genesis fourteen verse thirteen > Abraham steps on the scene > Being a descendent of Chem which is a fact > Means, Abraham too was black > Abraham born in the city of a black man > Called Nimrod grandson of Kam > Kam had four sons, one was named Canaan > Here, let me do some explaining > Abraham was the father of Isaac > Isaac was the father of Jacob > Jacob had twelve sons, for real > And these, were the children of Isreal > According to Genesis chapter ten > Egyptains descended from {Hahm,Kam} > Six hundred years later, my brother, read up > Moses was born in Egypt > In this era black Egyptians weren’t right > They enslaved black Isrealites > Moses had to be of the black race > Because he spent fourty years in Pharoah’s place > He passed as the Pharoah’s grandson > So he had to look just like him > Yes my brothers and sisters take this here song > Yo, correct the wrong ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/47 "2006-03-30T05:30:17Z")
Favorite–Ecclesiates, the only book in the Bible that reads like philosophy. Least Favorite–all those stupid laws in Leviticus and the rest of the Pentateuch. Come on–trying to pass of the customs and prejudices of your obscure little tribe as the Word of God? Who’s gonna fall for that? ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/48 "2006-03-30T14:18:02Z")
No votes for the beatitudes yet? Then I nominate the entire 5th chapter of Matthew. We all know the beatitudes well, but I find the rest of the chapter equally challenging: > [@](#): > > "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.'But I say to you, offer no resistance to one who is evil. When someone strikes you on (your) right cheek, turn the other one to him as well. > > If anyone wants to go to law with you over your tunic, hand him your cloak as well. > > Should anyone press you into service for one mile, 26 go with him for two miles. > > Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow. > > "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. > > For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors 28 do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same? Even if you don’t accept the divinity of Christ, what a better world it would be if we all lived with this philosophy. As for least favorite, I have to go with Revelation. I’m in the camp that it was meant to give hope to those persecuted under Roman rule and that the 666 was plainly referring to Nero. It’s my opinion that those churches that make Revelation a central part of their preaching miss the point entirely. Of course, you may disagree and neither of us is going to be proven wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/49 "2006-03-30T15:41:15Z")
> [@Rube E. Tewesday](#): > > And that’s exactly the attitude the book is protesting. I’ve always been fascinated by how **Job** and **Ecclesiastes** , two books that pile scorn on the idea that God rewards the good and punishes the bad, made their way into the Canon, and how few people realize how subversive they are. But the point of Job, I suppose, is that though God in general does reward the good and punish the bad, there are occasions when this, by all that we can tell, does not happen - and when it does, we are to remember that we’re in no position either to make a judgment call on God or to call him to account. I don’t know Ecclesiastes as well. God says to Job “Here’s a basic checklist of all you need to do before you’re in a position to question me: 1. build your own universe out of nothing…”. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/50 "2006-03-30T16:03:36Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > But the point of Job, I suppose, is that though God in general does reward the good and punish the bad, there are occasions when this, by all that we can tell, does not happen - and when it does, we are to remember that we’re in no position either to make a judgment call on God or to call him to account. I don’t know Ecclesiastes as well. God says to Job “Here’s a basic checklist of all you need to do before you’re in a position to question me: 1. build your own universe out of nothing…”. It’s also important to remember that Job is probably the work of divers hands at different times. The prevailing theory is that the “Prose Job” (the introductory/historical chapters 1 and 2, and the concluding chapter 42) was added to an older “Poetic Job.” [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book\_of\_Job#Authorship](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Job#Authorship) In the orginal story, there was no bet between God and Satan; Job simply suffered for no explained reason. (Which is what happens IRL.) And there was no happy ending, either. ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/51 "2006-03-30T17:40:51Z")
I don’t like _Revelation_ simply because of what it’s done to Christianity. Everyone who tries to attach a meaning to something (ie. “This symbolizes the war in Iraq”) and the whole “sky is falling” attitude are really making Christianity discussions very grating. That, and I _hate_ how people keep adding an “s” to the end of “Revelation.” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/52 "2006-03-30T18:36:59Z")
You knew **someone** was gonna do it . . . 😃 > [@](#): > > ‘Now,’ said the prison charlie, ‘listen to the Word of the Lord.’ Then he picked up the big book and flipped over the pages, keeping on wetting his fingers to do this by licking them splurge splurge. He was a bolshy great burly bastard with a very red litso, but he was very fond of myself, me being a young lad and also now very interested in the big book. It had been arranged as part of my like further education to read in the book and even have music on the chapel stereo while I was reading, O my brothers. And that was real horrorshow. They would like lock me in and let me slooshy holy music by J.S. Bach and G.F. Handel, and I would read of these starry yahoodies tolchocking each other and then peeting their Hebrew vino and getting on to the bed with their wives’ like handmaidens, real horrorshow. That kept me going, brothers. I didn’t so much kopat the later part of the book, which is more like all preachy govoreeting than fighting and the old in-out. But one day the charles said to me, squeezing me like tight with his bolshy beefy rooker, ‘Ah, 6655321, think on the divine suffering. Meditate on that, my boy.’ And all the time he had this rich manny von of Scotch on him, and then he went off to his little cantora to peet some more. So I read all about the scourging and the crowning with thorns and then the cross veshch and all that cal, and I viddied better that there was something in it. While the stereo played bits of lovely Bach I closed my glazzies and viddied myself helping in and even taking charge of the tolchocking and the nailing in, being dressed in a like toga that was the heighth of Roman fashion. – _A Clockwork Orange,_ Anthony Burgess ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/53 "2006-03-30T18:49:36Z")
[Matthew 6](http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/mt/6.html) Um, hey guys, this is Jesus. You know all that stuff you do to show everybody how Christian you are and how much you love me and how much better you are than everyone else? Cut it out. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/54 "2006-03-30T19:09:10Z")
I love reading of Jonah - comedy disguised as a Bible lesson and Nehimiah - a drama with no “miracles”. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/55 "2006-03-30T19:22:41Z")
> [@middleman](#): > > When I was in college, my best friend (Jewish) had me over for Passover Dinner. I accepted and enjoyed it, but after dinner he and I were talking, I asked him was it bad that we just enjoyed a wonderful feast that celebrated the massacre of Egyptian babies? > > He said had never thought about that. Since then, every passover he calls me and wishes me a happy baby killing. You’re probably going to owe my MIL a new tablecloth in a couple of weeks. I just _know_ I’ll end up thinking about this during Seder, and probably at some point where I’ll laugh wine out through my nose. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/56 "2006-03-30T19:50:49Z")
I love the whole story of David. It seems a lot more “real” than most of the biblical narratives- you _know_ this guy by the time it’s finished. Such a pity there’s never been a much better movie about him (though a miniseries would be better, though they’d mangle it I’m sure.) My favorite moments are his relationship with Saul (love-hate mentor-enemy) and Jonathan (note: I do _not_ see it as a gay affair), Bathsheba and the dramatic highpoint- the all male pieta remix as he holds the body of Absalom (not the first son lost to deeds he can blame himself for). Even Abishag in old age- this is a character worthy of Shakespeare (and I was really glad to see somebody else make the _Godfather_ analogy- I’ve often wondered if that was Puzo’s inspiration). Other faves: Abraham (also a very human character) and Jacob (he wrestled with an angel- how cool is that? And he’s the one who stayed in the tents with the women, imagine what Esau would have done to the angel!). Parts of the gospels. Least faves: the Epistles, the books of law, and other things that are so clearly tied to a particular place and time. It’s almost like reading Assyrian recipes and zoning ordinances. Revelations: it’s so clearly either coded or written by a wildly delusional zealot, and I’ve no idea why so many people still take it so seriously (its vagueness is so malleable I suppose). ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/57 "2006-03-30T20:00:15Z")
One of my favorite ever overheard items happened in a grocery store a few years ago. I ran into “Miss Maude”, a former schoolteacher who had since retired and was the type of sweet [Aunt Clara](http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b115/EowynB/Bewitched/auntclara.gif) type lil’ ol’ ladies who has nothing of interest to say but doesn’t let that stop them from talking forever and ever to anybody who’s too polite to walk away. She was also the type who can put the LOL in Little Old Lady, but never intentionally. We were at the meat counter in the grocery store and she was blathering on and on sweetly and boringly about her petunias or some such and I smiled and nodded and tried to name all of the presidents in reverse chronological order in my mind to seem interested when a lady came up, looked in Ms. Maude’s basket and said “Excuse me, ma’am, but I notice you’re buying kidneys… I’ve never bought those but they’re so cheap I probley should get some. Could you tell me how you fix them?” Miss Maude: “Well, dear, I just boil them in some water with some salt and pepper and seasonings and then leave them to cool on some paper towels and then when they’re cool enough to touch I tear 'em into small chunks.” Woman: Hmmm. Do they taste okay? Miss Maude: Well, I don’t eat 'em personally, but I don’t like red meat [insert long story about why she doesn’t eat red meat here], but Sam and Lou and Ray and Josie eat 'em like there’s no tomorrow! Woman: Hmmm. Well, it’s less than a dollar, I’ll get some and try that. Thanks! Miss Maude continued talking about her petunias or whatever, then when the woman was long out of earshot she cocked her head and asked, completely innocently and seriously, “Do you suppose I should have told that lady that I only cook kidneys for my cats?” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/58 "2006-03-30T20:01:16Z")
AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGG!!! Please pardon that last one. It was meant for another thread. (Second time today I’ve done that- must be the new computer tabbing.) ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/59 "2006-03-30T22:03:09Z")
Hee. I was figguring that you were heading toward some Exodus-based dietary rule. Like maybe she’d mixed dairy with her kidneys. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387/60 "2006-03-30T22:38:08Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Least faves: the Epistles, the books of law, and other things that are so clearly tied to a particular place and time. It’s almost like reading Assyrian recipes and zoning ordinances. You think those are dull?! I bet your town’s zoning ordinances don’t prescribe impalement for violators! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-least-favourite-parts-of-the-bible/350387.md?page=4)