# Favourite wastes of time - best Cracked.com articles **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 15, 2011, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144 "2011-07-15T16:37:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/1 "2011-07-15T16:37:03Z")
Like TVTropes, good old [Cracked.com](http://Cracked.com) can prove an entertaining and informative time sink on the interwebs. Which articles stand out for you? For me, I always get a laugh out of [the 5 most unintentionally hilarious comic strips](http://www.cracked.com/article_15667_the-5-most-unintentionally-hilarious-comic-strips.html), which mercilessly rips the piss out of material that would ordinarily put you to sleep. Also good are [10 great children’s books for people who hate their children](http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-great-childrens-books-for-people-who-hate-their-children/), [8 stupid Amazon products with impressively sarcastic reviews](http://www.cracked.com/article_18939_8-stupid-amazon-products-with-impressively-sarcastic-reviews.html) and the [images you won’t believe aren’t photoshopped](http://www.cracked.com/article_18444_17-more-images-you-wont-believe-arent-photoshopped.html?wa_user1=4&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended) series, as well as anything with the word zombie in the title. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/2 "2011-07-15T17:30:56Z")
Oh hey a Cracked link… there go my next five hours. ---
**Author:** ![SecretaryofEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SecretaryofEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecretaryofEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/3 "2011-07-15T19:09:27Z")
My favorite might be “My Brief Time as Rupolph’s Best Friend.” > **[My Brief Time As Rudolph's Best Friend](https://www.cracked.com/blog/my-brief-time-as-rudolphs-best-friend)** > > Freak nose. You have a freak nose. It's not a normal nose, it's a freak nose. I'm Daniel. Your nose is wrong. Your whole face. You were poorly designed. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/4 "2011-07-15T19:13:46Z")
[Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3](http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/). I don’t like Seanbaby much, but that article is fucking gold. There’s a lot of list articles that left me gasping for air at the time, but I can’t remember any specific ones offhand. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/5 "2011-07-15T19:35:59Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Oh hey a Cracked link… there go my next five hours. This ---
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/6 "2011-07-16T14:03:17Z")
My favorite has always been [The Top 10 Ragdoll Physics Moments in Mixed Martial Arts](http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-mixed-martial-arts-knockouts-that-displayed-rag-doll-physics/). Crazy links, and hilarious, hilarious commentary. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/7 "2011-07-16T21:08:07Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > [Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3](http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/). I don’t like Seanbaby much, but that article is fucking gold. > > There’s a lot of list articles that left me gasping for air at the time, but I can’t remember any specific ones offhand. ☹ His [Four Most Homophobic Comics Ever Created](http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-4-most-homophobic-comics-ever-created/?wa_user1=2&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=moreon) is pretty good, too. Although given the material he’s working with, it’d be hard not come up with something good. He is, after all, talking about a comic that features the following line and footnote: > [@](#): > > “There’s no time for your - AAARRHHH!\*” > > [sub]\*Proverbs 22:8[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/8 "2011-07-17T03:51:00Z")
[10 Animals You Won’t Believe Are Closely Related](http://www.cracked.com/article_19077_10-animals-you-wont-believe-are-closely-related_p2.html) ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/9 "2011-07-17T15:17:28Z")
I love their [Was 911 an inside job ?](http://www.cracked.com/article_15740_was-911-inside-job.html) article. ---
**Author:** ![maikai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@maikai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maikai)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/10 "2011-07-25T02:15:17Z")
How accurate are their articles? Obviously some are completely humorous but some seem like they are legitimately factual. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/11 "2011-07-25T04:08:53Z")
Nobody questions the Punchmaster! _punch_ ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/12 "2011-07-25T04:51:13Z")
> [@pulehoopo](#): > > How accurate are their articles? Obviously some are completely humorous but some seem like they are legitimately factual. A lot of articles are totally overblown for comedic effect, but nearly all of them have cites peppered throughout the articles to show that they’re not _completely_ talking out their asses. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if they misrepresented a few studies, too. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/13 "2011-07-25T11:12:19Z")
I dare you to get through this one without laughing so hard you cry. [15 unintentionally perverted children’s toys](http://www.cracked.com/article_18494_15-unintentionally-perverted-toys-children.html). Sort of NSFW, but not on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/14 "2011-07-25T22:17:35Z")
[6 Animals That Just Don’t Give a A F#@k](http://www.cracked.com/article_18860_6-animals-that-just-dont-give-f2340k.html) > [@](#): > > If they allowed bets on interspecies rivalries, we’d lay our money square on the snake, every time. And we would lose that money, for one very simple reason: because the mongoose isn’t fighting snakes for food, or for territory, or for survival – it’s fighting snakes because _fuck snakes_. That’s seriously the reason why. > \ > Some species of mongoose have even been known to fight king cobras, a snake so badass it literally eats other, lesser snakes for breakfast. And then along comes this doofy hillbilly weasel, which proceeds to murder the shit out of the living embodiment of terror just because there’s nothing better to do that day. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2011, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/15 "2011-07-25T22:52:26Z")
I was doing the rounds of the second hand shops and found a DVD of _Watership Down_. Humming the [theme tune](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MODq81_cDKI) and filled with nostalgia for a book I hadn’t read in 30 odd years, I purchased the movie and sat my kid down in front of the TV with promises of cute bunnies and thrilling adventures Now I know why it’s on Cracked’s list of [10 Best Animated Movies For (Traumatizing) Kids](http://www.cracked.com/article_15070_the-10-best-animated-movies-traumatizing-kids.html?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Movies+%26+TV&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended). She’s twelve and I don’t think she will ever forgive me. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/16 "2011-07-26T04:14:03Z")
[URLhttp://www.cracked.com/article\_19155\_the-14-most-unintentionally-terrifying-statues-in-world.html"]The 14 Most Unintentionally Terrifying Statues in the World [5 Horrific Ways Your Brain Can Turn On You Without Warning](http://www.cracked.com/article/199_5-horrific-ways-your-brain-can-turn-you-without-warning) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/17 "2011-07-26T15:42:02Z")
The animal articles fascinate me. Cited this one recently: [The 5 Creepiest Serial Killers (Who Were Animals)](http://www.cracked.com/article_18483_the-5-creepiest-serial-killers-who-were-animals.html). I love the quote about number 1: “And now he’s just alive, out there. A living, breathing, scream-eating dinosaur that is so sick of his own immortality that he passes the time by destroying life whenever he sees it.” The war-based articles are great, as well. A favorite: [The 7 Most Badass Last Stands in the History of Battle](http://www.cracked.com/article/197_the-7-most-badass-last-stands-in-history-battle). My favorite part: “Benkei went out to the drawbridge leading towards the castle, clenched his naginata in his hands and dared the army on the other side to fuck with him. When a few accepted, Benkei slapped the fail out of them with the blunt end of his bladed axe, knocking their brains out and sending crumpled remains splashing into the moat.” I love the phrase, “slapped the fail out of them.” hehehe ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/18 "2011-07-26T19:45:04Z")
How in all holy heck do you creat an account there? I want to leave a comment correcting the misinformation on Purim in “Six Insane Holidays”, and I go to the registration page and I fill out the spaces and click the create account button, and nothing keeps happening! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/19 "2011-07-26T20:02:42Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > I was doing the rounds of the second hand shops and found a DVD of _Watership Down_. Humming the [theme tune](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MODq81_cDKI) and filled with nostalgia for a book I hadn’t read in 30 odd years, I purchased the movie and sat my kid down in front of the TV with promises of cute bunnies and thrilling adventures > > Now I know why it’s on Cracked’s list of [10 Best Animated Movies For (Traumatizing) Kids](http://www.cracked.com/article_15070_the-10-best-animated-movies-traumatizing-kids.html?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Movies+%26+TV&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended). > > She’s twelve and I don’t think she will ever forgive me. I had to look this up. Even more traumatizing than _Watership Down_, according to this piece, is **Pom Poko** , about _tannuki_ (translated as “raccoons”) who are shapeshifters fighting against evil developers. Apparently tanuki are traditional Japanese characters, and part of the folklore is about their testicles. They use their giant shapeshifting testicles to battle the developers. See the site for pictures(although the video clip has been takemn down) This film was released in the US by _Disney_! Now I HAVE TO find this film. When I looked it up on Wikipedia, I found this fascinating and subversive tidbit: > [@](#): > > The songs which appear in the film are Japanese children’s songs, with some change in lyrics for effect. Some of them are repeated with different lyrics over the course of the film. Some of them are known as warabe uta, songs which are sung as part of traditional children’s games, often with lyrics incomprehensible to modern Japanese. (The melancholic electronic melodies which many Japanese pedestrian crossings play, a short clip of which appears in the film, is a famous warabe-uta.) Among the songs which appear include: > > … > > Tan tan tanuki – A common schoolyard song which makes explicit reference to the tanuki’s anatomy: > Tan Tan Tanuki no kintama wa, > Kaze mo nai no ni, > Bura bura > Roughly translated, this means “Tan-tan-tanuki’s “golden balls”, there isn’t even any wind but still go swing-swing”.[4] It then proceeds to continue for several verses, with many regional variations. It is sung to the melody of an American Baptist hymn called Shall We Gather At The River?.[5] > **[Pom Poko](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pom_Poko)** > > Pom Poko\[a\] is a 1994 Japanese animated fantasy film written and directed by Isao Takahata, animated by Studio Ghibli for Tokuma Shoten, Nippon Television Network and Hakuhodo, and distributed by Toho. > The film centers around a colony of Japanese raccoon dogs living in the outskirts of Tokyo as they work to combat the growing deforestation of their home. Takahata's third film for Ghibli, Pom Poko was released on July 16, 1994, to critical and commercial success. The film was Japan's submission... Don’t tell the Baptists that the Japanese stole their hymn to use for a song about raccoon testicles. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144/20 "2011-07-26T22:26:12Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I had to look this up. Even more traumatizing than _Watership Down_, according to this piece, is **Pom Poko** , about _tannuki_ (translated as “raccoons”) who are shapeshifters fighting against evil developers. Apparently tanuki are traditional Japanese characters, and part of the folklore is about their testicles. Bit of a hijack, but I was confused for _years_ about the correct translation of “tanuki” and exactly what sort of animal a tanuki is – or even if they really existed – and want to spare others the same confusion. 🙂 Although the term is sometimes translated as “raccoon” or “badger”, a tankui is actually a (wild) canid species indigenous to Japan. They look kind of like foxes, and have raccoon-like black marks around their eyes. A lot of Japanese/English dictionaries translate the term as “raccoon dog”, which is better but still IMHO confusing because to many Americans a 'coon dog is a domesticated dog used for _hunting_ raccoons. I never saw a tanuki while living in Japan, but I am told the males really do have noticeably large testicles compared to their body size. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/favourite-wastes-of-time-best-cracked-com-articles/589144.md?page=2)