# FEAR ME: I'm a Jew! or \*sigh\* WB strikes again **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 2, 2001, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008 "2001-10-02T18:03:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/61 "2001-10-03T03:27:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by portajon \* > \*\*If you are admitted agnostic and born in the US you are not Jewish. You are American. My heritage is Irish but that won’t get me shit in Ireland. \*\* Holy SHIT! Who died and made you G-d? Now you’re the arbiter of who gets to call themselves a Jew and who doesn’t? Where the hell did you come from? Planet Moron? Go away, you’re pissing me off. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/62 "2001-10-03T03:39:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by portajon \* > \*\*If you are admitted agnostic and born in the US you are not Jewish. You are American. My heritage is Irish but that won’t get me shit in Ireland. \*\* You’re also abrasive as hell. That would get you a nomination for Prime Minister of Jerkland, though. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![portajon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c0e974/32.png) [@portajon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/portajon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/63 "2001-10-03T03:47:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LaurAnge \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by portajon \* > > \*\*If you are admitted agnostic and born in the US you are not Jewish. You are American. My heritage is Irish but that won’t get me shit in Ireland. \*\* > > Thank you so much for clearing that up for me. All this time (silly me) I thought I was Jewish and Canadian! > > Fuck you for telling me factually what I am without even knowing me. Now, I’m curious. What country would I have to be born in to be considered a Jew? \*\* Excuse me, if you are agnostic and born in Canada you are Canadien. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/64 "2001-10-03T03:58:14Z")
Portajon: I asked you in another thread if you could possibly remain more ignorant. Thank you for providing the answer. ---
**Author:** ![portajon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c0e974/32.png) [@portajon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/portajon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/65 "2001-10-03T03:58:58Z")
Main Entry: Ca·na·di·an Pronunciation: k&-'nA-dE-&n Function: noun Date: 1568 : a native or inhabitant of Canada ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/66 "2001-10-03T04:05:27Z")
Fenris - You’ve forgot one more group: E. Israelis. Most Israeli Jews consider religious faith to be a secondary aspect of being a Jew. After all, your talking about a country - one designed to be a Jewish State - which was founded by self declared agnostics and atheists (such as David Ben-Gurion). I think that’s the greatest cause of division between the U.S. and Israeli Jewish communities. We don’t think of ourselves as a race, exactly, but rather as an extended family, a clan or, well… a tribe. Your sister-in-law didn’t just change her beliefs, she joined a group. Became an acquisition. Pulled a Kevin Costner. As it were. I think **Lemur** had it right (as usual) when he wrote: > [@](#): > > In our modern pluralisic society we sometimes forget that ethnicity, language, religion, and political affiliation used to be all mixed up together. The idea that they could be separated is a modern invention. The Jewish People has been around for a _very_ long time. Over 3000 yearsm in fact. People thought differently back then. Of course, that’s just my point of view. As an American, you may see thigs differently. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/67 "2001-10-03T04:15:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alessan \* > \*\*The Jewish People has been around for a _very_ long time. Over 3000 yearsm in fact. \*\* Pssst… we just started our 5,762nd year. We be _old_! ---
**Author:** ![portajon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c0e974/32.png) [@portajon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/portajon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/68 "2001-10-03T04:15:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monty \* > \*\*Portajon: > > I asked you in another thread if you could possibly remain more ignorant. > > Thank you for providing the answer. \*\* Nope. It would be impossible to “remain” more ignorant. I could remain ignorant but more ignorant would have to imply time travel through which I would neglect to learn something I already know. Upon returning to the present I would be more ignorant. Other than that, no. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/69 "2001-10-03T04:22:13Z")
From the Encyclopedia (Encarta): Jewish Identity Today: What constitutes Jewish identity came into question during the 19th and 20th centuries. Some Jews today, especially in Israel, reject the Jewish religion but insist that they belong to a distinct ethnic or national community. Other Jews, especially in the West, reject the ethnic component of Jewish identity while claiming they follow a distinct religion. Still others in the West define themselves as cultural Jews, meaning that they lack a religious affiliation and feel part of some other ethnic group, but they believe there is a distinctive Jewish culture in which they participate. And in all parts of the world there are Jews who insist that Jews are both an ethnic and a religious group. Finally, there are those who insist that Jewish religious law defines Jewish identity. In this view, anyone born to a Jewish mother, or anyone who has properly converted to the Jewish faith, is a full-fledged member of the Jewish people and religion. Thus, today there is no consensus on the definition of a Jew. (Hope that clears it all up) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/70 "2001-10-03T04:26:30Z")
Listen, **portapotty** , your shitter’s full alright. Now bugger off, you’re stinkin’ up the joint! ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/71 "2001-10-03T04:30:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shayna \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Alessan \* > > \*\*The Jewish People has been around for a _very_ long time. Over 3000 years, in fact. \*\* > > Pssst… we just started our 5,762nd year. We be _old_! \*\* True, but the founding of the Jewish _Am_ is generally traced beck to the Exodus, or more specifically, to Mount Sinai. Contrary to popular opinion, Adam, Eve, Cain, Jonah, etc. were not Jewish. ---
**Author:** ![portajon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c0e974/32.png) [@portajon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/portajon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/72 "2001-10-03T04:33:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shayna \* > \*\*Listen, **portapotty** , your shitter’s full alright. Now bugger off, you’re stinkin’ up the joint! \*\* Poor thing. You don’t like my point of view so you just wish it would go away. Why don’t those that don’t practice the religion call themselves what they really are (if their country of birth isn’t enough) Semitic. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/73 "2001-10-03T04:37:50Z")
Don’t patronize me you fucking asswipe. It’s not your opinion that bothers me, it’s your rude, condescending, omnipotent attitude. **YOU** do not get to decide who is or is not a Jew. Get it, cuck-for-brains? That’s not a matter of opinion, that’s a matter of **fact**. If you intend to last very long at The Straight Dope, you’d better learn the difference - and pronto! ---
**Author:** ![portajon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c0e974/32.png) [@portajon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/portajon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/74 "2001-10-03T04:42:07Z")
Read the thread. It is not a matter of fact. It is a matter of great debate. 2 + 2 = 4. That is fact. Agnostic citizen of Canada = Jew. Bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/75 "2001-10-03T04:50:26Z")
This is the last time I’m bothering wasting my keystrokes on you, you fucking troll. Why don’t **you** read the damn thread, huh? Agnostic citizen of Canada, **born to a Jewish mother** DOES, in fact, **= JEW**. Or did you conveniently skip over the part of **leander’s** reply that specifically said: > [@](#): > > Finally, there are those who insist that **Jewish religious law defines Jewish identity**. In this view, anyone born to a Jewish mother, or anyone who has properly converted to the Jewish faith, is a full-fledged member of the Jewish people and religion. And, may I remind you, oh too-thick-to-read-the-thread-myself-but-demand-that-others-do, that it also says: > [@](#): > > Thus, today there is **no consensus on the definition of a Jew**. . And guess what, rectal rooter, that means, as I stated above, that **YOU DO NOT GET TO DECIDE WHO IS OR IS NOT A JEW**. Do you get it now, **pottylick**? ---
**Author:** ![portajon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c0e974/32.png) [@portajon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/portajon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/76 "2001-10-03T05:01:06Z")
No I don’t get it. The quote says if your mom is Jewish then you are a full fledged member of the religion. In this case it was stated that she was agnostic. That is ambiguos at best. Answer this; Why aren’t there a bunch of damn Zulus running around the streets of the US? Because any desendants of the Zulus in America are now Americans not fucking Zulus. Why don’t we all trace our heritage and claim it as our race/tribe/religion. Before long there wouldn’t be any Americans or Canadians left. Get some help with your identity crisis. You’ll feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/77 "2001-10-03T05:37:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by portajon \* > \*\*No I don’t get it. \*\* Eloquently stated. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/78 "2001-10-03T05:50:49Z")
ummm… So. How 'bout that **Wildest Bill**? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/79 "2001-10-03T06:07:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alessan \* > \*\*Your sister-in-law didn’t just change her beliefs, she joined a group. Became an acquisition. Pulled a Kevin Costner. \*\* Dances with Gefilte Fish? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008/80 "2001-10-03T06:30:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by portajon \* > **No I don’t get it. The quote says if your mom is Jewish then you are a full fledged member of the religion. In this case it was stated that she was agnostic. That is ambiguos at best.** Portajon, let’s review. Laurangemama = A Jew marries Laurangepapa = A Jew, and they have the lovely Laurange = an Agnostic According to Jewish law, if your mama’s a Jew, you’re a Jew. Simple rule. As we can see in the handy chart, Laurangemama = A Jew. Therefore, Laurange = A Jew. Ok, you following me so far? Laurange also, we learned in this thread, and, we can see from consulting the chart, is an agnostic. This is her personal belief, and doesn’t have much to do, under Jewish law, as to whether or not she’s Jewish. We also know Laurange is Canadian. This also has no bearing on her Jewishness, because there’s nothing in Judaism that prevents Jews from being citizens or subjects of anywhere. I hope this clears up the confusion that you seem to be in. If you have any more questions, please ask. I would note that this question, “Who is a Jew” is really highly debated right now, and there have been some heated discussions about what it means to be “Jewish”, and by making fairly broad statements when you’re possibly not familiar with the issue, people are going to get annoyed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/fear-me-im-a-jew-or-sigh-wb-strikes-again/85008.md?page=5)