# FBI recruiting for new "anti-obscenity squad" **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 21, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780 "2005-09-21T21:46:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/21 "2005-09-22T13:24:35Z")
I’ve said all along, “Elect Republicans, get censorship.” It’s really that simple. You guys have been living in a fantasy world if you think the Repubicans won’t take money from Iraq and the war on terror to prosecute porn. Free speech has always been the enemy of the Republicans. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/22 "2005-09-22T13:28:38Z")
“Which agents will the FBI be putting on the anti-obscenity task force, Director?” “I don’t know, but we’ll know them when we see them!” ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/23 "2005-09-22T13:39:06Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > “Which agents will the FBI be putting on the anti-obscenity task force, Director?” > > “I don’t know, but we’ll know them when we see them!” Agents will be given preference who already have an underwear drawer to store the evidence in. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/24 "2005-09-22T13:45:05Z")
> [@the OP](#): > > What the double-penetration-facial-cumshot-FUCK is going on here? “Hello, FBI? I’d like to report an obscenity.” Your tax dollars at work! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/25 "2005-09-22T13:53:11Z")
Where do I join up? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/26 "2005-09-22T13:54:20Z")
Sample letter for sending to your Rep. or Senator: I understand from an article in the Washington Post that the FBI, under the direction of the US Attorney General that the FBI is diverting manpower and money for an obscenity division that will be responsible for seeking convictions against people for sexual material marketed to adults – not child porn. Is it wise to be diverting this money and manpower from protecting Americans from people who want to kill us? Can you guarantee me that no terrorist attacks will succeed from now on? I am a lot more frightened that someone will blow Americans up than that some Americans will look at pictures I deem offensive. As my legislator, do you think this is a wise use of US resources? Do you support it? If not, how will you oppose it? Thanks very much for your attention to this matter. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/27 "2005-09-22T13:55:51Z")
> [@Frostillicus](#): > > [Seymour Skinner] Welcome to Dick Cheney’s America [Seymour Skinner] Wouldn’t it really be, at least according to the article, Ed Meese’s America? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/28 "2005-09-22T14:15:59Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Sample letter for sending to your Rep. or Senator: > > I understand from an article in the Washington Post that the FBI, under the direction of the US Attorney General that the FBI is diverting manpower and money for an obscenity division that will be responsible for seeking convictions against people for sexual material marketed to adults – not child porn. > > Is it wise to be diverting this money and manpower from protecting Americans from people who want to kill us? Can you guarantee me that no terrorist attacks will succeed from now on? I am a lot more frightened that someone will blow Americans up than that some Americans will look at pictures I deem offensive. > > As my legislator, do you think this is a wise use of US resources? Do you support it? If not, how will you oppose it? > > Thanks very much for your attention to this matter. Very nicely put, I will likely copy this nearly word-for-word and send it to my rep, if that’s OK with you. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/29 "2005-09-22T14:24:53Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > But not a federal crime, unless it goes through the mail or something like that. If your local porn store sells to minors, that’s outside FBI jurisdiction. Not true. If your local porn store sells to minors porn that was shipped in interstate commerce, then it’s federal. Just another nice consequence of twisting the Commerce Clause out of any meaningful limitations. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/30 "2005-09-22T14:27:05Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > Where do I join up? I’d tell ya, but I’m working undercover. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/31 "2005-09-22T14:28:36Z")
Quiz: (Check only one answer). Obscene material \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ protected by the First Amendment. A. IS B. IS NOT ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/32 "2005-09-22T14:29:44Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Quiz: > > (Check only one answer). > > Obscene material \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ protected by the First Amendment. > > A. IS > B. IS NOT B. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/33 "2005-09-22T14:38:31Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > B. ☹ Give the man his Kewpie doll! ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/34 "2005-09-22T14:40:43Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Give the man his Kewpie doll! But make sure it’s clothed. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/35 "2005-09-22T14:54:44Z")
Are there any US Senators or US Congressmen with the courage to openly oppose an attack on pornography? I think doing so would sound the death knell on their political careers. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/36 "2005-09-22T15:03:36Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Very nicely put, I will likely copy this nearly word-for-word and send it to my rep, if that’s OK with you. Thanks! Well, you might wanna clean up that first paragraph, where I use the phrase “by the FBI” twice. Glad you found it useful, though. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/37 "2005-09-22T15:04:00Z")
This administration needs to attack this propblem head on. They need a point man who will be willing to have military-like single mindedness in his approach to root out this scourge. A man that’s willing to toe the party line and ask the easy question. A man like Jeff Guckert. I think he’s available. for a fee ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/38 "2005-09-22T15:04:39Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Are there any US Senators or US Congressmen with the courage to openly oppose an attack on pornography? I think doing so would sound the death knell on their political careers. Yeah, but do they wanna look soft on terrorism in doing so? That, too, would sound the death knell on their political careers. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/39 "2005-09-22T15:05:20Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Give the man his Kewpie doll! A) Why isn’t it? (I will be the first to admit my knowledge on the Constitution is quite small) B) So what? Just because it’s not explicity protected by the first amendment does’nt make it illegal, does it? Last I checked, pornoagraphy was legal. What seperates pornography from obscenity? And, C) Do you, personally, think this is a good idea? Diverting manpower that could be used to fight terrorism or arrest criminals just so we can shut down “Spanky’s Fuck Farm” because they forgot to fill out Form 27-B: Application for a Blow Job? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780/40 "2005-09-22T15:09:37Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > They’ll have to pry my penis from my cold, dead hand. Done and done! I thought with Ashcroft gone crap like this would be easing off. Apparently not. -Joe [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fbi-recruiting-for-new-anti-obscenity-squad/322780.md?page=3)