# Favourite Python quotes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 4, 2006, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307 "2006-08-04T11:27:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/21 "2006-08-04T19:59:54Z")
It’s fun to charter an accountant And sail the wide accountancy, To find, explore the funds offshore And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy! ---
**Author:** ![Gail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Gail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gail)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/22 "2006-08-04T20:05:34Z")
Mr. Debakey’s free, but he’s a bit conciliatory. I\*could \* be arguing in my spare time. It’s the single most popular cheese in the world. “Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah!” ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/23 "2006-08-04T20:33:22Z")
[QUOTE=Gail] “Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah!” [/QUOTE] But if you tell that to kids today, they don’t believe you. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/24 "2006-08-04T20:57:49Z")
[QUOTE=Gail] Mr. Debakey’s free, but he’s a bit conciliatory. [/QUOTE] “Try Mr. Barnard, room twelve.” [Michael DeBakey](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_DeBakey) and [Christiaan Barnard](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christiaan_Barnard) were pioneering heart surgeons. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/25 "2006-08-04T21:19:43Z")
I find myself thinking of the **Architect’s Sketch** all the time, when talking to people using the “everything is a nail when you have a hammer” philosophy to systems design… > [@](#): > > **Architect** : This is a 12-story block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive here in the entrance hall, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort, past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these large… > **Interviewer** : Excuse me. > **Architect** : Yes? > **Interviewer** : Did you say _knives_? > **Architect** : Rotating knives, yes? > **Interviewer** : Are you proposing to… _slaughter_ our tenants? > **Architect** : …Does that not fit in with your plans? > **Interviewer** : Ah, no, it does not… We asked for a simple block of flats. > **Architect** : Ah! I hadn’t fully divined your attitude towards the tenants. You see, I mainly design slaughterhouses. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/26 "2006-08-04T21:30:34Z")
The BBC would like to apologize for the next announcement. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/27 "2006-08-04T21:31:17Z")
Also in a workplace context, I find myself thinking of the interview sketch where the interviewer is giving the interviewee an incredibly stressful interview: > [@](#): > > **Interviewer** : (rings a small bell, and pauses) Aren’t you going to ask me why I rang the bell? > **Candidate** : Er… Why did you ring the bell? > **Interviewer** : Why do you think I rang the bell? (slight pause) **FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE… ZERO!!** (begins writing furiously on a form) > **Candidate** : What, well, I, er… > **Interviewer** : Too late! Of course the things the interviewer does get more and more fantastic, finally getting the candidate to do something extremely silly, before admitting that the position was filled weeks ago. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/28 "2006-08-04T21:54:26Z")
One of my favorites was said by a non-python: the show that day had a running gags about storage jars and lemon curry. Then the show “ended” and the real BBC reporter appeared: [Sitting at the traditional BBC news desk] _ **Richard Baker** _: \* We’ve just heard that an explosion in the kitchens of the House of Lords has resulted in the breakage of seventeen storage jars. Police ruled out foul play. \* (pause) [Checks teleprompter, looks puzzled] \*Lemon curry? \* * * * From Spamalot: _There’s a very small percentile, Who enjoys a dancing gentile, I’m sad to be the one with this bad news! But never mind your swordplay, You just won’t succeed on Broadway, You just won’t succeed on Broadway, If you don’t have any Jews!_ ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/29 "2006-08-04T22:19:55Z")
“After all, murder is just an extroverted suicide.” “No one enjoys a good joke more than I do. Except perhaps my wife. Oh, and Capt. Jennings. Come to think of it, most people enjoy a good joke more than I do but that’s beside the point.” “Ah, yes, but it says here you’re indeed a dull person: ‘Frightfully boring and exceedingly drab and awful.’ And whereas in most professions these would be drawbacks, in accountacy they are in fact a plus.” “… and there’s this one scene where I swear you can see _everything_ but my friend says it’s just the way he’s holding his spear …” ---
**Author:** ![Standard\_Nathan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Standard\_Nathan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standard_Nathan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/30 "2006-08-04T23:06:57Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] “Always look on the bright side of life… _doo doot, doo doot doo doo doo doo_” (That whole song, in fact. Are there legal copies of it for download anywhere?) [/QUOTE] iTunes “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, but I’m afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently…” ---
**Author:** ![t-mobileguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@t-mobileguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-mobileguy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/31 "2006-08-04T23:52:38Z")
It’s actually very sad, but the other day one of my coworkers said something I thought sounded very good. So I replied “here, here well spoken Bruce!” The coworker blinked, looked at me and said “why are you quoting _Finding Nemo?”_ :smack: :wally ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/32 "2006-08-04T23:54:44Z")
I can’t help with any Python quotes, but by Sunday I may be able to come up with some of my favorite PERL code. What? ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/33 "2006-08-05T00:03:37Z")
[QUOTE=Rayne Man] Albatross , Albatross , get your Albatross here. [/QUOTE] What flavour is it? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/34 "2006-08-05T00:21:55Z")
No, “it’s only a flesh wound”? I am amazed. As for favs, too many to count. Watery tarts is right up there, as well as "I thought we were an autonmous collective? and “help, help! I’m being repressed!” ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/35 "2006-08-05T00:43:18Z")
JC: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position. MP: Yes, but that’s not just saying ‘No it isn’t.’ JC: Yes it is! MP: No it isn’t! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/36 "2006-08-05T01:44:47Z")
No, well, we don’t have “Rarnaby Budge” by Charles Dikkens with two k’s the well-known Dutch author – and perhaps to save time I should add that we don’t have “Carnaby Fudge” by Darles Chickens, or “Farmer of Sludge” by Marles Pickens, or even “Stickwick Stapers” by Farles Wickens with four M’s and a silent Q!! Why don’t you try [W.H. Smith’s](http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Scripts/TheBookshopSketch)? ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/37 "2006-08-05T02:37:36Z")
Also from memory… sorry if I mess it up a bit. THERE IT IS!!! What, behind the rabbit? No… it IS the rabbit. \<\\> You Tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared. ---
**Author:** ![Stinkum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Stinkum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stinkum)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/38 "2006-08-05T03:58:04Z")
“If we took the bones out, it wouldn’t be crunchy!” “Intercourse the penguin!” “There’s some lovely muck over here.” “It’s just a bunny.” “Run away! Run away!” “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.” (Best insult ever.) Basically, all of _The Holy Grail_ is quotable, in the right company. Otherwise, you just get the Look of Puzzlement. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/39 "2006-08-05T04:03:47Z")
“Just a LITTLE peril?” ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307/40 "2006-08-05T04:12:00Z")
“Would you like to come back to my place? Bouncy Bouncy. I am no longer infected” Not from a sketch but still my favorite: “Good riddance you freeloading bastard, I hope you fry” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-python-quotes/367307.md?page=3)